From March 2005 until July 2010, I have successfully killed every little notion of motherhood inside of me; I have programmed my mind to overlook anything that is related to babies starting from articles on the internet, to books, toys, and maternity shops. I have consciously stopped myself from holding my nieces until they were at least one year old for fear of awakening the motherhood monster that I have sedated. I made peace with the two scenarios – being barren and cancer – and moved on with my life.
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