Chapter 10 – The “good guy” you deserve
1) As long as he comes home in the end, he can do as he pleases.
2) As long as he feeds you, keep your mouth shut.
3) He can force you to stay home – you never had a career anyway.
4) He can boss you around – you never had an opinion, so why complain now?
5) He can be as disrespectful as he wants, and you can cry as much as you want.
6) He can beat you up for every white lie he discovered.
7) He is fully entitled to isolate you from the female friends you never had.
8) A “good guy” is jealous; you will never get to wear your stashed wardrobe.
9) He will never tarnish your innocence and take you dancing; he will have a girlfriend to escort him.
10) If you give birth to a baby girl, he will make sure she is brought up as a “good girl”!
Conclusion:
I proudly announce that, over the past 10 years, I have managed to convert from being a “good girl” to a “bad girl”.
Friday, February 2, 2007
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 9
Chapter 9 – Absolute NOs
1) Drinking is totally unacceptable – it is always your first sip.
2) Girls with a tattoo are bad – have yours in a hidden place.
3) Girls with a belly piercing are loose – hide yours but talk about it.
4) You always have a curfew – it is always the first time you’ve missed it.
5) Dancing is for “bad girls”, “good girls” stare and curl their lips.
6) “Good girls” never go to bars or pubs – it is always your first time.
7) Love? Every man you meet is your first, and last, love!
8) Sex? What sex?
9) Internet dating; a “good girl” always rises above such obscenities.
10) Strength, brains, independence, career, and a life are male-repellents.
1) Drinking is totally unacceptable – it is always your first sip.
2) Girls with a tattoo are bad – have yours in a hidden place.
3) Girls with a belly piercing are loose – hide yours but talk about it.
4) You always have a curfew – it is always the first time you’ve missed it.
5) Dancing is for “bad girls”, “good girls” stare and curl their lips.
6) “Good girls” never go to bars or pubs – it is always your first time.
7) Love? Every man you meet is your first, and last, love!
8) Sex? What sex?
9) Internet dating; a “good girl” always rises above such obscenities.
10) Strength, brains, independence, career, and a life are male-repellents.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 8
Chapter 8 – Your weapons
1) Tears will get you out of absolutely anything.
2) Apologies will erase any opinion you might have accidentally voiced.
3) Blindfolds; put them on and rest in peace.
4) Mouth gags are a great tool to keep your mouth shut when hurt and if insulted.
5) Your back; turn it to anyone who needs help and you will never get in trouble.
6) Put on a sad face and you will always be the adorable center of attention.
7) Put on the lost princess look and a savior is bound to show up.
8) White lies were created to make you prettier.
9) Black lies were created to make your man happier.
10) A veil will give you immunity – put it on and do as you please.
1) Tears will get you out of absolutely anything.
2) Apologies will erase any opinion you might have accidentally voiced.
3) Blindfolds; put them on and rest in peace.
4) Mouth gags are a great tool to keep your mouth shut when hurt and if insulted.
5) Your back; turn it to anyone who needs help and you will never get in trouble.
6) Put on a sad face and you will always be the adorable center of attention.
7) Put on the lost princess look and a savior is bound to show up.
8) White lies were created to make you prettier.
9) Black lies were created to make your man happier.
10) A veil will give you immunity – put it on and do as you please.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 7
Chapter 7 – Your career
1) The sole purpose of working is to meet Mr. Right.
2) Avoid careers; “good guys” do not appreciate them.
3) Get a job that gives you minimum exposure and zero fulfillment.
4) A promotion is not an achievement; finding a man is.
5) A trip abroad is never good news.
6) Be a friend to all.
7) “Good girls” do not talk to their male colleagues.
8) If you have to talk to them, make it strictly professional.
9) Your male boss and colleagues are werewolves in disguise.
10) Your female boss and colleagues are always jealous – poor you!
1) The sole purpose of working is to meet Mr. Right.
2) Avoid careers; “good guys” do not appreciate them.
3) Get a job that gives you minimum exposure and zero fulfillment.
4) A promotion is not an achievement; finding a man is.
5) A trip abroad is never good news.
6) Be a friend to all.
7) “Good girls” do not talk to their male colleagues.
8) If you have to talk to them, make it strictly professional.
9) Your male boss and colleagues are werewolves in disguise.
10) Your female boss and colleagues are always jealous – poor you!
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 6
Chapter 6 – Your character
1) Have no character; be as colorless as possible.
2) “Good girls” are modest; stifle your self-esteem.
3) Be soft and mild to attract a “good guy”
4) You are obedient to the bone.
5) Have no aspirations; you were born to be a mother and a wife.
6) If you have aspirations; they are family obligations not your choice.
7) Public displays and private affairs should be kept miles apart.
8) You have a selective version of Alzheimer’s – use it when cornered.
9) Being illusive will make you more desirable.
10) Being a double-faced hypocrite will make you more mysterious.
1) Have no character; be as colorless as possible.
2) “Good girls” are modest; stifle your self-esteem.
3) Be soft and mild to attract a “good guy”
4) You are obedient to the bone.
5) Have no aspirations; you were born to be a mother and a wife.
6) If you have aspirations; they are family obligations not your choice.
7) Public displays and private affairs should be kept miles apart.
8) You have a selective version of Alzheimer’s – use it when cornered.
9) Being illusive will make you more desirable.
10) Being a double-faced hypocrite will make you more mysterious.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 5
Chapter 5 – Your opinions
1) Have no opinions what so ever.
2) If you have an opinion, keep it to yourself.
3) If you happen to have brains, hide them – brains scare “good guys”.
4) Go with the flow; if they hate miniskirts, then you’ve never seen one.
5) Thinking is bad for your health.
6) If you really surly truly have to disagree, agree first.
7) No matter what, avoid having any opinions on sex, religion, politics, independence, women, men, life, and death.
8) “I aim to please” – repeat it and act upon it.
9) You’ve always wanted to get married to a guy like your dad.
10) You’ve always wanted to be like your mother when you grew up.
1) Have no opinions what so ever.
2) If you have an opinion, keep it to yourself.
3) If you happen to have brains, hide them – brains scare “good guys”.
4) Go with the flow; if they hate miniskirts, then you’ve never seen one.
5) Thinking is bad for your health.
6) If you really surly truly have to disagree, agree first.
7) No matter what, avoid having any opinions on sex, religion, politics, independence, women, men, life, and death.
8) “I aim to please” – repeat it and act upon it.
9) You’ve always wanted to get married to a guy like your dad.
10) You’ve always wanted to be like your mother when you grew up.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 4
Chapter 4 – The sisters
1) Always be seen in the company of other “good girls”.
2) Never tell a “good girl” a secret; she will blackmail you.
3) Never introduce a “good girl” to a potential guy; she will innocently hit on him.
4) Never cry in front of a “good girl”; she will bring it up again to hurt you.
5) Never talk to a “good girl” who is turning into a “bad girl”.
6) Be a diplomat; anything you say will be used against you.
7) Be a nun; forgive, forget, and never tell.
8) Be an idiot; nerds never threatened anyone.
9) If you have an urge to talk about sex, it is never you; it is always about “one of those girls”.
10) Never call another “good girl” a bad name in her face – you can say anything you want behind her back.
1) Always be seen in the company of other “good girls”.
2) Never tell a “good girl” a secret; she will blackmail you.
3) Never introduce a “good girl” to a potential guy; she will innocently hit on him.
4) Never cry in front of a “good girl”; she will bring it up again to hurt you.
5) Never talk to a “good girl” who is turning into a “bad girl”.
6) Be a diplomat; anything you say will be used against you.
7) Be a nun; forgive, forget, and never tell.
8) Be an idiot; nerds never threatened anyone.
9) If you have an urge to talk about sex, it is never you; it is always about “one of those girls”.
10) Never call another “good girl” a bad name in her face – you can say anything you want behind her back.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 3
Chapter 3 – the epitome of innocence
1) Avoid talking to guys – if possible.
2) Talk to them while standing up – to give the impression that it is a casual chat.
3) Sit with a guy in groups only – you are a “good girl”, remember that.
4) Never get involved with a guy.
5) Hide it if you do.
6) Lie about it if you are asked.
7) Deny it forever when it is over.
8) Never hold hands in public.
9) Do anything you want in private.
10) No matter what, you are always a virgin and you do not know how babies are made.
1) Avoid talking to guys – if possible.
2) Talk to them while standing up – to give the impression that it is a casual chat.
3) Sit with a guy in groups only – you are a “good girl”, remember that.
4) Never get involved with a guy.
5) Hide it if you do.
6) Lie about it if you are asked.
7) Deny it forever when it is over.
8) Never hold hands in public.
9) Do anything you want in private.
10) No matter what, you are always a virgin and you do not know how babies are made.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS - Chapter 2
Chapter 2 – Watch your manners
1) Speak in a low decent tone regardless of how low and indecent your words are.
2) Laughing out loud in public is not becoming of a “good girl”.
3) Keep your legs closed and close to one another in public.
4) If you do otherwise, with your legs, in private, always say it is the first time.
5) Smile at all times – it makes you look authentic.
6) Avoiding eye-contact does not make you a liar, it just makes you shy.
7) Learn from Halle Berry; the look but don’t touch attitude flies well.
8) A “good girl” never ever smokes – in the bathroom is fine.
9) Shishas & lollipops are out of the question – “good guys” are quite imaginative.
10) Table manners dictate that you should eat in silence and smile when necessary.
1) Speak in a low decent tone regardless of how low and indecent your words are.
2) Laughing out loud in public is not becoming of a “good girl”.
3) Keep your legs closed and close to one another in public.
4) If you do otherwise, with your legs, in private, always say it is the first time.
5) Smile at all times – it makes you look authentic.
6) Avoiding eye-contact does not make you a liar, it just makes you shy.
7) Learn from Halle Berry; the look but don’t touch attitude flies well.
8) A “good girl” never ever smokes – in the bathroom is fine.
9) Shishas & lollipops are out of the question – “good guys” are quite imaginative.
10) Table manners dictate that you should eat in silence and smile when necessary.
100 “GOOD GIRL” TIPS
Introduction:
Being a “good girl” in our society is not exactly rocket science. If you are over 18, use these tips to strengthen your social positioning and to polish your image, if and whenever needed.
Chapter 1 – The dull doll look
1) Have a wardrobe of cute girly, or tom-boyish, outfits for family visits – they will never notice you growing up.
2) Have a stash of sexy tops to go with your hidden ultra low rise jeans for hanging out purposes – great disguise.
3) Curly hair is a sign of wildness; straighten it to give you an innocent look or cover it for the ultimate trustworthy look.
4) If you add a few blond streaks, always make it sound like the stupid hairdresser’s mistake.
5) Use lip gloss and pout.
6) Use volumizing mascara and flutter your lashes.
7) Try natural color blush to give you the needed flush.
8) Invest in a great concealer to hide your pores, your age, and your imperfections.
9) Gaze into an imaginary line behind whoever you are talking to for a super dull look.
10) If you are tempted to straighten your back and show off you femininity, remember that you are a heap of bones wrapped up in fat and covered with flawed skin.
Being a “good girl” in our society is not exactly rocket science. If you are over 18, use these tips to strengthen your social positioning and to polish your image, if and whenever needed.
Chapter 1 – The dull doll look
1) Have a wardrobe of cute girly, or tom-boyish, outfits for family visits – they will never notice you growing up.
2) Have a stash of sexy tops to go with your hidden ultra low rise jeans for hanging out purposes – great disguise.
3) Curly hair is a sign of wildness; straighten it to give you an innocent look or cover it for the ultimate trustworthy look.
4) If you add a few blond streaks, always make it sound like the stupid hairdresser’s mistake.
5) Use lip gloss and pout.
6) Use volumizing mascara and flutter your lashes.
7) Try natural color blush to give you the needed flush.
8) Invest in a great concealer to hide your pores, your age, and your imperfections.
9) Gaze into an imaginary line behind whoever you are talking to for a super dull look.
10) If you are tempted to straighten your back and show off you femininity, remember that you are a heap of bones wrapped up in fat and covered with flawed skin.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Tic Toc … It’s the Biological Clock! - Conclusion
Audrey Hepburn shared with women her age-defying beauty tips saying “For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find them at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” Having spoken my mind, the single girls were silent and pensive, and the single guys were silent and attentive – I rested my case and my soup was cold.
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