I am speechless.
My face is expressionless.
My eyes are wide open.
My mind is blank.
I am guilty of despair.
In my book despair is a deadly sin.
Facebook is to blame … I am still speechless!
Why? I will tell you why!
Because of my long history of writing about relationships, men, women, and society, because of my book, and because of my TV appearances, I have earned a place to be coveted in a lot of peoples’ hearts. People come to me for advice or to vent, and they know that I will never judge them no matter how ugly or horrible their story turns out to be. I needed to listen to their ailments to cure mine - But there was a price.
Willingly, I had to give up my privacy; my facebook account, my mobile number, my home phone, and at times my home itself. I cannot ignore a friend request from someone I did not know because I chose to be down to earth and accessible. A lot of people appreciated and respected my decision and ended up being my support group and online friends. Other people ended up being writing material.
Friday, June 20, 2008
HUH?
Monday, June 16, 2008
By Law, a Muslim Man will not marry more than one Woman
Hoda Rashwan of Al Masry Al Youm newspaper wrote:
"The National Democratic Party (NDP) began intensive internal discussions of the personal status law, while women's rights organizations called for restricting polygamy, canceling divorce in absentia and granting custom-married women equal rights as regular wives.
NDP Women's Secretariat President Dr. Hoda Rashad told al-Masry al-Youm that the draft law would be presented for public discussion and that comments by women's associations would be considered. She said the draft covers all marriage stages, including betrothal, divorce and the rights of each party."
Why am I not laughing when the new personal status law is about to define the boundaries of marriage starting from engagement - yes they will dictate the appropriate decorum in this phase - to marriage pillars, rules, dowry, divorce, polygamy, and alimony.
Let me tell you why ... because I can easily see where this is going
Ok ...
Here is the MB's arguments ... I can already hear their husky voices reciting verses from Qura'an and quoting Prophet Mohammed. I can see them hopping between the words as they skip the lines that do not suit their notions saying:
Saturday, June 14, 2008
"Beware of Egyptian Men," says the Canadian Embassy
Wandering Scarab - an Egyptian girl living in Canada - prior to her last visit to Egypt, decided to visit the Canadian Consulate website to register with the consulate in Egypt just in case her Canadian husband or her baby girl needed assistance with travel or local authorities. What she read on the site was appalling and ended up in her writing this post.
Women, particularly foreign women, are frequently subject to unpleasant male attention, sexual harassment, and verbal abuse. This often takes the form of staring, inappropriate remarks, catcalls, and touching. The Department publishes a booklet entitled Her Own Way: A Woman's Guide to Safe and Successful Travel. Its prime objective is to inform Canadian women and encourage them to travel safely.
There are reports of female Canadian citizens being forced into marriage without their prior knowledge or consent. Parents, relatives and the community may use relentless pressure and emotional blackmail, threatening behavior, abduction, imprisonment and physical violence to coerce young people to enter into marriage. While both men and women experience forced marriages, it is a form of violence most commonly perpetrated against women. They have been unable to return to Canada, and their passports and money have been retained by family members.
Walk Like an Egyptian ... Marry Like an Egyptian
One particular post about Egyptian women getting married to foreign men caught my attention.
In her post about The Whores, Ghawayesh starts by saying:
"Times are changing and many ‘respected' families have come to accept the fact that their daughters can make their own choices of choosing to marry whoever they want, if they EVER CHOOSE to marry, which is also a new trend in Egypt."
She then explains an interesting fact about the psyche of Egyptian males who falsely believe
"that they are superior to males of other nationalities. When an Egyptian male opts for a foreign wife, then he's a winner and a stud and God's gift to her and she should be so thankful for his eternal tantrums and malignant ego. And their children are the most beautiful in the whole wide extended family only because their mommy is Blondie and so they are!"
From the Diary of a Sinister Egyptian Spinster
Back in March 2008, Eman Hashim wrote a post [Ar] questioning why do Muslim Egyptian women need a "wakeel" - a man who has to sign her off to her husband. Let me give you a bit more insight here: unlike western cultures where the father gives away the bride as a jest of his approval and blessing, in Islam the marriage is "flawed" if the father, or the uncle if the father is deceased, has to speak on the bride's behalf through out all the paperwork and marriage procedures. Many sheikhs frown upon the thought of a girl - especially one who has never been married before and who is supposedly a virgin - marrying herself away.
The Victimization of Egyptian Women and Children
In a not-so-rare scenario in Egypt, the man has the right to beat his wife and children as much and as severely as he wishes and no criminal charges can be filed against him - unless one of them dies as a result of this beating. Why?
"Because some crazy sadistic men have claimed that this is an authorized tool for disciplining a man's wife and children in Islam! Which is absolutely not true" explains the infuriated Fantasia.
How Secure is Secure
Mom: Are you home?
Me: Yes
Mom: Why did you say this on OTV?
Me: Say what?
Mom: Your publisher was kidnapped ... in prison ... no second chances ... you are talking about politics!!!!!!!!
Me: Me? Politics? I talked about a man who was kidnapped under his building and his fiancée had no clue where he was.
Mom: This is just none of your business ... now I am worried about you.
Me: Don't worry ... I did not do anything wrong.
Mom: If they come and take you ... who should I call?
Me: (Laughter)
9:15 PM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: Yes
Mom: Ok ... take care.
11:00 PM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: (Annoyed) Yes!
Mom: Ok ... good night.
2:00 AM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: (Shouting) Where do you think I will be?
Mom: (Crying) I have no clue!
TALES FROM AN EGYPTIAN HOUSEHOLD - THE MAID
One morning she looked more dead that she usually did. She was a carcass with still tears in her eye sockets.
"What's wrong, Om Essam?"
"Nothing anesa (Miss) Marwa."
I insisted on an answer and between her loud sobs and silent tears, she told me how her husband's illness got worse - I did not know she had a husband - and how their son Saoudy, seemed to be contracting the same illness. She cried as she told me how her husband could had not worked in the last 10 years because he sleeps all the time; how he had unexplained frenzies; how he beat her, and her daughters, whenever he had one of his fits; how he turned into the famous bull in that china shop when he tore, broke, and crushed everything she worked so hard to buy for their home.
"Yesterday, Saoudy was about to throw himself out of the window. He said he did not want to live anymore. His sisters were screaming and wailing. I begged him to come back inside and to remember God. I did not want him to die an atheist. I did not want him to go to hell. The Sheikh in the mosque promised us that we would all go to heaven. He told us that people who lead such a tough life of deprivation would enjoy luxuries that surpass all luxuries in the afterlife. I know that I will go to heaven" said the woman as she wiped her face and reached for the mop.
Read the whole storyDear MAN .. I miss you
I miss you.
I know that I wake up next to you every morning - But I miss you.
I know that I go to bed next to you every night - Still I miss you.
I miss listening to you.
I miss looking into your eyes as I talk to you.
I miss the funny thing your nose does when you laugh.
I miss the other funny thing you nose does when you get mad.
I miss your silly jokes.
I miss the stories you told me a hundred times.
I miss holding your hand.
I miss your embrace.
I miss being in love with you.
Don't you?
Don't you miss me?
When we first met my heart promised you eternal and unconditional love; but somehow I let my heart down. My day to day life consumed me and our love suffered. Being your dutiful wife and the mother of your kids made me forget that I am also your lover and best friend. I saw you drift away and I did nothing to stop you. I saw the gap between us grow wider and I was too proud to draw myself closer to you. Today, you looked at me for the very first time in a very long time and I realized what has become of us.
How did we become roommates? How did our sentences become so abrupt? How did we grow so far apart? I do not want to blame you for letting our love fall into stagnation. I am reaching out to you now and I am asking you to help me resuscitate our love. Can we start over? Can you take my hands in yours one more time? Can we still walk that designated path together? I am willing to forget how the way you looked at me the other day hurt me. I will also forget how your words cut deep in my heart. I will forgive our last fight and our every fight. I will erase the marks my tears drew on my face. I will renew my love vows, will you listen?
Say "NO" ... while you still can!
Mr. Perfect
He was young, tall, dark, handsome, successful, well off, and open-minded. Mr. Perfect was willing to see me even though he knew that I was living on my own, I had a career, I traveled a lot, and I am not the compromising type. Mom was certain that she would get to see me in a wedding gown in no time!
I asked Mr. Perfect if he was the faithful type. The question just flew out of my mouth and it was too late to take it back. All it took from Mr. Not-So-Perfect was a clear audible "NO" as an answer to my question, to bring my green-eyed monster out of its cave. I repeated my question again highlighting the facts that I expected my husband to be loyal; that I liked to play fair and square; that it was a two way street; that from a religious stance, marital infidelity is a big sin that men and women get stoned to death for.
Again I kept getting nonsensical replies from the groom-to-be. Matrimonial devotion did not seem to suit his notions. Of course Mr. Not-So-Perfect had every right to walk away. With his God-given qualities and mouthwatering attributes he could easily land any girl he wanted for a marriage bargain. Why would he bother with me and with my "radical" opinions? Why did he have to justify his actions and keep his promises? He did not need to resist temptation if he knew in advance that he would be forgiven.
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