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Saturday, April 7, 2007

Me? A Blackhole? - another interpretation of me

Here are bits and pieces of what he said about me but for the whole piece click the link

"She tells me that she has a dilemma. Almost everyone she's been involved with has told her that she is cold ...
You see, it's not that she is cold. She just doesn't generate heat, and needs to draw it in her. She is just like a Blackhole, attracting all the warmth and the light to it, and doesn't give it back ...
It's like a hologram of fire: just looks like the real thing, but don't expect it to keep you warm at night... No wonder some people run away.
The way a blackhole works is simple: It used to be a sun. A center of light and heat ... And then one day it shut down. It died. It collapsed upon itself, and it started to attract every single piece of light to it, where it would be sucked in and forever dissappear...
It attracts you, and it destroys you, and the worst thing is, there is no escaping it once you are close enough to its orbit. It draws you in, opens up to you like an old friend, gives you its embrace and ends up sucking the warmth out of you, depleting you, until there is nothing left in you for it to want...
Either way, you can't help but feel betrayed! That it wasn't supposed to be this way! The thing is though, every Blackhole used to be a sun, until something turned it off ... If you can figure it out, then you could fix it, and have a sun all to yourself...
Or maybe, just maybe, this is all just a test. Maybe it works like that as a way for the Blackhole to weed out the unworthy ... Maybe, just maybe, every Blackhole is just waiting for that special something that can pass through its gravitational pull and doesn't get destroyed, and comes in contact with it and manages to keep its heat. It would take something really strong and special to be able to do that, something worthy.
Maybe that's what this is all about. And when that day comes, the gravatational pull will stop , the destruction will cease, and the Blackhole will be satisfied, having found its exclusive heat center."


Marwa Rakha said...

It's me .. the BLACKHOLE .. yes I am a blackhole and yes I am a test to every piece of scrap that I attract .. survival is not for the fittest nor for the most intelligent says Darwin; survival is for the most adaptable to change.

People who cannot adapt to my cold outer surface, will certainly freeze and will run for their lives. Those who adapt and retain their warmth in my coldest of storms will be rewarded .. A sun all to themselves, as you put it.

I am like my water heater, the valve was broken, the warm water was leaked into the cold water pipes and I could not have a warm shower until I had it fixed.

I function like an electric heater, the power has to be on, water has to be in, and the valve has to adapt:)

Rafik said...

Cold Surface?!!!!!
As your ex instructor and current colleague you missed it this time, your fiery and rebellious character is radiating outside and around. Cold surface; You did not look in the mirror lately. Go and ask your students how many feel that you are cold a small piece of research that might straighten your misconcepts

Anonymous said...

Dear Marwa,
i couldn;t agree more with mr rafik, i have known you for quite a while , and if anyone is so far from being cold its you despite of all the faces or fronts you might think your putting, and whoever can't see that , is either dum or blind, its takes a sensitive person to know one.


Marwa Rakha said...

Thank you Dr. Rafik for your nice words:) It is quite reassuring to know that I come across as fiery and radiant ... in class I come to life and I draw my energy from my students ... I love them and need them more than they love me and need me.

I have to admit that I do have a cold edge that can be ruthless, merciless and cutting ... it takes a certain level of interaction to see that side.

Thanks again for everything:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Amany:) You are indeed sensitive and we have a lot in common.

Relationships are one big dilemma and with every interaction I have with "someone", another layer of me is revealed.

He did not say I was cold .. he said I seem so only to filter the rubbish - call it self preservation or an advanced screening technique.