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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Things Couples SHOULD NOT Take for Granted

A friend of mine told me that he had had revelation - a moment of epiphany he called it - as he realised that he is addicted to falling in love: the excitement, the warmth, the high, the getting to explore a new partner, and the other feelings that come with meeting a new person. He also told me that after that initial phase has passed, he has withdrawal symptoms that involve taking his partner for granted. He no longer has butterflies in his stomach when she calls and he no longer wants to go out of his way to please or to impress her. He said that he will eventually get married to the girl he is seeing now, but he misses the beginnings. Listening to him talk made me realise that most couples, knowingly or unknowingly, fall into this trap and the longer they stay with their partners, the more they take them for granted. The next thing you know, they are both unhappy and they have both forgetten why they even got together in the first place. This piece is an attempt to remind each man and woman who is in a relationship of the things they take for granted and shouldn't.

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gjoe said...

I have read an article before that scientifically speaking, the butterflies phase only lasts for 1 year maximum. It doesnt matter if the relationship is deep or not, there are certain hormones that intrigue that excitement your friend was talking about.

But what I like to believe is that the "sexual" form of the first phase of love evolves. It morphs into something deeper. It has to do with acceptance of your second half and understanding his/her flaws and appreciating the good qualities they have.

This is what stays eventually.. A deep form of love, where after too many years of ups and downs, withdrawal, forgiveness, and happy moments, the couple become what I like to call "inseparable" At least that is how I see it.

A friend of mine also told me that if you are a good sister/brother, you will make a good spouse. Because the long termed relationships are built on the same things: Sharing, forgiveness, listening, compromises. All that makes the butterflies at the beginning, although interesting, but just a very small part of any successful relationship.

Ma3lesh el comment taweel shwaya bass i liked the entry!

Marwa Rakha said...

Thanks GJoe:)

I hope you read the rest of it too:)