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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Connected

Like the stink of your breath, your words disgust me
Like the stench of your armpits, your embraces disgust me
Like the dirt under your nails, your hands disgust me
Like the wax in your ears, your pauses disgust me
Like the ashes on your teeth, your hissing disgusts me
Like the man you're not, the man you are disgusts me
***
There you are and here is your cynical face;
Is that a smirk or a smile that lost its pace?
Are you here for me or have you lost the way?
Let me hear your voice or have you nothing to say?
Let me reach into your skull with my claws;
Let me pluck those eyes that could only see my flaws.
***
I cannot promise to love you but will you have me?
I know I hurt you yet could you have me?
I might hurt you again so should you have me?
I am reconnected,
Have been resurrected,
Have me now,
I am finally connected!

11 comments:

Raghda Salama said...

wow Marwa... This is beautiful.
Occassionally, I feel like I could relate.

wabdelwahab said...

too harsh, but sounds nice..

Marwa Rakha said...

Raghda ... Identify? Really? How?:) Let me know that I am sane:)

Marwa Rakha said...

W Abdel Wahab ... harshness has a beauty of its own:) Thank you for stopping by:)

drive by shooting said...

You have been deeply affected, to the extent where your emotional illness (re:psychological vomiting post) is impacting you physically.

The man was a personification of evil. He tried to dehumanize you by denying you your individuality and stripping away your self-esteem.

You may have thought this issue is resolved, but I assure you that it has not. Do not mislead yourself in thinking that the chapter has closed, or that you will just move on with your life. I hope I am wrong.

Be mindful of chronic physical signs of hyperarousal, including sleep problems, trouble concentrating, irritability, anger, poor concentration, ; emotional numbness; lack of interest in once-enjoyable activities, avoidance of persons.

You might want to seek some counselling.

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Drive by:) I read your previous comments as well on the SOS post .. thank you:)

I am not sure which man you are referring to here ...

The vomiting post was not because of a man .. it was because of a job and too much driving around Cairo - very stressful experience.

The guy in the SOS post ... is gone ... I have bigger fish to fry:)

As for this post .... it is not about ONE man .. actually there are three men; all new:) Each section refers to one of the three:)

I do not know you - or maybe I do - but you are so sweet and very caring - thank you:)

Out of the symptoms you listed I am guilty of lack of concentration - I just thought it was because of an informational overload:)

drive by shooting said...

Okay...just was concerned. (I guess I connected the dots in the wrong way!)

No, we do not know each other (i.e. we haven't met).

lonely man said...

though i didnt understand it :) but i feel i like the 1st part. some how it brings some rage and anger out to the surface.

Dr. Eyad Harfoush said...

Ohh Marwa, The first part is greatly disgusting your audience from the person you described. Once, on a betrayal event I wrote,

هيهات .. هيهات
هيهات تخرج زوجُ لوطٍ من آل عمران
هيهات تُنبِتُ الزَّقُوم روحاً أو ريحان
على عيني يا خؤون صــنعتك
فأشركت بي أنجس الأوثان
فإخسأي في نار بغضي آبدةً
ليس لذنب الشرك عندي غفران

***
مدي يُسراك فخُذي صحف الخيانة و الدنس
و انظري نفسك راكعةً للــوثن النجس
و انظري الشاعر تغدو ..جهنم من حشاه قبس
لا تقولي أغواك إبليس .. فإبليس منك يقتبس

***
اليوم .. قدماك تشهـــــد بالسعي إليه
يداك تشهــــــد بفعـــل يـديه
شفتاك تشهـــــد بمــذاق شفـتيه
بمذاق يديه
بمذاق قدميه
بمذاق الوحل في نعليه
***
هلمي فاخلعي عنك المسوح و إلى العذاب الشديد
إلى جهنم ورداً يا من كنت .. لصــق الوريد
قد رأيتِ وعدي حقاً فأين .. ما وعد الرعديد ؟؟

***
جمعت من جروح صدري صديداً .. فاشربيه
و دوح الخيــــانة أثمر علقماً .. فاطعميه
إكـــتوي اليـوم و ذقي بعضاً مما أذقتنيه
لأن ذقت السعير كارهةً
فقد ذقته يا خاسرة قبلاً .. و كنت أشتـهيه

Then someone who read it told me she felt really disgusted from the person the poem depicts. Greetings
I had been to Amman in an urgent business trip, unable to attend your event, sad I missed that.

Merdol said...

Well, Marwa, I just ran across your article (From the diary of a single independent female in Egypt) through my Google alerts that I receive daily about Egypt, I related to it immediately, it is like I wrote it myself, I always thought that life in Egypt is more repetitive and less original for everyone and your article just confirmed that, Anyway just wanted to tell you, keep it up, you are a breath of fresh air in this boring stereotyping society. . By the way I loved your “connected” poem. . You should think about writing lyrics for bands. . Good Luck

Marwa Rakha said...

Thanks Merdol for stopping by and for leaving me this message ... just now I learnt that my publisher got arrested and I am feeling kind of hopeless!