Dear Man ... I Need My Space

Dear MAN ... my dear MAN ...

Right now
I want to scream without you telling me how loud.
I want to laugh without you telling me how low.
I want to run without you telling me how far.
I want to sin without you telling me how wrong.
I want to love without you telling me how deep.
I want to fly without you telling me how high.
I want to cry without you telling me how long.
I want to be me without you telling me in what form.

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Did you just get dumped?

The deadline was approaching and I had no clue what I was going to write about this issue; Rola wanted something light to go with the laid back summer spirit and fun vacations. I thought of summer flings but I was not very enthusiastic about the idea. I waited and waited until I was finally rewarded ... I got dumped ... now I have something to write about! I kid you not this is exactly what happened and instead of curling up in bed and crying my eyes out I decided to abuse my abused heart and make a fun feature out of my not-so-funny experience.

I have not been dumped in a while - not because I have been a good girl but rather because I have been avoiding exclusive relationships and commitment. People came and went but my emotional stability was intact. Until some vain streak took over and I thought that I was ready for giving my all to one person. Deluded me thought that I grew immune to being dumped - why would any man in his right mind dump a girl like me? Other than the looks and the brains, I do not nag, far from clingy, a good listener, supportive, understanding, and could be fun.

The dumping scenario triggered my long history of messed up relationships and I decided to list for you the top ten repetitive lines a man says when he is hesitating or when he is walking away - be it in the very beginning of the relationship or at any stage:

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Tales from an Egyptian Household - The Driver

I do not know why I chose to share that particular incident with you; it is very personal, very embarrassing, and very disturbing. I am not sure how you will view me or what you will think of me now. Part of me wants to write a jolly piece on summer but a bigger part of me wants to write about my first encounter with sexual harassment. I am just a middle class Egyptian girl who, like many other girls, was taught to bury her head in the sand.

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Hey you .. yes you!!!

Hey you ...
Yes you ...
My dear reader ...
Please do not get offended ...
Please forgive me for what I am about to say ...
I am writing this article because of you ...
I am mad at you ...
Sitting there flipping though the pages of this magazine ...
Why do I always see you defeated in my dreams?
Why do you always come to me on mute?
Why do you always move in slow motion?
I am so angry at you for watching in silence as the world goes by.


I dreamt that you were checked into a hospital and in my dream you had neither power to talk nor strength to walk. You could see, hear, and feel everything but you had no voice ... you could not say no to what they were going to do to you. On that bed you lay and there comes the pious doctor with his blade ... I could see you trying to resist ... trying to say that this procedure was against your will and beliefs ... you were trying to break free ... but yes you had no voice. In a minute of eternity, colored in shades of pain, tears, and silent screams, you were cut ... your womanhood was mutilated forever. May you rest in peace! Hey you ... yes you ... How have you supported incriminating the practice of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) whereby the parents as well as the doctors should get punished?

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The Statue

Standing tall on a pedestal so high
Judged or crowned with your every sigh
Shivering in the cold .. all alone
Taking the heat .. your sins I atone
Facing the wind or leaving a mark
Hiding the cracks in the dark
Raising a torch .. hailing the sun
Dear man .. put down your gun
The statue of liberty I am .. for liberty is my cause.

Posing in a secret garden of pleasure
I see you eyeing my hidden treasure
Staring at my sculpture whenever you can
Bragging that you are not my fan
Forgetting that I am for real
Forgetting ... how real I am
Reaching out to you .. please let me be
Reaching out to you .. oblivious you are to me
I am Aphrodite ... kneel before me.

Abandoned in a crowded square
Watching common brown birds circling my hair
The crows I scare away
The vultures are here to prey
Tired of their shrieks I turn a deaf ear
Their dump and dung I know I fear
Observing them as they come and go
Writing the end of the men I know
I am just a statue in a story
Turn the page .. this is my glory.