هل هو بخيل؟
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=396
I am tired of playing games
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=395
حبيبتى متقلبة مزاجيا
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=394
حبيبى عنده لا مبالاه
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=393
التشائم نهاية الحب
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=392
احنا بنشترى راجل
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=391
بتدور على الحب فى اماكن غلط
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=390
He left me because he does not have time to watch TV
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=389
مين اللى يبتدى
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=388
Should Muslims & Christians get married
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=387
Friends with Benefits
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=386
I don;t care I am Me
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=385
Sexual Chemistry
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=384
انا مختلفة
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=383
اللبن لما يتعكر
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=382
What do I want to do with my life?
http://www.marwarakha.com/index.php?categoryid=41&p2_articleid=381
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
80/20 Rule in Relationships
This quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?' says it all
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT. And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this girl in my office is a ! real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage.
Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keeps you Strong, Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you Humble and Success keeps you glowing,
But only Faith and Attitude keeps you going....
My aunt sent me this:)
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT. And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT.
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this girl in my office is a ! real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.
Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.
You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Cheating happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage.
Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keeps you Strong, Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you Humble and Success keeps you glowing,
But only Faith and Attitude keeps you going....
My aunt sent me this:)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Blogging Inside Out
I can't sleep ... I have not slept well since Monday, 29 December 2008. Why? Because I had a show on Nile FM 104.2 and Erin Fleming asked me about my resolutions for 2009 and I proudly stated that I am planning to get married in 2009. The SMS board and my facebook wall were all congratulations and questions about who the lucky guy was and again with that same determined tone of mine I said that there was no guy but I was going to "attract" one. I was neither faking nor bluffing ... I know that I want to settle down and I want to have kids - yes yes .. I finally said it ... I want to have kids.
I said the same resolution on two other shows and I was still full of that new year new life new beginning spirit. I decided that to attract the right man and I have been working on it for a year now. The anger was gone once I published my book, the rebellion resided once I moved into my new house, the insecurities faded away with the rise of my media career, and positivity filled me inside out. For the first time in my life I am ready to give and to receive love.
So what went wrong?
Victim one: I do not want to pass his genes to my kids ... he was perfect but something about his genetic code put me off. I know how horrible that sounds ... I look like this tiny little girl but I have the senses of a female predator ... my basic instincts are scary ... they scare me ... I scare me. The guy was the right age, mind, character, beliefs, and above all he had feelings for me ... now someone please tell me what this genetic code thing means ... I was not trying to sabotage the marriage but this female predator rejected him for a reason that my mind cannot comprehend. He reminded me of an ex.
Victim two: he sounded nice until he said that he was the jealous type. I asked him what was it about me that made him feel jealous and he replied that it was the posts people leave on my wall. Red lights flashed before my eyes ... I am just starting ... I am nowhere even close to where I want to be and there comes a guy who was jealous of facebook friends. I snoozed the alarm then he asked another stupid question ... he asked me if I was a virgin ... my reply was "that is a stupid question ... find out for yourself". Curtains down ... no way. He reminded me of someone.
Victim three: Yes in two weeks, I have three victims. He emailed me after one of my shows and I emailed him back ... after a couple of back and fourth emails we talked on the phone. From our email exchanges, I felt that he has the Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome and I decided that it was too early to tell. After our second phone call, he sent me a message that had "warm lips" in it. My eyes spotted those two words and I saw nothing else of the message. I was disgusted. If you know me well, I am anything but puritanical and those of you who know me really well, I am a flirt. So what happened? Distance. Emotional distance. I felt invaded. Here is a stranger talking about my lips using a cheap cliché Here is a man who knows nothing about signs and patience. I assure you that I was not flirty and I did not entrap him. He just used an overused pickup line. I could not get myself to reply to his message or any other message that I received from him afterwards. He reminded me of a friend.
Now I feel pressure. I am an achiever. I know how to set goals and I know how to meet my deadlines. I never doubted myself or my capabilities. I am trying to push the image of failure out of my head.
My head .. this is where the real problem lies. In my head I cannot see myself married. I cannot see a man permanently in my life. Many years ago I was seeing this man and it was serious. After a month I began having nightmares. At times, I used to see myself chopping him into little pieces, at other times I would throw his clothes off the balcony one piece at a time and watch it fly in the air, and the worst one was when I killed him and left him to dry out and rot in the sun.
I sought relief in homeopathy. The practitioner told me that I have a commitment phobia and some other phobia of restraints. I do not want to be tied down. I cannot follow. I will not obey. Most of my dreams were related to incidents where he said "No" ... No! Do not go out! No! Do not wear that. No! I do not want you to be friends with this or that person. No! I do not agree to this or accept that.
For fear for his life and my sanity, we broke up and I never allowed anyone to come that close ever again. In my head I am the boss of me. I have been on my own for the past 8 years. I literally report to no one. I am fully accountable for all my choices and decisions. I have never involved anyone in my life. I flew high and lost touch with solid ground.
Sandmonkey tells me that I have realized all the goals on my checklist and that this is my only failure. Ironic, huh? This one failure has contributed more that anything else to my career:) - that was a smirk.
So yes I cannot sleep ...
I said the same resolution on two other shows and I was still full of that new year new life new beginning spirit. I decided that to attract the right man and I have been working on it for a year now. The anger was gone once I published my book, the rebellion resided once I moved into my new house, the insecurities faded away with the rise of my media career, and positivity filled me inside out. For the first time in my life I am ready to give and to receive love.
So what went wrong?
Victim one: I do not want to pass his genes to my kids ... he was perfect but something about his genetic code put me off. I know how horrible that sounds ... I look like this tiny little girl but I have the senses of a female predator ... my basic instincts are scary ... they scare me ... I scare me. The guy was the right age, mind, character, beliefs, and above all he had feelings for me ... now someone please tell me what this genetic code thing means ... I was not trying to sabotage the marriage but this female predator rejected him for a reason that my mind cannot comprehend. He reminded me of an ex.
Victim two: he sounded nice until he said that he was the jealous type. I asked him what was it about me that made him feel jealous and he replied that it was the posts people leave on my wall. Red lights flashed before my eyes ... I am just starting ... I am nowhere even close to where I want to be and there comes a guy who was jealous of facebook friends. I snoozed the alarm then he asked another stupid question ... he asked me if I was a virgin ... my reply was "that is a stupid question ... find out for yourself". Curtains down ... no way. He reminded me of someone.
Victim three: Yes in two weeks, I have three victims. He emailed me after one of my shows and I emailed him back ... after a couple of back and fourth emails we talked on the phone. From our email exchanges, I felt that he has the Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome and I decided that it was too early to tell. After our second phone call, he sent me a message that had "warm lips" in it. My eyes spotted those two words and I saw nothing else of the message. I was disgusted. If you know me well, I am anything but puritanical and those of you who know me really well, I am a flirt. So what happened? Distance. Emotional distance. I felt invaded. Here is a stranger talking about my lips using a cheap cliché Here is a man who knows nothing about signs and patience. I assure you that I was not flirty and I did not entrap him. He just used an overused pickup line. I could not get myself to reply to his message or any other message that I received from him afterwards. He reminded me of a friend.
Now I feel pressure. I am an achiever. I know how to set goals and I know how to meet my deadlines. I never doubted myself or my capabilities. I am trying to push the image of failure out of my head.
My head .. this is where the real problem lies. In my head I cannot see myself married. I cannot see a man permanently in my life. Many years ago I was seeing this man and it was serious. After a month I began having nightmares. At times, I used to see myself chopping him into little pieces, at other times I would throw his clothes off the balcony one piece at a time and watch it fly in the air, and the worst one was when I killed him and left him to dry out and rot in the sun.
I sought relief in homeopathy. The practitioner told me that I have a commitment phobia and some other phobia of restraints. I do not want to be tied down. I cannot follow. I will not obey. Most of my dreams were related to incidents where he said "No" ... No! Do not go out! No! Do not wear that. No! I do not want you to be friends with this or that person. No! I do not agree to this or accept that.
For fear for his life and my sanity, we broke up and I never allowed anyone to come that close ever again. In my head I am the boss of me. I have been on my own for the past 8 years. I literally report to no one. I am fully accountable for all my choices and decisions. I have never involved anyone in my life. I flew high and lost touch with solid ground.
Sandmonkey tells me that I have realized all the goals on my checklist and that this is my only failure. Ironic, huh? This one failure has contributed more that anything else to my career:) - that was a smirk.
So yes I cannot sleep ...
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Back to Basics - Thither thou shalt findeth thine answers
In his comment on my Shallow Me post, Tamer G said...
In a relationship context,
3) Electric currents (physical attraction) produce magnetic fields.
5) Magnets have two poles, labeled north and south, and like poles repel each other while unlike poles attract each other. - Very Clear!
There is nothing shallow about what you wrote at all, and people who say that they don't care about looks are either liars trying to seem mentally deep , or simply very theoretical in their opinions.
Now my question is: Why do we get attracted to the wrong persons ? Is it the challenge of dealing with a difficult personality ? Why do we overlook persons who want us and go for the not so easy relations ? Iis this common, or is it just me ?
Hello Tamer G:)
The answer to your question is in a science class when we were in 4th grade. The chapter about magnetisim and electricity:)
The book said that "Electricity and magnetism are related effects that have many useful applications in everyday life."
In a relationship context,
1) Wires (words), batteries (time & efforts), and bulbs (a spark) are used to design and build simple series and parallel circuits.
2) A simple compass (your heart) is used to detect magnetic effects, including Earth's magnetic field.
3) Electric currents (physical attraction) produce magnetic fields.
4)Electrically charged objects (human beings) attract or repel each other.
5) Magnets have two poles, labeled north and south, and like poles repel each other while unlike poles attract each other. - Very Clear!
6) Electrical energy can be converted to heat, light and motion. - I hope I do not have to translate that:)
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