Things Couples SHOULD NOT Take for Granted

A friend of mine told me that he had had revelation - a moment of epiphany he called it - as he realised that he is addicted to falling in love: the excitement, the warmth, the high, the getting to explore a new partner, and the other feelings that come with meeting a new person. He also told me that after that initial phase has passed, he has withdrawal symptoms that involve taking his partner for granted. He no longer has butterflies in his stomach when she calls and he no longer wants to go out of his way to please or to impress her. He said that he will eventually get married to the girl he is seeing now, but he misses the beginnings. Listening to him talk made me realise that most couples, knowingly or unknowingly, fall into this trap and the longer they stay with their partners, the more they take them for granted. The next thing you know, they are both unhappy and they have both forgetten why they even got together in the first place. This piece is an attempt to remind each man and woman who is in a relationship of the things they take for granted and shouldn't.

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HUH?

I am speechless.
My face is expressionless.
My eyes are wide open.
My mind is blank.
I am guilty of despair.
In my book despair is a deadly sin.
Facebook is to blame … I am still speechless!
Why? I will tell you why!

Because of my long history of writing about relationships, men, women, and society, because of my book, and because of my TV appearances, I have earned a place to be coveted in a lot of peoples’ hearts. People come to me for advice or to vent, and they know that I will never judge them no matter how ugly or horrible their story turns out to be. I needed to listen to their ailments to cure mine - But there was a price.

Willingly, I had to give up my privacy; my facebook account, my mobile number, my home phone, and at times my home itself. I cannot ignore a friend request from someone I did not know because I chose to be down to earth and accessible. A lot of people appreciated and respected my decision and ended up being my support group and online friends. Other people ended up being writing material.

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How Secure is Secure

Sunday 6 April - 7:45 PM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: Yes
Mom: Why did you say this on OTV?
Me: Say what?
Mom: Your publisher was kidnapped ... in prison ... no second chances ... you are talking about politics!!!!!!!!
Me: Me? Politics? I talked about a man who was kidnapped under his building and his fiancée had no clue where he was.
Mom: This is just none of your business ... now I am worried about you.
Me: Don't worry ... I did not do anything wrong.
Mom: If they come and take you ... who should I call?
Me: (Laughter)

9:15 PM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: Yes
Mom: Ok ... take care.

11:00 PM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: (Annoyed) Yes!
Mom: Ok ... good night.

2:00 AM - mom calls
Mom: Are you home?
Me: (Shouting) Where do you think I will be?
Mom: (Crying) I have no clue!

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Dear MAN .. I miss you

Dear MAN

I miss you.
I know that I wake up next to you every morning - But I miss you.
I know that I go to bed next to you every night - Still I miss you.
I miss listening to you.
I miss looking into your eyes as I talk to you.
I miss the funny thing your nose does when you laugh.
I miss the other funny thing you nose does when you get mad.
I miss your silly jokes.
I miss the stories you told me a hundred times.
I miss holding your hand.
I miss your embrace.
I miss being in love with you.
Don't you?
Don't you miss me?

When we first met my heart promised you eternal and unconditional love; but somehow I let my heart down. My day to day life consumed me and our love suffered. Being your dutiful wife and the mother of your kids made me forget that I am also your lover and best friend. I saw you drift away and I did nothing to stop you. I saw the gap between us grow wider and I was too proud to draw myself closer to you. Today, you looked at me for the very first time in a very long time and I realized what has become of us.

How did we become roommates? How did our sentences become so abrupt? How did we grow so far apart? I do not want to blame you for letting our love fall into stagnation. I am reaching out to you now and I am asking you to help me resuscitate our love. Can we start over? Can you take my hands in yours one more time? Can we still walk that designated path together? I am willing to forget how the way you looked at me the other day hurt me. I will also forget how your words cut deep in my heart. I will forgive our last fight and our every fight. I will erase the marks my tears drew on my face. I will renew my love vows, will you listen?

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Say "NO" ... while you still can!

An easy guide to men who are BAD for you ... from The Poison Tree, Planted & Grown in Egypt

Mr. Perfect
He was young, tall, dark, handsome, successful, well off, and open-minded. Mr. Perfect was willing to see me even though he knew that I was living on my own, I had a career, I traveled a lot, and I am not the compromising type. Mom was certain that she would get to see me in a wedding gown in no time!

I asked Mr. Perfect if he was the faithful type. The question just flew out of my mouth and it was too late to take it back. All it took from Mr. Not-So-Perfect was a clear audible "NO" as an answer to my question, to bring my green-eyed monster out of its cave. I repeated my question again highlighting the facts that I expected my husband to be loyal; that I liked to play fair and square; that it was a two way street; that from a religious stance, marital infidelity is a big sin that men and women get stoned to death for.

Again I kept getting nonsensical replies from the groom-to-be. Matrimonial devotion did not seem to suit his notions. Of course Mr. Not-So-Perfect had every right to walk away. With his God-given qualities and mouthwatering attributes he could easily land any girl he wanted for a marriage bargain. Why would he bother with me and with my "radical" opinions? Why did he have to justify his actions and keep his promises? He did not need to resist temptation if he knew in advance that he would be forgiven.

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