Friday, February 15, 2008

The Toilet Seat

Barren is the desert where you threw your seed
Barren is the heart that knows not what you need
Barren is the mind that forced you to read
Barren is the soul that never takes the lead
Barren is the love that you ceased to feed
Flush .. the toilet seat is up
The toilet seat is up!

Part 2 - What goes on in a man's head?

Man: She is sweet

His Head: There is always sweeter ... check out her friends

Man: She is also cute

His Head: Cute? She is too fat/skinny/dark/fair/tall/short ... naaaah ... she is so not your style ... check out her friends

Man: But she is smart .. rare these days

His Head: Smart? Because she quoted a few writers, read a few books, held a few arguments, had some opinions ... come on ... you can do better!

Man: She is so natural and spontaneous

His Head: You mean too wild/ not wild enough? Too tame/ not tame enough? Too blunt/not blunt enough? Too eager to please you/ not eager enough? ... check out her friends on facebook

Man: I do not want her friends .. I want her!

His Head: You want to settle for less when you can have more? Now look me in the eye and tell me that you like her that much!

Man: Well ... it was just a few dates/chats

His Head: Then you keep her at an arm's length as you explore greener pasturesMan: Yeah .. this is the ultimate win-win situation; I win and you win .. hahahahaha .... ahhhhahahahahahaha ... heeeeheeeeeheeee

Thursday, February 14, 2008

What happens in a man's head?

My lovely sweet cute adorable friend sent me a message that I will sum up, then will answer the significant question she threw on my table:

"I don't want fucking men to dictate my fucking mood!!! I'm sick and fucking tired of being on cloud nine one minute coz Mr. X asked me out for coffee...and then being thrown into a pitfire in the deepest darkest corner of hell coz seven days later...he hasn't called me!!! The funny thing is, for the half hour we talked, he seemed completely smitten! I made him laugh alot, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he liked my opinions. He sometimes paused, looking for the right thing to say. I thought-stupid me!-that this was going to make all the difference. I would just really like to know what happens in a man's mind that after such a great start, it quickly goes kaput! It makes me feel so small, insignificant, ugly stupid when a man does that to me...especially when I can't find a valid rational reason!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What goes on in a man's head? ... something like this:

Man: WOW .. what a gal!!
His Head: yeah .. what a gal
Man: You do not sound as thrilled as I thought you would be
His Head: Thrilled?!! Are you kidding me, man?
Man: Why? She is smart, cute, and absolutely awesome
His Head: Yes .. and this is exactly why she is no good ... got it?
Man: Come on ... I have not had such an interesting conversation in ages ... I had a great time.
His Head: You liked her wild uninhibited spirit?
Man: Yes .. this is exactly what drew me to her .... she is just perfect
His Head: How on earth will you control her?
Man: What? Control her?
His Head: If you have a fight, she will win. If you fight again, she will complain. If you fight again and again, she will leave ... she will dump you and move on.
Man: But she would be so much in love with me
His Head: Such women are more in love with themselves and they have a lot of that nasty thing called self respect!
Man: Ok, then I will not fight with her
His Head: Ok! What happens when you flirt? Again, she will not take it ... she will dump you!
Man: I guess I will have to stop flirting.
His Head: Fine! But if you do not listen to her and make time for her, she will walk away!
Man: No .. No .. I love talking to her ... I will listen. I love her company ... I will find the time!
His Head: Sweet talking will get you no where with such a girl. She is confident and knows what she is worth. She will not believe your crap.
Man: I will not feed her crap then
His Head: She has a fulfilling life and plenty of friends and activities. You will never own her.
Man: I do not want to own her, I want to love her.
His Head: Shame on you!!!!! You sound like a pussy .... you do not want to own her, you want to love her, you will not feed her crap, you will make time for her, you will listen to her, you will not flirt, you will not fight, and you do not want to control her .... what kind of man are you?!!! You are not a man!!!

Man & His Head unite forces ... and run away ... you scared him away hun
xxx