ENVY – THE ULCER OF THE SOUL

“Are you comparing me to Marwa Rakha?” exclaimed a female writer in a casual chat with a blogger friend of mine using her usual flippant wit that I used to admire when I first got to know her. I will not get into the details of what could have prompted her bile; I will just pause for a few minutes and try to analyze how women – as opposed to men – behave when jealousy strikes them. Being the descendant of the caveman, when a man is jealous or envious of another man, he would get himself a prettier wife, bulkier muscles, more kids, a bigger home, or a fancier car; but when a woman covets what another woman has, there are so many ways to go about it. Let me share with you the categories that I created for fe-mail spite. (I am the Egyptian Fe-mail after all)

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ALLERGIC TO THE F-WORD!

On MSN - One Friday morning

My friend: Are you afraid of f***ing?
Me: I can't f***
My friend: We all f***
Me: Not me
My friend: F***ing is only human
Me: Nop! F***ing is a human option but it is not inevitable
My friend: It could still happen
Me: I will not allow it to happen ... I am allergic to the F-word!!

(My friend logs out)

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TALES FROM AN EGYPTIAN HOUSEHOLD - THE MAN

My father looked at me angrily, then looked at Ahmed doubtingly, and told me that we had to go. The heaviness of guilt and anticipation subdued me as I followed my dad to the car. I was more concerned with my image in front of my friend; I felt humiliated for no good cause. The frown on my dad's forehead grew deeper creating future wrinkles but he was silent. We arrived home and my mother noticed the tension. She asked what went wrong but he was still silent. I told my mom what happened and my fury took over. Dad walked back into the room and the "good girl" lesson began.

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THOU SHALT NOT OBJECT AS THINE HEAD I CENSOR

I cannot believe that there came a day when I had to consult a dictionary for the definition of an adult. “When you grow up” was the answer I got to most of the questions I asked in my childhood or in my troublesome teens be it as simple as wearing making or as complex as making babies. Time and experience answered a lot of these questions yet today I am not sure if there will ever come a point in my life when I will not need to be “more grown up” to be allowed to do, read, or watch what I chose? This is why I needed the help of the dictionary to see if I was adult enough or I still needed more growing up.

Wikipedia said that “The term adult describes any mature organism, but normally it refers to a human: one that is no longer a child / minor and is now either a man or a woman.” Other definitions stated 18 or 21 as a minimum age requirement. Accordingly, I am an adult. Finally I am a grown up! Why do I not feel like an adult? Is it because I live in a country that insists that I am not, and will never be, old enough to watch movies uncensored? Is it because some big boys think that certain books and songs will contaminate my pure soul? Is it because people still blush – or pretend to blush – when the S-Word is mentioned? Is it because countless people act as my guardians – deciding what is good for me and what is not?

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You are Mine

I will drop you in the deepest of oceans
but like a message in a bottle
you will swim to my shore.

I will fly you in the highest of skies
but like a homing pigeon
you will land on my window.

I will let you loose in the busiest of streets
but like a domestic cat
you will stray back to my door.

I will throw you out in the coldest of nights
but like a christmas gift
you will adorn my tree.

I will let you go and walk away
but like the son I never had
I will hear you calling my name.

When you were not looking,
in your core
I planted my seed.

Before you know it,
I shall grow in your soul
like a leafy tree of a hundred years.

I will toss you and turn you
hurt you and burn you
chew you and spit you.

I will hold you and hug you
kiss you and caress you
inhale you and crave you.

Lose yourself in my passion and rage;
Surrender your weapons;
Come unarmed for I will invade you.

I promise to do all that and more;
Do not resist me;
You are mine.