انا بكتبلك بالعربى اهوه علشان مش يبقى عندك حجة ... طبعا انتى مستغربة انا عايزة منك ايه و انا اللى عمرى ما كتبتلك و لا كتبت عنك ... شوفى يا ستى ... من الآخر كده حالك مش عاجبنى و انا زعلانة عليكى. انا مش قصدى انقدك و لا أضايقك بكلامى ده ... أنا بس عايزة أقولك كلام كتير من قلبى علشان انا فعلا بحبك و بتمنى لك كل خير. انتى فاكرة زمان لما بابا كان عنده بعثة فى أمريكا و كلنا سافرنا معاه؟ ايوه ... لما قعدنا 9 شهور ... المدرسة هناك كانت احلى من مدرستى هنا و بيتنا هناك كان أحلى من بيتنا هنا و الاكل هناك كان احلى من الاكل هنا و كنت فى الأول مش حافظة النشيد الوطنى بتاعهم لكن مع الوقت حفظته و حبيته ... لما التسع شهور خلصوا انا زعلت انى راجعة مصر و قعدت اعيط كتير و كنت عايزة اهرب من البيت ... انا مش كان ليا حاجة فى مصر أصلا أرجع علشانها
لما رجعت كنت مش فاهمه حاجة فى المدرسة ... كنت خايبة فى العربى و فى التاريخ و فى الجغرافية و التربيه الاجتماعية و المدرسين كان شكلهم مبهدل و كانت ريحتهم مش قد كدة الا ميس ميرفت بتاعة الانجليزى و ميس سميحة بتاعة الفرنساوى. و وحشتنى الجنينة الصغيرة اللى كانت قدام بيتنا ... أنا كنت مش بحبك يا مصر و فضلت مش بحبك سنين كتير و كرهتك أوى فى ثانوية عامة و حسيت أنك حرمتينى من حلم انى أكون طبيبة علشان قال ايه ... المجموع! و دخلت الجامعة و برده مش كنت بحبك لأنك السبب ان بابا سابنا و رجع أمريكا علشان الأبحاث و الدراسة و العلم. ماما كانت زعلانة أوى و فضلت لابسة دبلة و لما سألتها ليه .. قالت لى ان مصر مش بتحب المطلقات ... و لما أنا كبرت شويه حسيت ان مصر مش بتحب الستات أصلا
انا مش فاكرة انا امتى حبيتك يا بلدى ... بس أنا فاكرة كويس أول مره سافرت لوحدى شعرى كان بيقع و كنت ساعات بعييط من غير سبب ... هما كانوا عشر أيام عمى بس انا حسيت انى مش قادرة اتنفس و أول لما ركبت الطيارة كنت عايزة أغمض و انام علشان الوقت يعدى و أرجع تانى ... أنا مش عرفت انام ... أنا قعدت أبص فى الساعة كل شوية لحد لما الطيار قال ان احنا قربنا ننزل مطار القاهرة ... زى العبيطة دموعى نزلت و حاولت امسك نفسى ابتديت اتشحتف ... انا كنت مكسوفة أوى من شكلى قدام الركاب فعملت نفسى عندى مغص و علشان كدة بعيط و المضيفة جابت لى ساندويتش جبنة و اتلهيت فيه
انا كرهت المطار ... المطار اللى ودعت فيه بابا و المطار اللى كل ما ادخله احس انى عايزة اعيط ... انا دلوقتى بقى مش بحب السفر أصلا. أنا بحب بيتى أوى و بحب قططتى ... و أصحابى و مش كل عائلتى ... مش انا كده ابقى بحبك يا بلدى؟ مش مهم الزحمة و التراب اللى عملى حساسية فى وجهى ... مش مهم المصالح الحكوميه و الناس اللى فيها اللى بيفكرونى بالمدرسين اللى ريحيتهم وحشة و لبسهم مش حلو ... مش مهم مشاكل الستات و الرجالة اللى انت السبب فيها و اللى انا غرقانة فيها ... ايوه طبعا السبب فيها ... مش انت اللى بتخلى الستات تتحجب و انت برده اللى بترفضى انهم يظهروا فى التليفزيون أو يشتغلوا فى الشركات الكبيرة؟ مش انت برده اللى بتخلى الست مكسورة و تحت رحمة رجالة مش ليهم صلة بالرجولة غير أعضائهم التناسليه؟ مش انت اللى بتربى بنات همها كله صيد العرسان؟ ... لأ ده مش وقت تصفية الحسابات ... خلينى فى الجواب
أنا اتأكدت بقى انى بحبك لما رفضت كل عروض الشغل اللى جات لى بره ... و اتأكدت اكتر انى بحبك لما وقفت ادرس للطلبة و اديت لهم كل خبرتى فى الشغل و الحياه ... و اتأكدت تماما انى مش ليا غيريك وطن لما رفضت كل رجل كان عايز يتجوزنى و قال كلمة وحشه عليكى ... قال كانوا عايزينى اتجوز و اسيبك! و الله يا مصر انتى حمالة قسية ... الارهاب و القنابل و ضربات السياحة و ضربات الاقتصاد و سياسة خارجية متلصمة و سياسة داخليه ... متلصمة برده و ناس بتكرهك و هى بتاكل من خيريك و ناس تخلت عنك و لا مؤاخذة باعتك عند أول ناصية و ناس حراميه و مرتشية و نصابة ... فى برده ناس غلابة و كافية خيرها شرها ... انت فعلا أم الدنيا
من كام يوم ابتديت احس انى خايفة منك ... خايفى على بيتى و على قططتى و على أصحابى و على عائلتى ... خايفة أكون حبيت غلط تانى! ماما كمان خايفة منك ... تخيلى انها خايفة عليا منك؟ ماما قالت لى خليكى فى العلاقات العاطفية و سيبك من السياسة ... سياسة ايه؟ انا مش فاهمه أصلا يعنى ايه سياسة ... هو الجواب ده سياسة؟ هى ماما ليه خايفة منك يا بلدى؟ ليه سماح صاحبتى بتقول لى أوطى صوتى؟ هو أنا زعلتك فى حاجة؟ ليه سماح كمان خايفة منك؟ ليه نيرة خطيبة محمد الشرقاوى الناشر بتاعى بتعيط؟ ليه محمد مش بيشوف شغله فى دار النشر بتاعته ... ده عليه ديون و التزامات! ده أهل نيرة كدة ممكن يفسخوا الخطوبة ... الرجل مستقبله راح! و مين اسراء ديه و اتقبض عليها ليه؟ هى كانت بتعبر عن رأيها من غير ما تأذى حد. هو انتى يا مصر مش بتحبى حد يقول رأى مخالف لرأيك؟ انتى كده هتعملى زى بابا ... و بابا فى كلام كتير من اللى كان بيقوله طلع غلط! يا ترى يا مصر هتردى عليا و لا هتسبينى متلخبطة كده؟
Thursday, April 10, 2008
حبيبتى مصر
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Fair & Square: Ethar Kamal El Katatney broods over my brooding over Moez Masoud
Having made my point with regards to my encounter with Moez Masoud and having defended my right to be different or to simply be .... I think it is only fair to share with you ... my very same readers the counter argument of my pervious post: Marwa Rakha broods over Moez Masoud. Written by Ethar El Katatney on her blog
Mass media is a wonderful thing. It gives everyone, qualified or not, the opportunity to air their concerns and worries to the world, whether it's their opinion regarding the Egyptian bread crisis or simply what they had for breakfast this morning.
But as a journalist, I know the importance of measuring my words, knowing the message I'm sending out to my readers, and thinking about the added value of what I've written. And if I'm writing an op-ed, I have to make sure it doesn't turn into pointless, biased, ranting, especially if I'm arguing for a case and trying to prove a point.
I bought The Poison Tree last week, and although I found the author, Marwa Rakha, slightly oversensitive and slightly exaggerative for my taste, I thought it was a good solid read with some perceptive insights into Egyptian society. And yesterday, I stumbled upon the author's rant about Moez Masoud—a young religious scholar—in Campus Magazine.
First off, let me say that I've known Moez for over a year, and I've worked with him for a large part of that year. So obviously, I'm going to be slightly biased. But since I've known him for a lot longer than Marwa has, I'm also more qualified to speak about his character, and I called him up after I read the piece to get his side of the story.
Brief summation of the incident that Marwa says brought her "shame and disgrace": She's one of a group of people in a show where Moez is the guest speaker. The wardrobe people give her an outfit to wear, which is unsuitable to wear in the presence of a religious figure. She's asked to change by a member of her own editorial team, who apparently wasn't very diplomatic. She gets upset. Seeing how upset she is, Moez takes her aside and apologizes even though neither of the two things that upset her were his fault, whether it was the religious standards being upheld or the insensitive way her team member dealt with it.
Now, I can't deny that this is an embarrassing incident. But a couple of points need to be borne in mind before we decide if the reaction is worth “a wave of numbness […] followed by a heat flush and an urge to cry […] anger and indignation." Firstly, and I know this first-hand, Moez discusses in advance with those in charge of any show the dress code of the episode he is about to appear on. He does this specifically so as to stay true to his message and what he believes in and also so as not to embarrass anyone when it is time to start filming. Secondly, the insensitive manner in which Marwa was approached was not of Moez's doing and in fact had nothing to do with him: again, it was solely the responsibility of her team member.
The issue of there being a dress code should really be a non-issue. Almost all TV shows have dress codes—whether the audience has to wear suits, jeans, or even swimsuits for that matter. You cannot violate the dress code, it's just not done.
Well, all religions dictate that women must be modestly covered in some way. Look at Mary's outfit in any nativity scene. She is wearing a scarf on her head and long, loose fitting clothes. Think this is all hype? Skim through to 1 Corinthians 11:5 in the New Testament and you will find this passage: “And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head - it is just as though her head were shaved.” Orthodox Jewish women have to cover their hair with the tichel, a piece of fabric. And similarly, Muslim women have to wear loose clothes and cover their skin and hair. Some people may disagree with this, but let's not digress and just assume that it is a universal, Abrahamic matter for (at least) certain religious figures to believe that modesty in attire goes hand-in-hand with spirituality.
So when people share the stage with a religious figure who is about to discuss religious matters, they cover themselves to a certain degree out of respect for the topic, regardless of where they are. This respect is not simply afforded the speaker for his/her status but more importantly it is associated with the message s/he is about to deliver. It's clear then that modesty is a requirement where religious discourse is concerned and any religious speaker would have requested it.
Now, back to Moez. As young and charismatic and handsome as all the articles being written about him seem to begin by saying, he is still a religious figure. He's studied religion, he preaches religion, and he's trying so damn hard to make religion a part of the lives of youth. Out of all the preachers today, he has gone the furthest in trying to look for the loosest and yet most valid meanings and opinions in orthodox Islam. So when Moez actually speaks up and says something is not quite right, then have no doubt that he already has in mind the most lax interpretation without compromising on validity and authenticity. Below such a point, one is no longer looking for what is religiously valid but simply what their whims dictate to them at that moment.
For the past year, Moez has been outspoken with his motto of, "though you should hate the sin, you should never hate the sinner." In that vein, he's said that we have to hate the sin of homosexual activity, but not the homosexuals themselves. He's said music isn't haram (prohibited)—for there are other valid interpretations that allow it—and has, himself, released more than one song. His assistant that day (who for some reason Marwa begrudges Moez for having) is a screenwriter whose last movie was El-Gezira, and who entered the field with Moez's guidance and blessings. By offering these valid, looser interpretations, Moez has been accused by some of being a heretic. Anyone who has seen his shows, and more so anyone who knows him on a personal level, knows that this is not the person you accuse of being judgmental or hypocritical.
So to see Marwa try and dismiss the hassle Moez gets into for promoting such interpretations at his own cost by indulging in a vindictive character assassination doesn’t sit well with me. In fact, it grates on my nerves.
But back to the issue at hand. It is one such looser, yet valid interpretation that allows Moez to appear with women who have not covered their hair. It doesn't matter that Marwa, as she says, is "far from busty, sort of skinny, and kind of demure and frail looking." Again, Moez has already agreed to accept the opinion that modesty is alright even if the hair is uncovered so is it really too much to ask her to compromise on dress? After all, he is still a religious figure who has to maintain a certain standard when he delivers God's message.
Moez wasn't imposing anything on Marwa and didn't judge her because of what she was wearing; he simply upheld God's command that spirituality should manifest itself in one's physical appearance, male or female. Even the loosest interpretation of Shari'ah wouldn't accommodate her attire in this situation.
The mix up with her dress is an in-house issue, and not his fault, since the production team knew he was a religious figure who had pre-arranged a particular dress code to begin with. By highlighting to Marwa the consequences of carrying on with the episode as is, instead of focusing on her clothing’s incompatibility with spiritual principles, he was simply trying not to hurt her feelings. His other option was to tell her that her attire was not in line with God's command, which, under the circumstances of her being already visibly distraught, would have probably worsened the situation.
Personally, I don't think Moez had to apologize to her at all. If there's one misunderstanding that should have been cleared up, it would be the wrong impression she got that he was allowing what people think of him and his public image to dictate what he wanted her to wear. Obviously the only entity he's allowing to dictate to him is God; but with the aim of not insulting her, he may have gotten the wrong message across to her.
The last critique I have of Marwa's account is that unfortunately she herself is guilty of the very accusation she made against Moez: judgment. Let’s address some of her claims.
First of all, she alludes to the fact that Moez gave strict instructions against discussing certain topics, namely, sex, homosexuality, virginity, dating and Islamic legislation. She concludes from this that he has bowed to pressures from other religious figures who now dictate what topics he is willing to address. The truth of the matter is that Moez's only request (and one which he makes during all his appearances) was to exclude Islamic legislation or fatwa from the discussion as he is not qualified to answer such questions. Shame on him! If Marwa had bothered to watch his last show, The Right Path, she would have been pleasantly surprised to find all the aforementioned topics discussed.
Next, she said he tried to "score points" with a Christian colleague. How does she know that? Did she look into his heart? Isn't it possible he was simply trying to make the Christian woman feel included?
She then says Moez "allowed the gap between who he is and who he should be to grow wider." An unsubstantiated opinion—she knows who he is after meeting and listening to him for a mere 30 minutes?
She then accuses Moez of allowing his assistant to speak on his behalf. Um, he's his assistant? That's what they do?
Far from becoming the hypocrite who has been corrupted by fame, as Marwa states in her blog, Moez actually utilizes his fame to get a crucial message across to people: do not judge people based on their appearance. Marwa mistook his standing up for the loosest interpretation of God's command of dressing modestly (at least when in religious discourse) as him judging her character and that he did so because of fame. It still baffles me how she was able to conclude that this incident put her character into question in any way.
Ultimately, who is Marwa really brooding over? Moez, who worries about the consequences of his message and so had an agreement with the show to avoid such problems and who then apologized for her hurt feelings? Or the show's team members who failed to get the message across and in doing so jeopardized the very filming of that episode? Or is she simply brooding over God Who requires a certain degree of modesty particularly when He is the topic to be discussed?
In conclusion, I ask that Marwa do what Moez tried to do with her, which is to try and not be so narrow-minded. In the words of Metallica, who I know Moez likes to quote: "Open mind for a different view." So you have an opinion, great! But sticking so firmly to one side and refusing to bend the slightest will get you nowhere in life. It is so easy to jump onto the 'curse the preachers' bandwagon and brand everyone who speaks in the name of religion a hypocrite.
I've read your book. I know how you feel you have to stick up for every little thing or else you'll get steamrolled. But accusing someone who's doing so much good as being "as fake, as pretentious, as superficial, and as gutless as the rest of them" is not a light accusation—make sure it's true before you say it. And above all—don't start the music unless you're willing to dance.
Mass media is a wonderful thing. It gives everyone, qualified or not, the opportunity to air their concerns and worries to the world, whether it's their opinion regarding the Egyptian bread crisis or simply what they had for breakfast this morning.
But as a journalist, I know the importance of measuring my words, knowing the message I'm sending out to my readers, and thinking about the added value of what I've written. And if I'm writing an op-ed, I have to make sure it doesn't turn into pointless, biased, ranting, especially if I'm arguing for a case and trying to prove a point.
I bought The Poison Tree last week, and although I found the author, Marwa Rakha, slightly oversensitive and slightly exaggerative for my taste, I thought it was a good solid read with some perceptive insights into Egyptian society. And yesterday, I stumbled upon the author's rant about Moez Masoud—a young religious scholar—in Campus Magazine.
First off, let me say that I've known Moez for over a year, and I've worked with him for a large part of that year. So obviously, I'm going to be slightly biased. But since I've known him for a lot longer than Marwa has, I'm also more qualified to speak about his character, and I called him up after I read the piece to get his side of the story.
Brief summation of the incident that Marwa says brought her "shame and disgrace": She's one of a group of people in a show where Moez is the guest speaker. The wardrobe people give her an outfit to wear, which is unsuitable to wear in the presence of a religious figure. She's asked to change by a member of her own editorial team, who apparently wasn't very diplomatic. She gets upset. Seeing how upset she is, Moez takes her aside and apologizes even though neither of the two things that upset her were his fault, whether it was the religious standards being upheld or the insensitive way her team member dealt with it.
Now, I can't deny that this is an embarrassing incident. But a couple of points need to be borne in mind before we decide if the reaction is worth “a wave of numbness […] followed by a heat flush and an urge to cry […] anger and indignation." Firstly, and I know this first-hand, Moez discusses in advance with those in charge of any show the dress code of the episode he is about to appear on. He does this specifically so as to stay true to his message and what he believes in and also so as not to embarrass anyone when it is time to start filming. Secondly, the insensitive manner in which Marwa was approached was not of Moez's doing and in fact had nothing to do with him: again, it was solely the responsibility of her team member.
The issue of there being a dress code should really be a non-issue. Almost all TV shows have dress codes—whether the audience has to wear suits, jeans, or even swimsuits for that matter. You cannot violate the dress code, it's just not done.
Well, all religions dictate that women must be modestly covered in some way. Look at Mary's outfit in any nativity scene. She is wearing a scarf on her head and long, loose fitting clothes. Think this is all hype? Skim through to 1 Corinthians 11:5 in the New Testament and you will find this passage: “And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head - it is just as though her head were shaved.” Orthodox Jewish women have to cover their hair with the tichel, a piece of fabric. And similarly, Muslim women have to wear loose clothes and cover their skin and hair. Some people may disagree with this, but let's not digress and just assume that it is a universal, Abrahamic matter for (at least) certain religious figures to believe that modesty in attire goes hand-in-hand with spirituality.
So when people share the stage with a religious figure who is about to discuss religious matters, they cover themselves to a certain degree out of respect for the topic, regardless of where they are. This respect is not simply afforded the speaker for his/her status but more importantly it is associated with the message s/he is about to deliver. It's clear then that modesty is a requirement where religious discourse is concerned and any religious speaker would have requested it.
Now, back to Moez. As young and charismatic and handsome as all the articles being written about him seem to begin by saying, he is still a religious figure. He's studied religion, he preaches religion, and he's trying so damn hard to make religion a part of the lives of youth. Out of all the preachers today, he has gone the furthest in trying to look for the loosest and yet most valid meanings and opinions in orthodox Islam. So when Moez actually speaks up and says something is not quite right, then have no doubt that he already has in mind the most lax interpretation without compromising on validity and authenticity. Below such a point, one is no longer looking for what is religiously valid but simply what their whims dictate to them at that moment.
For the past year, Moez has been outspoken with his motto of, "though you should hate the sin, you should never hate the sinner." In that vein, he's said that we have to hate the sin of homosexual activity, but not the homosexuals themselves. He's said music isn't haram (prohibited)—for there are other valid interpretations that allow it—and has, himself, released more than one song. His assistant that day (who for some reason Marwa begrudges Moez for having) is a screenwriter whose last movie was El-Gezira, and who entered the field with Moez's guidance and blessings. By offering these valid, looser interpretations, Moez has been accused by some of being a heretic. Anyone who has seen his shows, and more so anyone who knows him on a personal level, knows that this is not the person you accuse of being judgmental or hypocritical.
So to see Marwa try and dismiss the hassle Moez gets into for promoting such interpretations at his own cost by indulging in a vindictive character assassination doesn’t sit well with me. In fact, it grates on my nerves.
But back to the issue at hand. It is one such looser, yet valid interpretation that allows Moez to appear with women who have not covered their hair. It doesn't matter that Marwa, as she says, is "far from busty, sort of skinny, and kind of demure and frail looking." Again, Moez has already agreed to accept the opinion that modesty is alright even if the hair is uncovered so is it really too much to ask her to compromise on dress? After all, he is still a religious figure who has to maintain a certain standard when he delivers God's message.
Moez wasn't imposing anything on Marwa and didn't judge her because of what she was wearing; he simply upheld God's command that spirituality should manifest itself in one's physical appearance, male or female. Even the loosest interpretation of Shari'ah wouldn't accommodate her attire in this situation.
The mix up with her dress is an in-house issue, and not his fault, since the production team knew he was a religious figure who had pre-arranged a particular dress code to begin with. By highlighting to Marwa the consequences of carrying on with the episode as is, instead of focusing on her clothing’s incompatibility with spiritual principles, he was simply trying not to hurt her feelings. His other option was to tell her that her attire was not in line with God's command, which, under the circumstances of her being already visibly distraught, would have probably worsened the situation.
Personally, I don't think Moez had to apologize to her at all. If there's one misunderstanding that should have been cleared up, it would be the wrong impression she got that he was allowing what people think of him and his public image to dictate what he wanted her to wear. Obviously the only entity he's allowing to dictate to him is God; but with the aim of not insulting her, he may have gotten the wrong message across to her.
The last critique I have of Marwa's account is that unfortunately she herself is guilty of the very accusation she made against Moez: judgment. Let’s address some of her claims.
First of all, she alludes to the fact that Moez gave strict instructions against discussing certain topics, namely, sex, homosexuality, virginity, dating and Islamic legislation. She concludes from this that he has bowed to pressures from other religious figures who now dictate what topics he is willing to address. The truth of the matter is that Moez's only request (and one which he makes during all his appearances) was to exclude Islamic legislation or fatwa from the discussion as he is not qualified to answer such questions. Shame on him! If Marwa had bothered to watch his last show, The Right Path, she would have been pleasantly surprised to find all the aforementioned topics discussed.
Next, she said he tried to "score points" with a Christian colleague. How does she know that? Did she look into his heart? Isn't it possible he was simply trying to make the Christian woman feel included?
She then says Moez "allowed the gap between who he is and who he should be to grow wider." An unsubstantiated opinion—she knows who he is after meeting and listening to him for a mere 30 minutes?
She then accuses Moez of allowing his assistant to speak on his behalf. Um, he's his assistant? That's what they do?
Far from becoming the hypocrite who has been corrupted by fame, as Marwa states in her blog, Moez actually utilizes his fame to get a crucial message across to people: do not judge people based on their appearance. Marwa mistook his standing up for the loosest interpretation of God's command of dressing modestly (at least when in religious discourse) as him judging her character and that he did so because of fame. It still baffles me how she was able to conclude that this incident put her character into question in any way.
Ultimately, who is Marwa really brooding over? Moez, who worries about the consequences of his message and so had an agreement with the show to avoid such problems and who then apologized for her hurt feelings? Or the show's team members who failed to get the message across and in doing so jeopardized the very filming of that episode? Or is she simply brooding over God Who requires a certain degree of modesty particularly when He is the topic to be discussed?
In conclusion, I ask that Marwa do what Moez tried to do with her, which is to try and not be so narrow-minded. In the words of Metallica, who I know Moez likes to quote: "Open mind for a different view." So you have an opinion, great! But sticking so firmly to one side and refusing to bend the slightest will get you nowhere in life. It is so easy to jump onto the 'curse the preachers' bandwagon and brand everyone who speaks in the name of religion a hypocrite.
I've read your book. I know how you feel you have to stick up for every little thing or else you'll get steamrolled. But accusing someone who's doing so much good as being "as fake, as pretentious, as superficial, and as gutless as the rest of them" is not a light accusation—make sure it's true before you say it. And above all—don't start the music unless you're willing to dance.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Food for the Soul
Yesterday was tough .. it is not out of my system yet .. but I guess it will take sometime.
I had a book signing event in a lovely compound in Sheikh Zayed on Thursday 3 April that was organized by "A New Book in the Market". One of the guests asked me to read outloud a certain part of my book ... I choked on tears twice as I read it ... I want to share it with you;
It was raining heavily and I do not like heavy rain. It was cloudy and grey and I do not like grey clouds. It was windy and cold and I do not like cold wind. I put a few drops of cranberry fragrance oil in my burner and lit the tiny candle underneath, took my laptop in my arms, sat on the sofa, threw a blanket over my legs, and got online. I decided to browse Egyptian blogs and bloggers to see who is writing what. I typed “Egypt” in the search box and I was redirected from one blog to the other until I found his page. I do not know what made me stop and read; his words emitted a sincere and genuine vibe that blended well with the warming scent of cranberry that filled the room.
He is a typical Egyptian guy – not my favorite – who has a typical Egyptian wife to whom he got married in a typical Egyptian way. They were leading a typical Egyptian life and they had no serious issues but for the every now and then character clashes between him and his wife. She had a free spirited genie locked within the bottle of the traditional Egyptian girl and she thought marriage will set the genie free. She pursued her love of nature in desert trips, safaris, and excursions, and he never understood her urges to sleep on the sand or to watch the sunrise from a boat. Nevertheless, they reached some sort of an agreement whereby she can have her breaks when he said that it was ok.
Gihan went blind; she lost her eyesight all of a sudden and the doctors said that it was a rare case. My eyes watered as I read Ahmed’s lines: “My 25 year old wife will never see the nature she loved again.” He went on describing how she got depressed, shut him out, wanted a divorce, wanted him to remarry, quit her job, isolated herself, neglected her friends, and just gave up on life. There were a lot of tears between his lines and there were a lot of tears running down my cheeks. I could not even begin to imagine walking the famous mile in her shoes, or in his shoes. On her birthday, he nearly forced her to get dressed to go out and, to spare her the discomfort of being around people, he took her for a long cruise in a felluca.
Gihan asked Ahmed to lend her his eyes; she wanted him to tell her what he saw. He began talking about the scenery and she began asking him detailed questions. She wanted him to describe the sky; its shades of blue, the birds, the clouds, and the buildings in the horizon. She needed to know the color of the sun at the moment and he understood that orange is not a solid color. She asked him to tell her what he saw in the water and he learned the power of reflections. Gihan was the one who lost her sight, yet she was the one who lent Ahmed her eyes. For the first time he saw what she saw in nature and for the first time they enjoyed nature’s beauty together.
His words came to a full stop and my day came to an end. Ahmed and Gihan were in my dreams all night, and when I woke up in the morning I did not jump out of bed. I did not run around the house trying to get myself in the car to go to the office. I sat in bed and smiled at my cats, slowly reached out to the curtains, pulled them away, opened my window, and watched the sunbeams smile back at me. Their light filled my room and their warmth filled my heart. I reached out to my cats and for the first time I felt their soft fur; before, I used to touch them but that day I felt the warmth and the beauty of something that is beyond words – something that I took for granted.
What else did I take for granted? Who else did I archive unintentionally? What other signs did I miss on the way? What more could I not see? What did I never have the time to do because I was so busy? Who did I never had the time to meet because I had other priorities? I got a cup of tea and sat back in bed and enjoyed a lovely new beginning to my morning. Eventually I got myself out of the house and drove to work; I decided to take a different route. I wanted to see new things and I reminded myself of how lucky I was to be able to look at such beauty. I am lucky to have the heart to enjoy it and I am blessed to be able to feel it. I am eternally grateful to Ahmed and Gehan – two people that I never met. The smile lasted that whole day, the day after, and many days that followed.
New beginnings are always loaded with many contradictory feelings; hope, fear, optimism, doubt, resolution, skepticism, comfort, hesitation, and determination. The skeletons in the closet and collective experiences are a threat to new beginnings. Regret, or the fear of regret, weighs heavily on our hearts as we try to embrace the sunshine. We remember when we were last burnt or when we were last hurt, and we subconsciously look at our scars. Memories of how deep and how painful they were rush back to our heads, and with an involuntary movement we clench our fists as though we are holding on to the past. Something inside of us refuses to let go and that very same thing resists the change – the new beginning.
The tree will shed its old dry corrupted infected leaves and will grow new soft fresh green leaves. I will slow down and enjoy the drive rather than the destination. I will take off my masks, let my hair down, face the sun, smile, and breathe. I will borrow Gihan’s eyes and, from now onwards, I will use them to carefully watch what I used to carelessly look at; to deeply look at what I used to superficially see; to simply see what I simply never saw. “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. It comes in to us at midnight very clean. It is perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands and hopes we've learnt something from yesterday." --John Wayne
I had a book signing event in a lovely compound in Sheikh Zayed on Thursday 3 April that was organized by "A New Book in the Market". One of the guests asked me to read outloud a certain part of my book ... I choked on tears twice as I read it ... I want to share it with you;
It was raining heavily and I do not like heavy rain. It was cloudy and grey and I do not like grey clouds. It was windy and cold and I do not like cold wind. I put a few drops of cranberry fragrance oil in my burner and lit the tiny candle underneath, took my laptop in my arms, sat on the sofa, threw a blanket over my legs, and got online. I decided to browse Egyptian blogs and bloggers to see who is writing what. I typed “Egypt” in the search box and I was redirected from one blog to the other until I found his page. I do not know what made me stop and read; his words emitted a sincere and genuine vibe that blended well with the warming scent of cranberry that filled the room.
He is a typical Egyptian guy – not my favorite – who has a typical Egyptian wife to whom he got married in a typical Egyptian way. They were leading a typical Egyptian life and they had no serious issues but for the every now and then character clashes between him and his wife. She had a free spirited genie locked within the bottle of the traditional Egyptian girl and she thought marriage will set the genie free. She pursued her love of nature in desert trips, safaris, and excursions, and he never understood her urges to sleep on the sand or to watch the sunrise from a boat. Nevertheless, they reached some sort of an agreement whereby she can have her breaks when he said that it was ok.
Gihan went blind; she lost her eyesight all of a sudden and the doctors said that it was a rare case. My eyes watered as I read Ahmed’s lines: “My 25 year old wife will never see the nature she loved again.” He went on describing how she got depressed, shut him out, wanted a divorce, wanted him to remarry, quit her job, isolated herself, neglected her friends, and just gave up on life. There were a lot of tears between his lines and there were a lot of tears running down my cheeks. I could not even begin to imagine walking the famous mile in her shoes, or in his shoes. On her birthday, he nearly forced her to get dressed to go out and, to spare her the discomfort of being around people, he took her for a long cruise in a felluca.
Gihan asked Ahmed to lend her his eyes; she wanted him to tell her what he saw. He began talking about the scenery and she began asking him detailed questions. She wanted him to describe the sky; its shades of blue, the birds, the clouds, and the buildings in the horizon. She needed to know the color of the sun at the moment and he understood that orange is not a solid color. She asked him to tell her what he saw in the water and he learned the power of reflections. Gihan was the one who lost her sight, yet she was the one who lent Ahmed her eyes. For the first time he saw what she saw in nature and for the first time they enjoyed nature’s beauty together.
His words came to a full stop and my day came to an end. Ahmed and Gihan were in my dreams all night, and when I woke up in the morning I did not jump out of bed. I did not run around the house trying to get myself in the car to go to the office. I sat in bed and smiled at my cats, slowly reached out to the curtains, pulled them away, opened my window, and watched the sunbeams smile back at me. Their light filled my room and their warmth filled my heart. I reached out to my cats and for the first time I felt their soft fur; before, I used to touch them but that day I felt the warmth and the beauty of something that is beyond words – something that I took for granted.
What else did I take for granted? Who else did I archive unintentionally? What other signs did I miss on the way? What more could I not see? What did I never have the time to do because I was so busy? Who did I never had the time to meet because I had other priorities? I got a cup of tea and sat back in bed and enjoyed a lovely new beginning to my morning. Eventually I got myself out of the house and drove to work; I decided to take a different route. I wanted to see new things and I reminded myself of how lucky I was to be able to look at such beauty. I am lucky to have the heart to enjoy it and I am blessed to be able to feel it. I am eternally grateful to Ahmed and Gehan – two people that I never met. The smile lasted that whole day, the day after, and many days that followed.
New beginnings are always loaded with many contradictory feelings; hope, fear, optimism, doubt, resolution, skepticism, comfort, hesitation, and determination. The skeletons in the closet and collective experiences are a threat to new beginnings. Regret, or the fear of regret, weighs heavily on our hearts as we try to embrace the sunshine. We remember when we were last burnt or when we were last hurt, and we subconsciously look at our scars. Memories of how deep and how painful they were rush back to our heads, and with an involuntary movement we clench our fists as though we are holding on to the past. Something inside of us refuses to let go and that very same thing resists the change – the new beginning.
The tree will shed its old dry corrupted infected leaves and will grow new soft fresh green leaves. I will slow down and enjoy the drive rather than the destination. I will take off my masks, let my hair down, face the sun, smile, and breathe. I will borrow Gihan’s eyes and, from now onwards, I will use them to carefully watch what I used to carelessly look at; to deeply look at what I used to superficially see; to simply see what I simply never saw. “Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. It comes in to us at midnight very clean. It is perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands and hopes we've learnt something from yesterday." --John Wayne
Sunday, April 6, 2008
From Sharkawy's Finacee
last night was almost ordinary.. I went to my workout class and had a nice dinner with my fiance.. After a night of sleep interupted several times by very disturbing dreams.. I woke up to find that my fiance was kidnapped by the so called security forces - i'd rather call them the self preservation forces, given how secure we, the egyptians feel!!- while he was changing the flat tyre of my car.. I went -like any decent citizen- to the police station to report the incident.. Only to get a confirmation beyond doubt that this country is no place for decent citizens.. The esteemed officer refused reporting the incident on my behalf.. Insisted on going off topic.. Tried every stupid way that he learned to intimidate me and scare me off.. And -exactly as expected- offered me a dead end with a stupid smile on his face!.. Until that moment i was in trauma.. I haven't realized it till i got home to find a note that my fiance left me.. Telling me that he loves me.. Asking me to take good care of myself and be strong.. Was he feeling endangered?.. Did he know what was going to happen deep inside?.. Only then did i come to my senses and realized what was really happening.. I felt angry.. Frustrated.. And devastated.. There's nothing that i can do at this point and it feels like my hands are tied behind my back.. This is disgusting.. Inhumane.. And brutal.. As i sit here writing about it.. I feel even more helpless.. While the question keeps banging inside my head.. What becomes of us?.. What becomes of this?!!To be continued...
Free Sharkawy .. Free Egypt
I never thought that there would come a day when I would write anything with political inclination ... I was never interested!!!!!!
OK .. it is the 6th of April ... so what?!!! People are on strike!!! .. Who Cares?... Certainly not me!!
I woke up today .. like I wake up on any other day ... got my tea ... and my laptop ... then I got a call from Sandmonkey that my publisher has been arrested ... yeah right ... the cynical monkey joking!!!
An hour later JSC announced the names of those who were arrested ... Mohamed El Sharkawy has been arrested!!!
I called his finacee. In tears she told me what happened ... early that morning he stopped by her house to pick up something he left there and the taxi waited downstairs. Sharkawy told her that she had a flat tyre and that he was going to change it. The next thing she knew was the taxi driver screaming in the street "amn el dawla khatafo Sharkawy" - State security kidnapped Sharkawy.
Four private cars - mallaky ya3ni - and three motorcycles stopped under their building and 20 people got out and "kidnapped him"!!! ... they also took his fiancee's car keys so she would not follow them!!!
She went to report it in the Sheikh Zayed police station .... they refused to file a report!!!
WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is my publisher ... he started a new business ... he found a new way to voice his opinion ... he was just starting ... he is gone!!!!!!!!!
I do not know how to feel ... I am partly angry .. shocked .. resentful .. and scared.
As an Egyptian I am provoked .. As a writer I am pissed ... As a human being I am offended and ashamed of YOU .. ashamed of Egypt!!
Blurb:
I am sitting now at home next to Mohamed El Sharkawy's fiancee ... we have no clue where he is .... she is sitting there looking all helpless and frustrated ...
"Whatever happened to new beginnings? Whatever happened to second chances? He knew they were going to come after him .. he felt it .. he told me that he will be arrested ... he left me a note asking me not to worry and to be strong" she said
What are they expecting? Is that a way to deal with anger? Is that a way to deal with our countrymen? In all my posts I have called for independence, dignity, pride, and character .... how could anyone raise his head up high and walk like an Egyptian? I know that Sharkawy will go home tonight or tomorrow .... but what kind of person will he be? Defeated? Ashamed? Oppressed? Livid? Resentful? Negative?
And here I am .. calling for a better life, better love, better relationships, and better future ... bala nila!!!!! PS I just heard on JSC that the Egyptian government said that people did not go to work/ universities/ schools today because of bad weather conditions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update:
خبر صحفى من مركز هشام مبارك للقانوناصدر مركز هشام مبارك العديد من البيانات والوثائق عشية بدء احتجاجات 6/4/2008 منها نداء موجه للزميلات والزملاء المحامين تسجيل بياناتهم للتطوع دفاعاعن حقوق المواطنين المصريين http://hmlc.katib.org/node/167ونداء لمواطنيين لاستفادة من هذه القائمةhttp://hmlc.katib.org/كما اعد المركز بعض الدفوع القانونية التى قد تكون مفيدة على الموقع التالى http://hmlc.katib.org/node/165وسبق للمركز اصدار بيان بهذا المعنى موجه للمواطن العادى بيان مشروعية الاضراب http://hmlc.katib.org/node/162كما نشر المركز النص الكامل لحكم البراءة فى قضية اضراب سائقى السكك الحديدية لاهميته فى هذه المناسبة http://hmlc.katib.org/node/156
OK .. it is the 6th of April ... so what?!!! People are on strike!!! .. Who Cares?... Certainly not me!!
I woke up today .. like I wake up on any other day ... got my tea ... and my laptop ... then I got a call from Sandmonkey that my publisher has been arrested ... yeah right ... the cynical monkey joking!!!
An hour later JSC announced the names of those who were arrested ... Mohamed El Sharkawy has been arrested!!!
I called his finacee. In tears she told me what happened ... early that morning he stopped by her house to pick up something he left there and the taxi waited downstairs. Sharkawy told her that she had a flat tyre and that he was going to change it. The next thing she knew was the taxi driver screaming in the street "amn el dawla khatafo Sharkawy" - State security kidnapped Sharkawy.
Four private cars - mallaky ya3ni - and three motorcycles stopped under their building and 20 people got out and "kidnapped him"!!! ... they also took his fiancee's car keys so she would not follow them!!!
She went to report it in the Sheikh Zayed police station .... they refused to file a report!!!
WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is my publisher ... he started a new business ... he found a new way to voice his opinion ... he was just starting ... he is gone!!!!!!!!!
I do not know how to feel ... I am partly angry .. shocked .. resentful .. and scared.
As an Egyptian I am provoked .. As a writer I am pissed ... As a human being I am offended and ashamed of YOU .. ashamed of Egypt!!
Blurb:
I am sitting now at home next to Mohamed El Sharkawy's fiancee ... we have no clue where he is .... she is sitting there looking all helpless and frustrated ...
"Whatever happened to new beginnings? Whatever happened to second chances? He knew they were going to come after him .. he felt it .. he told me that he will be arrested ... he left me a note asking me not to worry and to be strong" she said
What are they expecting? Is that a way to deal with anger? Is that a way to deal with our countrymen? In all my posts I have called for independence, dignity, pride, and character .... how could anyone raise his head up high and walk like an Egyptian? I know that Sharkawy will go home tonight or tomorrow .... but what kind of person will he be? Defeated? Ashamed? Oppressed? Livid? Resentful? Negative?
And here I am .. calling for a better life, better love, better relationships, and better future ... bala nila!!!!! PS I just heard on JSC that the Egyptian government said that people did not go to work/ universities/ schools today because of bad weather conditions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update:
خبر صحفى من مركز هشام مبارك للقانوناصدر مركز هشام مبارك العديد من البيانات والوثائق عشية بدء احتجاجات 6/4/2008 منها نداء موجه للزميلات والزملاء المحامين تسجيل بياناتهم للتطوع دفاعاعن حقوق المواطنين المصريين http://hmlc.katib.org/node/167ونداء لمواطنيين لاستفادة من هذه القائمةhttp://hmlc.katib.org/كما اعد المركز بعض الدفوع القانونية التى قد تكون مفيدة على الموقع التالى http://hmlc.katib.org/node/165وسبق للمركز اصدار بيان بهذا المعنى موجه للمواطن العادى بيان مشروعية الاضراب http://hmlc.katib.org/node/162كما نشر المركز النص الكامل لحكم البراءة فى قضية اضراب سائقى السكك الحديدية لاهميته فى هذه المناسبة http://hmlc.katib.org/node/156
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