Asser's Harassers - Egyptian blogger violated

Asser Yasser is an Egyptian female blogger who recently moved to Mokattam area with her family. Her maid complained of how she got harassed on the street on her way to or from Asser's home. Her 15 year old niece who lives with them complained of the violating words that she gets bombarded with on her way to and fom school. And one day Asser made a horrible mistake and decided to walk to a kiosk 200 meters away from home to buy her kids some candy. How dare she walk in the street? How dare she leave her car behind?

On her way home, some teenagers in parked cars that reeked of hash used cuss words, followed her, tried to grab her, encircled her with their vehicles, and the poor woman and her niece felt trapped. People looked from their balconies and no one lifted a finger to help her. She called the police from her mobile phone as she stood there in utter terror and shortly after officer Mohab came to her rescue. He was almost run down by the fleeing cars. One guy stayed behind and said that he was not involved and that he was only watching from his car. Asser Identified him as one of the harassers and they all went to the station to file a formal report.

It got more interesting when the father of the 19 year old harasser snaped at Asser telling her to pick on someone her age. The father did not see or realize the gravity of what his son did. Now the father, the officers, and many others are begging Asser to drop the charges for the sake of the "poor kid's" future.

Bloggers tell her not to ....
Memebers of Kolena Laila tell her not to ...
I personally tell her not to .... it is her right ... it is our right to walk in the street feeling some sort of security ... the harasser and his friends did not think of their futures when they were getting high, when they violated her, or when she begged them to spare someone the age of their mother. No Asser ... do not give in to pressure

Review: Seven Thirty Wednesday Evening

Seven Thirty Wednesday Evening
السابعة و النصف مساء الأربعاء

Writer, blogger, and friend Nermeen Edrees sent me a copy of السابعة و النصف مساء الأربعاء more than two months ago and I promised to read it and to tell her what I thought of it honestly. I am not a slow reader; in a couple of days I finished most of the book then I faced a slight problem when I reached Nermeen Edrees's story - how do I put aside our relationship as bloggers, as authors in Global Voices Online, and as friends? How do I forget that Nermeen supported my book and that I was the first guest in her book club? I decided to read her part several times to make sure that whatever I thought of it was objective and totally unbiased - and I did.

السابعة و النصف مساء الأربعاء is a collection of short stories by 8 writers, edited by Yasser Abdel Latif and published by Al Kotob Khan. In the introduction of the book, Yasser Abdel Latif explains how Al Kotob Khan announced a writing workshop and how many people joined. The chosen theme for the first draft was the quiet suburb of Maadi; the writers needed to integrate that theme into their first draft. Due to time constraints, schedules, distance, and personal reasons many of the writers dropped out of the workshop. Yasser's introduction clearly shows that there was a lot of effort, tweaking, and fine tuning of the writers and their literary style.

The Alien
رف مرتفع قليلا عن الذاكرة or "A shelf slightly positioned above memory" is the first story by Ibrahim El Sayed. The first thing that I noticed was that the Maadi theme was forced upon the story; it was redundant and was not tightly woven within the plot. The second thing that I felt was distance, although in his introduction, Yasser explained that the writers at the end of the workshop were guided towards sharing and revealing parts of themselves as though they were confessing or exposing a secret, I felt nothing of the sort reading Ibrahim's story. Nothing touched me .. nothing moved me .. and nothing stayed in my memory. As a writer, he has got style and great narration skills. He has imagination but the story did not do him any favors. He shied away from his reader and his reader shied away from him.

The Woman
حرير و شوك or "Silk and thorns" is the second story by Amira Abu Taleb. Her words throb with life; she is very sensory; everything she wrote is colored, scented, and textured. Lilac scented. Shades of purple. Mystical feel. Feminine voice. Her story has rhythm and I felt it. Her transitions are smooth and her descriptions are vivid. I lived her story, I was tired, exhausted thrilled, happy, warm, dreamy, cold, disappointed, and hopeful. She is accessible like a memory of your own yet she manages to surprise you by how the events of her story unfold. Amira bared her soul and it was the soul of a full blown woman who has the wisdom of life and the passion of a little girl. I wished her story was longer. I did not want to leave her life.

The Philosopher
قرارات الانتماء or "Belonging Decisions" is the third story by Hossam Khalaf. Yasser mentioned in the introduction that most writers fall in love with their story and they lose their ability to edit or delete repetitive or unnecessary parts. I think this is the main problem with this story ... too many details ... too many details you did not need to know ... too many details that do not serve the events of the story or the development of the characters. The story itself is about the dilemma of existence, love, and settling down but the narration went from interesting to boring to dull and fell flat. I fully identified with the busy schedule and the deadlines that were the recurrent theme in the story.

The Best Man
صديقى الذى قال or "My friend who said" is the fourth story by Khaled Rabie. I loved it. I loved it. The guy is brilliant. I have never met him but I felt that I knew him. I felt that I sat with him in that cafe where he used to meet his friend. I ate with him. I even watched him smoke up. I stood on the sideway that separated uptown Cairo and poor defeated Cairo and watched him talk to his friend, Like Amira Abu Taleb, Khaled mastered sensory descriptions but his flavors and scents had nothing to do with lilacs and offices ... his words smelt of the streets .. of real people .. people that most of us would rather not meet. I felt that I drove him to the airport when he left Egypt, that I cried when his plane took off, and that I was there when he came back. This story is the story of his friend ... we know the story from his letter ... I wish I could quote the letter ... The letter embodies the magic of love ... my heart skipped a few beats reading the letter from Khaled's memory. This is a story that evokes every sense of nostalgia you might have. When I reached the end of it ... I was sad .. I missed a friend.

The Sensitive One
العمر كأنه مؤجل or "Life as it were on hold" is the fifth story by Dina El Hawary. Dina sponged on the experiences of everyone she has encountered in her life and this reflected on the richness of her characters. She is the girl who never had a home and learnt at an early age that her true home is her soul. Dina's story is the story of a lot of people ... it is the story of those who watch life pass them by. They see, they think, they dream but they neither react to nor interact with life. How many times did you wish to reply to someone but instead of speaking your mind, you silently replied at the back of your mind. All those unspoken words and unheard conversations ... are always at the background of Dina's story. As a reader, you read the story and hear the things that should have been ... like a subtitled movie. Courage, home, and rebellion lurk at the background all the time as opposed to passiveness, fear and submission that are always in the foreground. The backbone of the story is how she left Egypt with her family to the gulf, how she came back, and how she never managed to adapt.

The Magician
بعد فوات الوقت or "When it was too late" is the sixth story by Samar Ahmed. What I liked most about this book is the diversity of the writers, their experiences, and their styles. It is not easy to surprise me but Samar totally caught me off guard with her story. I enjoyed every bit of it and loved the sudden twist at the end. The theme of this story is perception and how tricky perception could be. This is the story of the two sides of the same coin and Samar perfectly painted the picture of a woman who is married to a man she never loved with all its details ... I loved her details ... and depth. Through out the story the man is silent .. passive .. always in third person ... until the last few lines ... he finally spoke. When I turned the last page I was still eager for more.

The Dreamer
الشرفة or "The Balcony" is the seventh story by Abeer Medhat Amin. Abeer crosses the line between fact and fiction with poise, grace, and elegance. I read her story three times trying to figure out what was real and what was not .... I failed. She talked of a lover who turned out to be an imaginary friend. She talked of dreams, friends, memories, and events that were left behind. Abeer is a master at keeping you guessing. Her subplots are incomplete but it never bothers you as a reader; there is always room for your imagination to fill in the gaps without feeling that the writer tricked you.

The Young Soul
و قرر الارنب ان يستريح or "And the rabbit decided to rest" is the eighth and last story by Nermeen Edrees. This is the story of a little girl written by a mature woman who will always be young at heart. As I read this story, I clearly touched the girl's sense of adventure, her need for perfection, her quest to find the truth, her peace of mind amidst the turmoil of her heart, and her cheerful disposition. Alice in wonderland made subtle appearances in the story dressed up as Nermeen herself. Her eagerness to explore more of life exhausted the rabbit ... who had to rest. Nermeen started off with cold winter nights then moved on to loneliness that accentuates the cold until finally warmth creeps onto you in that warm bed underneath the cover where you are safe and secure from the outside world. I loved her style, how she hopped like a bunny from one theme to the other without disrupting the balance or the rhythm of the story. There were moments when I felt that she was quoting unspoken lines from my head.

Egypt: Facing the "Sons of Zion" - post rejected by Global Voices Online

Sitting on the fence requires objectivity, tolerance, and integrity. On January 7, I wrote a post titled Bloggers on the Fence where Mona Eltahawy's position was highlighted

what’s the point of choosing sides when both sides are losing? The real
challenge when it comes to the Middle East is to sit on the fence and to
understand that as with most chapters of this interminable conflict, civilians
pay the most expensive price.
But the war does not want to end! Anger, rage,
and hatred are the best fuel for a war that could last forever.

Haaretz reported that Israel is recruiting an army of bloggers' to combat anti-Zionist Web sites and YNET said

The ministry was amazed by the massive response to the effort. More than 1,000 interested applicants contacted them, of which 350 are Russian speakers, 250 English speakers, 150 Spanish speakers, 100 French speakers, and 50 German
speakers. A range of other European languages are also represented among the volunteers: Portuguese, Swedish, Dutch, Italian, Romanian, Hungarian, Polish, Greek, Bulgarian, and Danish. Persian-, Turkish-, and Arabic-speaking Jews also offered their services. The ministry even got an application from a Chinese speaker. Some 60% of the applicants are immigrants, old and new. The rest are Jews living in the Diaspora, Israelis living abroad, and even non-Jews who support Israel and want to help out.

Nawara Negm is a young Egyptian blogger who has an unprecedented online presence. On her blog, she called on other multilingual bloggers to face the sons of Zion. Attracting more than 120 comments on the first day of this post, she wrote:
احنا نبتدي حاجة واحدة الاول، عايزين نعمل مدونة مشتركة، هدفها التصدي لجيش المدونين الصهاينةبصوا بقىطبعا ممكن يبقى هدفها خدمة القضية الفلسطينية، بس بصراحة بقى انا بعد اللي حصل ده، انا مش عايزة اخدم القضية الفلسطينية، انا اللي عايزاه دلوقت ان اسرائيل ما تبقاش موجودة، خالص، مش عايزاها في الدنيا خالص، وانا شايفة انه ممكن جدا، اساسا هي جات لنا منين زفتة دي؟ وبقالها ستين سنة بس، ولسة بقالها ستين سنة وبتعمل كده في الناسلا يمكن باي حال من الاحوال اسرائيل دي تستمر خالص، انا مش عايزاها، مش عشان فلسطين ولا عشان الفلسطينيين ياخي بلاش الفلسطينيين اللي واقفين في زور العالم بالعرض من غير سبب دول، بس عشان الانسانية، تخيل انها لا قدر الله مشيت بالمعدل ده وخلصت على الفلسطينيين، ح تعمل ايه في بقية الانسانية، دي عمالة تتوحش وتتغول كل مدى، انا مش عايزاها خالص ابدا بعد كده، كفاية انها كرهت الناس في بعضما طول عمر الدنيا فيها اديان مختلفة وكانوا عايشين مع بعض، وكان بيبقى فيه حروب دينية وحروب مصالح بس مافيش كده ابدا، دي اسوأ من النازي والله العظيم، لانها رد فعل مرضي للنازية، ودايما رد الفعل المرضي بيبقى اسوأ من الفعل مهما كان الفعل سيء، دي اسوأ ما عرفته الانسانية كلها
Let's take it one step at a time; we want to create a joint blog to enable us to face the "Zionist army of bloggers". Of course it could serve the Palestinian cause but right now this is not my top priority for after what happened [in Gaza] I do not want to support the cause. I just want Israel to vanish off the face of the universe ... who are they and where did they come from? In only 60 years, this entity has to end ... not for the sake of Palestinians, who are now a thorn in the world's throat, but for the sake of humanity altogether. What else is on their agenda after Palestine? Who else will they eradicate? Since the beginning of creation, people managed to co-exist regardless of their religious differences ... yes there were wars and power struggles but nothing resembles this; they are the sick reaction to Nazism .. it is the worst known to humanity.

اول حاجة: محتاجين اكتر من لغة، غير الانجليزي والعربي، كان فيه واحدة دخلت لي وقالت لي انا فرنساوي، طيب عايزين لغات كمانتاني حاجة: عايزين نركز على حاجة حاجة، يعني الجريمة الاخيرة دي، انا عارفة ان اسرائيل جرايمها كتير، واحنا محتاجين نركز على الجريمة الاخيرة، بس مش كأنها اول مرة تحصل، لازم نوصل للعالم ان هي دي طريقتها طول عمرها وان احنا مطلبنا تقديم القيادات العسكرية والسياسية للمحاكمة، واحدة واحدة، نمسك حاجة حاجةتالت حاجة: عايزين صور وفيديوهات كتير، االمشكلة في عرض القضية الفلسطينية من اول النكبة ان بيبقى فيها وثائق طويلة ومكتوبة، عايزين شرح للقضية الفلسطينية من اولها بفيديوهات وصور بعدة لغات وبشكل مكثف من غير ما نزهق الناس برغينا، واضح ان ماحدش مقتنع بينا عشان احنا رغايين وللا ايهخلينا نكون حسني الظن ونقول انهم مش مقتنعين عشان احنا رغايين وما نقولش انهم مش لاقيين حد يضطهدوه غيرنارابع حاجة بقى: احنا عايزين نطالب الامم المتحدة تطلع قانون لحماية العرب والمسلمين من الاسلاموفوبيا والعربوفوبيا لان كده بقى ما ينفعش فعلا التهزيء اللي احنا فيه، ولما نتهزأ ونزعل يتريقوا علينا، طب اللي بيتعمل فينا ماحدش يقدر يعمله في الصهاينة ابداخامس حاجة: انا ليا صحاب امريكان بيقولوا لي ان احد اسباب كراهية العرب انهم بيدرسوا في التاريخ الحملات الصليبيةشوف البجاحة يا اخي، شوف البجاحة يا اخي، ييجوا يحتلونا ويطلعونا احنا اللي وحشين كمان، وده بيخلي اسقاط كل الكراهية على العرب سهل، اولا لانهم بعيد، ثانيا لان يمكن استلهام الكراهية من التاريخ، لما سألتهم طب هو انتوا لازم تكرهوا حد؟ قالوا لي اه!!! لازم يبقى فيه عدو نسقط عليه كل الكراهية عشان ده بيبقى محفز كويس للشغل وشحذ الهمم والنشاط الخارجي والداخلي(للتوضيح رجاء قراءة كتاب الامير لمكيافيللي)لا معلش يشوفوا لهم حد يكرهوه غيرنا احنا اخدنا نصيبناالنقطة دي لازم تتوضحسادس حاجة: احنا مش ننتقد الناس ونعمل زيهمبشكل اوضح، انا مش عايزة احفاد القردة والخنازير والكلام المهبب ده، اردوغان كان ذكي جدا لما قال اجدادي العثمانيين احتضنوا اليهود لما كانوا بيعانوا من الاضطهاد، والحقيقة التاريخ بيقول ان اليهود المواطنين طول فترة الحضارة العربية كانوا مدلعين اخر دلع، اكتر من المسيحيين بكتير (هههههه يا عيني المسيحيين) وانا عندي وثائق تاريخية بكده، ودراسات تاريخية عاملها الباحثين اليهود نفسهم، وفي مؤتمر المخطوطات كان فيه باحث يهودي قدم بحث رائع بيوثق بالمخطوطات ان مكانة اليهود في ظل الحضارة العربية كانت اخر دلع وهشتكة وده لانهم كانوا عددهم قليل واهتماماتهم كلها منصبة على التجارة والعلوم وما كانش لهم اطماع سياسية فكان دايما الخليفة يدلعهم ويقربهمبالمختصر، انا مش عايزة عنصرية، ومش عايزة نكرر غلطة الصهيونية، هم يعملوا رد فعل للناز واحنا نعمل رد فعل للصهيونية ونلف في حلقة مفرغة، التوحش والكراهية دي لازم تقف دلوقت حالا لو ينفع
First: We need more languages other than Arabic and English.Second: Let's focus on one thing at a time. I know their crimes are countless, but let's start with Israel's last massacre. We need the whole world to see the pattern in all their crimes. We will demand that their leaders be tried for tyranny and genocide.Third: We want lots of pictures and videos, documents and official papers, to present the Palestinian cause since it first started in different languages until the whole world reads our message.Fourth: We want to formally ask the United Nations to issue a law to protect us Arabs and Muslims from Islamophobia and Arabphobia ... enough mockery and sarcasm. No one dares make such fun of ZionistsFifth: I learnt from my American friends that many of those who hate us - Arabs - have learnt the Machiavellian ways of self motivation via projecting hatred and anger towards a foreign entity. They hate us because their books said so but they do not know us because we are distant and unreachable. It is our role to set this right.Sixth: We will not follow their path. I do not want racist comments and posts. I want us to be smart and rational in how we present our cause. I do not want to repeat their mistakes and end up in a vicious circle of persecution.

انا دلوقت حالا حاطة هدف قدامي عايشة عشانه ان اسرائيل تختفي في ظرف عشر سنين، ومستعدة اعمل اي حاجة عشان هدفي ده يتحقق، ومش ح ينفع احققه لوحدي، كل الاهداف في بدايتها كانت مستحيلةبما في ذلك اسرائيل نفسها، كانت مستحيلة لدرجة ان الفلسطينيين والعرب قبل النكبة كانوا مش واخدين خوانة ولا مصدقين اصلا انها حاجة ممكن تحصلواهي حصلت، وانا مؤمنة اننا نقدر نرجع الوضع على ما كان عليه وده يبقى اسهل من مهمة الناس اللي خلقت وضع جديد، ودلوقت انا مش عايزة حاجة في حياتي غير كده اللي عايز يتشارك معايا في الحلم ده يتفضل، انا عندي الميل بتاعي اهو على المدونة، ويسيب تعليق هنا، يقول لي امكانياته، ومقترحاته، ح نبتديها بمدونة وربنا هو المستعان، ننظم افكارنا ووقتنا ومقترحاتنا، ومش عايزة واحد ولا واحدة هدفه اقل من مسح اسرائيل من على الخريطة .
Right now this is my foremost goal: Israel has to vanish in 10 years. I am willing to go to any measures to see my goal materialize but I cannot do it alone. All goals were impossible to achieve when they were just dreams - Israel itself was an impossible dream. We want to set things the way they were before Israel. If you want to be a part of my dream, you have my email on my blog, and you can leave your comments below my post and tell us what you could do and your suggestions. Let's start with a blog where we could organize our thoughts, time, and suggestions. I do not want any contributor who wants anything other than wiping Israel off the map.

Looking at the other side of the coin, The Elder of Ziyon is putting up a hard fight by exposing how Hamas knowingly put civilians at risk and how wounded Gazans are afraid to go to an Israeli hospital because of their fear of Hamas. Finding loopholes in Islamic laws, he writes about how Islamic Clerics turned the Saudi peace initiative into a joke, and how a Sheikh in Australia says that it is ok for a man to rape his wife. Raymond, who blogs at Jihad Watch, wrote about how Pakistani schools promote Jihad and hate and Bare Naked Islam wrote about how women in Afghanistan flee prefer being jailed to staying with their abusive husbands.

Quoting Obama, Nawara ended her post saying:

Yes we can

اضربه على قفاه

ازاى تخلق مواطن عديم الرأى؟ عديم الشخصية؟ عديم المبادئ؟ ماشى جنب الحيط و جوه الحيط و تحت الحيط ان امكن؟

الخوجة هيقول لك

مصدر مصري يؤكد وصول القيادي في حماس محمود الزهار الي معبر رفح ظهر اليوم بسيارة اسعاف

فعلا!؟! الراجل هرب و ساب الدنيا تضرب تقلب؟

مش قلنا من الاول ان كل يغنى على ليلاه؟ ماسخم من سيدى الا ستى .. حماس و فتح و ليفينى ..... و اوباما كمان

عيد ميلاد منتظر الزايدى

منتظر الزايدى بصحة جيدة و مش فارق معاه مدة السجن اى كانت ما دام أخذ بالثار لكرامة العراق

يوم لما رمى الجزمة كان كل خوفه ان الحراس يقتلوه و اخوه قال انه بيتعامل كبطل قومى فى السجن ببغداد

امبارح كان عيد ميلاده و الحراس جابوا له تورتة و عملوا حفلة

http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/024450.php

It hurts

I have this horrible habit of scanning the classroom with my eyes once I walk in. I look for bright eyes eager to learn, skeptic faces, careless bodies, or a friendly smile. He was sitting in the last row on the right next to a friend who sat next to him throughout the semester. I wondered why he grew his hair so long and why he was wearing such a tight shirt. I smiled at myself as I thought that he had the right hair and the right body to do whatever he wanted. He was the shy type; his smile gave it away.

After introducing myself and after briefing my new students about the semester and the points we will cover, I caught him telling his friend that I was hot. My eyes met theirs' and they both blushed. I smiled. After class they came to apologize. I told them that they were forgiven and smiled at them. I know how hard it could be to be my student. You never know where you stand; I am strict yet friendly, professional yet accessible, maternal yet too young to be their mother ... me and my mind games ... I know.

The semester was three months ... we got closer ... he trusted me ... he told me about his dreams of becoming a musician ... he wondered why he needed marketing ... he wanted to have an agency as a side business ... I believed him ... I expected to see his name among the who's who of Egypt in a decade or so. He sent me his lyrics for proofing ... he still did not know how to deal with me ... am I his instructor or his friend?

In class, I get high on the image of the life-giver - the image of me breathing a part of myself into those students ... I give them - literally - a part of my time, a part of my mind, and a part of my soul. In a twisted way, I feel that they are my extension and that I have a hand in the creation of their future ... I know ... I know ... creepy! Usually, people are very competitive and most of us want to be the best at what we do. The only people that are allowed and blessed to be better than me are my students.

He has Leukemia ... his hair fell off ... he lost the bulk of his muscles ... he still has a lot of unfulfilled dreams ... no one from his family is a match ... he is fading away ... and he is taking that part of me with him. A part of my soul will die ... I have his lyrics ... he is so talented ... dear God .. please do not make him a past tense.

Blogging Inside Out

I can't sleep ... I have not slept well since Monday, 29 December 2008. Why? Because I had a show on Nile FM 104.2 and Erin Fleming asked me about my resolutions for 2009 and I proudly stated that I am planning to get married in 2009. The SMS board and my facebook wall were all congratulations and questions about who the lucky guy was and again with that same determined tone of mine I said that there was no guy but I was going to "attract" one. I was neither faking nor bluffing ... I know that I want to settle down and I want to have kids - yes yes .. I finally said it ... I want to have kids.

I said the same resolution on two other shows and I was still full of that new year new life new beginning spirit. I decided that to attract the right man and I have been working on it for a year now. The anger was gone once I published my book, the rebellion resided once I moved into my new house, the insecurities faded away with the rise of my media career, and positivity filled me inside out. For the first time in my life I am ready to give and to receive love.

So what went wrong?
Victim one: I do not want to pass his genes to my kids ... he was perfect but something about his genetic code put me off. I know how horrible that sounds ... I look like this tiny little girl but I have the senses of a female predator ... my basic instincts are scary ... they scare me ... I scare me. The guy was the right age, mind, character, beliefs, and above all he had feelings for me ... now someone please tell me what this genetic code thing means ... I was not trying to sabotage the marriage but this female predator rejected him for a reason that my mind cannot comprehend. He reminded me of an ex.

Victim two: he sounded nice until he said that he was the jealous type. I asked him what was it about me that made him feel jealous and he replied that it was the posts people leave on my wall. Red lights flashed before my eyes ... I am just starting ... I am nowhere even close to where I want to be and there comes a guy who was jealous of facebook friends. I snoozed the alarm then he asked another stupid question ... he asked me if I was a virgin ... my reply was "that is a stupid question ... find out for yourself". Curtains down ... no way. He reminded me of someone.

Victim three: Yes in two weeks, I have three victims. He emailed me after one of my shows and I emailed him back ... after a couple of back and fourth emails we talked on the phone. From our email exchanges, I felt that he has the Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome and I decided that it was too early to tell. After our second phone call, he sent me a message that had "warm lips" in it. My eyes spotted those two words and I saw nothing else of the message. I was disgusted. If you know me well, I am anything but puritanical and those of you who know me really well, I am a flirt. So what happened? Distance. Emotional distance. I felt invaded. Here is a stranger talking about my lips using a cheap cliché Here is a man who knows nothing about signs and patience. I assure you that I was not flirty and I did not entrap him. He just used an overused pickup line. I could not get myself to reply to his message or any other message that I received from him afterwards. He reminded me of a friend.

Now I feel pressure. I am an achiever. I know how to set goals and I know how to meet my deadlines. I never doubted myself or my capabilities. I am trying to push the image of failure out of my head.

My head .. this is where the real problem lies. In my head I cannot see myself married. I cannot see a man permanently in my life. Many years ago I was seeing this man and it was serious. After a month I began having nightmares. At times, I used to see myself chopping him into little pieces, at other times I would throw his clothes off the balcony one piece at a time and watch it fly in the air, and the worst one was when I killed him and left him to dry out and rot in the sun.

I sought relief in homeopathy. The practitioner told me that I have a commitment phobia and some other phobia of restraints. I do not want to be tied down. I cannot follow. I will not obey. Most of my dreams were related to incidents where he said "No" ... No! Do not go out! No! Do not wear that. No! I do not want you to be friends with this or that person. No! I do not agree to this or accept that.

For fear for his life and my sanity, we broke up and I never allowed anyone to come that close ever again. In my head I am the boss of me. I have been on my own for the past 8 years. I literally report to no one. I am fully accountable for all my choices and decisions. I have never involved anyone in my life. I flew high and lost touch with solid ground.

Sandmonkey tells me that I have realized all the goals on my checklist and that this is my only failure. Ironic, huh? This one failure has contributed more that anything else to my career:) - that was a smirk.

So yes I cannot sleep ...

Listen to Bin Laden

(CNN) -- Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden has apparently released a new audio message calling for a jihad, or holy war, against Israel for its Gaza campaign.

Sweet!

Whether I agree with Bin Laden or not I have to admit that I respect the guy ... his business sense is sharp - Sharper than guru Sawiris for that matter. His timing is impeccable. He has his way when it comes to reviving the hope of victory in the hearts of those who almost gave up.

I still remember how people in my office cheered back in 2001 (9/11) - I cheered too

It is not about Americans
It is not about Israelis
It is not about Mubarak
It is about that need inside everyone of us to break free .... to rebel ... to go wild ...

Ecstatic!

سمعت و ياريتنى ما سمعت

سمعت و يا ريتنى ما سمعت
و عرفت و يا ريتنى ما عرفت
و قرفانة آخر قرف ... و مش لاقية حد اكلمه
انا هفضفض معاكم و هـ اشاهدكم على بعضكم

عرفت زى ما الناس بتعرف ان انا متهمة بالكسكسة .. يعنى من الآخر قلت يالا نفسى و تحيا مصر و من ساعتها و ووشى منور الفضائيات و القناوات المصرية بعد ما كان مغضوب عليا ... انا مهما وصفت احساسى لما سمعت الكلام ده مش هـ اعرف اعبر ... بس الشعور بالقرف و غممان النفس كان الاحساس الطاغى

ليه اتقال عليا كده؟

علشان فى تدوينة "حول القناة" بتاعة نرمين ادريس و ردا على سؤالها عن بنفتخر بايه فى مصر قلت بافتخر بالرئيس مبارك علشان حكم عقله و فضل مصلحة البلد على صورته و بريستيجه فى العالم العربى و ده نص كلامى

I am proud of our president for not giving in to ignorant pressure … I admire his courage in facing all the rage and blows aimed at him by emotional masses of Egyptians and Arabs … I am happy he did not open the Rafa7 crossings … I am happy he said that he would only allow the wounded … I am glad that he is not dragging us into a war that is not ours … I am glad that he could see through the hidden agendas of Hamas, Fatah, and Israel … These three parties are the ones who are using civilians as live targets in their own dirty wars .. Yes .. I am proud of Hosny Mubarak.

و بعدين فى تدوينة تانية لاميرة طاهر عن الفساد و ليسته الفاسدين دافعت عن عائلة عرفة و قلت

انا ماعرفشى كل الاسامى اللى فى النوت لكن المعلومات غير دقيقة ... احمد عرفة بتاع كونكريت .. السطر ده متفبرك كله .. انا كنت مخطوبة لابنهم الله يرحمه و عارفة العيلة دى كويس ... الاسامى حتى غلط و الناس دول اصل تجارتهم فى الموسكى و بعدين ولاد السيد عرفة توسعوا ... عمرو و احمد مش ليهم اصلا فى الليلة دى و اخوهم اسامة هو اللى بيدير البيزنيس ... الله اعلم ايه تانى غلط

الصح اننا مظلومين و منهوبين بس فى رجال اعمال شرفاء و مش معنى انه غنى انه حرامى

فين رامى لكح؟

و بعدين لما ايدت شريفة التابعى ان احنا شعب اتقن الندب و لطم الخدود و ده كلام شريفة اللى انا وافقتها عليه

We are first class complainers since the 1920s onwards. We are eternally against our government/s be it royal or republican. This makes me pause: is it really just the government or are we in great part responsible for our own predicaments? corruption is not governmental level only but deeply seated in the roots of our daily lives and daily intearction.

The butcher who sells bad meat or donkey meat, the parmachist who cheats on a medication or raises its price, the guy at the Fuel station who cheats on the liters or change of money and so on. The change has to be from the people themselves. To care more , to be more responsible.

You can't increase the economy of a country, if its people are not willing to work on the production! what is our percentage of actual daily production? I am talking of PEOPLE not government.

And to tell you the truth, I know the majority are against Nazif but has ever one recalled any of his achivements and accomplishments particularly in the field of IT (after being PM not just Minister of IT). None. We never recall any positive points no matter how big and we never stop complaining about any passive or negative point no matter how minimal. We also never offer VIABLE solutions. Solid, practical and possible to implement solutions not just the usual standard big words.


و من هنا تمت ادانتى و الدليل ايه؟ اهو ... حلقة فى الفضائية و راحة جاية على نايل لايف و دريم و البيوت اسرار و ما خفى كان اعظم

و ايه حلقة الوصل بينهم؟ لما اتكلمت عدل عن الحكومة رضوا عنى و فكوا اسرى

طبعا الناس السودا الكئيبة مش ممكن يخطر فى بالهم ان انا زى ما انتقلت من السياحة الى التدريب و التدريس و الكتابة ممكن اكون باعمل نقلة تانية تجاه الاعلام .. و مش ممكن يفكروا ان انا زى اى واحد عارف هو عايز ايه بقالى شهرين مبطلة شغل التدريب و مركزة فى الفيسبوك و الجروبس بتاعتى و السايت بتاعى و انى دورت على حلقاتى القديمة و نزلتها على السايت بتاعى .. من الآخر استخدمت تكنيك التذكير و نعنشة الذاكرة بتاع التسويق
Reminder campaings

و انى مثلا وسعت دائرة معارفى من المعدين و رميت فى طريقهم افكار لحلقات مختلفة او جديدة .... اللى هو فى التسويق اسمه
pitching ... I pitched myself

ولا انى اعدت ترتيب الصفحة الرئيسية على السايت بتاعى علشان اعيد اكتشاف مقالاتى القديمة و الفت النظر لمقالاتى الجديدة و ركزت على المزايا التسويقية بتاعتى كشخص و كاعلامية

لكن صحيح ازاى ما هما دول نفس الناس اللى مش مؤمنة بالعمل و النجاح و المثابرة و هما دول نفس الناس اللى تهبط عزيمة بلد و هما نفسهم اللى مؤمنين ان كل واحد ناجح يبقى محظوظ و لا واسطة ولا كوسة و لا مولود بمعلقة دهب فى بقه ... هما نفس الناس اللى بتعمل اسقاط لفشلها الشخصى على كل حاجة عدلة

بما ان السيرة دى اتفتحت انا بالمرة هـرد على التعليقات على نوت شريفة التابعى
an adult
ده المفروض انسان ناضج واعى مسؤول ايه بقى اللى خيبه و طفاه و خلاه بيستسهل يعلق كل بلاويه على شماعة الحكومة. مستنى اللى يأكله و يشريه و يلبسه و يجوزه زى العاجز اللى لا حول له و لا قوة ... شباب شايخ و متحلل و ريحته فايحة .. حاجة تسد النفس ... لا طموح و امل و لا دماغ

فين يا بنى آدم احساسك بالمسؤوليه؟ فين ارادك؟ فين كفاحك؟ فين محاولاتك لتطوير نفسك و تحسين دخلك و عيشتك؟

شماعة المدارس و التعليم و الفقر و الحكومة ... عيب!!! بجد عيب .... احلام مؤجلة و حياة فى حالة انتظار .... و يوم ورا يوم بيعدى و انت تحولت الى بخاخة نكد و سلبيه و كآبة ... أوووف

اللى عايز يحارب و ينصر اخوانه فى غزة مايروح .. مين ماسكه .. يروح يلم اصحابه و يطلع على الحدود و يفتح فتحة فى السلك بالقصافة و يسلم نفسه .... و فى حد عملها فعلا ... مش دول نفس الناس اللى بتتهرب من التجنيد و لابسة طرح؟

الله يمسيها بالخير نانسى عجرم قالت ايه .... شاطر شاطر ... اللى بيعمل حاجة كويسة شو بنقول له؟ شاطر شاطر .... فى قرف فى البلد و فقر و ناس مطحونة لكن فى محاولات للتطوير و للتنظيم .. فى سرقة لكن فى انجازات ... فى فساد و خراب لكن فى ناس بتحاول تغير و انت يا بنى آدم يا مهزوم يا كسول يا متواكل كل اللى انت بتعمله انك قاعد تعدد و تولول و تتـ ... و لا بلاش