مونتيسوري مصر

مشاكل القراء المسجلة

Delivered to your Doorstep

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Relationship Warning: Do not get involved with Egyptian Men!

Because of the nature of my work in the tourism sector, I am used to hearing that this or that country has issued a travel warning to its citizens who plan on traveling to Egypt, especially in the aftermath of an attack. Naturally, most warnings address safety and security issues, and some warnings dedicate a section or two to hygiene and harassment. Lately, and because of the increasing number of divorces, custody issues, and domestic violence cases, some countries warn their women from Egyptian men. Yes, they tell them clearly not to get emotionally involved or legally committed to an Egyptian man!

I did not just make that up. I got it first hand from a European woman who is living in Egypt, was married to an Egyptian man, has a son, and is currently divorced. “He swept me off my feet with his sweet words, compliments, attentive gestures, romance, and warmth; he was a god compared to European men, who are often distant, reserved, and not very emotional. I fell in love with him like never before. Bit by bit, I began opening up too and, against my better judgment, I gave up all my defenses. In three months, he asked me to marry him, and in my culture this is a very serious step. I translated his proposal as the epitome of love and I gladly accepted.”

I listened to Sandy and I knew exactly how she felt when she first met “her hero”. I know how it feels to jump in a jar of honey thinking of how sweet it would taste and how rich and overwhelming it would feel, only to get your hair tangled in its stickiness and eventually you drown in its suffocating viscosity. I asked Sandy to continue narrating her experience and she told me that his family was against the marriage; “they told him that I was loose and that he should get married to a virgin. They warned him that I would corrupt his children and reminded him that I was from a different religion. His mother hated how I dressed no matter how modest. All my attempts at communication failed but I was heads over heels in love with him to read the warning signs. He assured me that he loved me and that he was not willing to give up his soul mate.”

Her eyes welled as she told me her story. I tried to be as empathetic as possible but I was growing angrier by the minute. I naturally assumed that her guy was a lowlife Egyptian male parasite who wanted a way out of the country or easy sex. Because un-Egyptian women are not as class conscious, they miss out on all the “low-class” signals that his body language, address, grooming, verbiage, phonetics, and interests give away. I was wrong! “He is an AUC graduate and the descendant of one of the biggest families in Egypt. He had the looks, the manners, the class, the charm, and the money. He was so open-minded and understanding – I have never met anyone who was as perfect.” Sandy corrected me.

I was more than curious to know what could go wrong with such a compatible intercultural union. “We got married amongst his friends. His family did not attend but this was natural in my country; we were two responsible adults and we were in charge of our life-altering decisions. After marriage, he began changing; suddenly he had hurtful comments about my wardrobe, more hurtful comments about my public demeanor, and … he hit me! He told me that he loved me but suddenly his love began suffocating me. I realized that I got married to a very jealous possessive insecure spoilt violent person!”
Again I identified with every word she said. I KNOW our men! I asked Sandy about the frequency and the intensity of the jealousy fits and the violence attacks and she told me that it became on daily basis; “the tender loving caring man that I fell in love with disappeared. I was stuck with a person who mastered ignoring me, and when he looked at me, he told me that I was ugly and needed plastic surgery.” With her long golden locks tied back in a ponytail, Sandy was looking at me with deep blue eyes that rested on pink cheeks. She was flawless pretty! But I am fully aware of the self-esteem blows that our men know how to perfectly aim.

After a year of suffering and utter misery, Sandy got a divorce … and a son! A single foreign mother in Egypt could be quiet traumatizing. I asked her why she did not go back to her country; she told me that her Egyptian god threatened to take away her son. To add a more dramatic denouement to this repetitive farce, Sandy told me that after their divorce, he got married to a veiled Egyptian girl and that he stopped sending her alimony. This was when she went to the embassy and that was when they told her “we told you so!”

Just writing about this topic clogs my arteries; seriously, I cannot breathe! Sandy and her story is the trigger behind this article but I have witnessed many other stories that started with “he was so sweet” and ended in “he hit me” or “he walked out on me” or “I hate Egyptian men”. Even the girls who were spared the marriage disaster still enjoyed a rough ride on the dating arena. Sandy told me that her countrymen could still bully their women and that they were far from perfect, but at least they were honest, straightforward, and took marriage seriously. Like many Egyptian girls, she felt that he cheated his way into her heart and that he tricked her into loving him. It was ironic though, how Sandy thought that Egyptian women were best equipped to deal with their men.

49 comments:

N.E.C. said...

Perhaps what Sandy meant when she stated that Egyptian women are "best equipped" to deal with their men was that Egyptian women have an idea of what they might be getting into and therefore can expect some abuse. Or I guess, that is the impression I got when I read your post.

I certainly knew what I was getting into when I dated Egyptian men. I'm an Egyptian who lives abroad and married to a foreigner. I didn't marry the first Western man that came my way, but I remember at some point, I refused to get involved with Arab men in general. I had plenty of them as friends (and I use the term friends loosely), but any kind of romantic or intimate involvement was out of the question, because I saw what my friends did to their wives/girlfriends.

That's not to say that all Egyptian men are abusive. On the contrary, there are many who possess liberal thinking and respect women. However, the majority of Egyptian men (the ones I know at any rate) are still under the impression that they are somehow superior to women physically and intellectually and that gives them the right to beat on their partners.

But if Sandy meant to say that Egyptian women are aware of the nature of Egyptian men, and that it's easy to get away with abusing women in Egypt, whether emotionally or physically, then I agree with her.

I am completely disheartened by the number of Egyptian women who actually believe that men are superior to women, and that victims of abuse deserved it or (a more common phrase) "brought it on themselves". I think in that sense Sandy meant that Egyptian women are best equipped. Perhaps the proper word would've been "best oppressed".

Oppression at it's best. A sad state of affairs indeed.

Fantasia said...

I feel so sorry for Sandy.. OMG! That must have been the worst experience of her life anywhere in the world. It's not that there are no abusive European men.. but she could have easily sorted her problems with any of them.
Thinking of it, what she said makes much sense. Yes we are much better equipped to deal with Egyptian men. As painful as it is to admit, we should face the fact that Egyptian women spoiled Egyptian men. They brought out the worst in them. Sandy's ex-husband had his mother backing him, and probably she was the one who chose his new veiled wife.
Those monsters were created inside our homes. They didn't just come out of nowhere to make women's lives miserable. If Sandy was Egyptian, she wouldn't have considered her husband's crticism, neglect, jealousy, or even hitting her, to be sufficient reasons for divorce. Egyptian women endure all kinds of humiliation from their husbands. Of course they are not happy to receive such treatment. They suffer and they hurt and they get angry, but go on living with those husbands. Women here don't ask for divorce to save their wounded ego or to avoid more humiliation. They may think of leaving their husbands only if they were extremely violent.
Women here expect to be treated by their husbands as inferiors. Anything other than that will be considered as an exception.
Do you think that Egyptian men will be alarmed when they learn about how foreigners perceive them?.. Oh ho ho.. NO. They will hear that and feel proud. They think that this makes them real men.. Oriental men.. tough men.. Unlike the sassy Europeans who have to respect their wives.
And girls will read this warning and feel happy that they won't have to compete with foreign women. All they care about is getting married.
I am starting to lose hope, Marwa. Those who read our posts and are moved by them are those who agree with what we say. They are the few exceptions who think differently and who seek communicating with others who share the same views. But those whom we wish to change do not care to hear what we say. They like things the way they are. To them we are crazy and our minds are corrupted.. intoxicated with some Western ideas that are against our traditions.
Uhhh.. Sorry if I sounded too depressing. You're really doing a great job. You know that. I just wanted to let those feelings out before they suffocate me.

Anonymous said...

I'm not accusing Sandy of lying, since I do not know her but I feel sorry for her failure in hope and love. What I want to know is the other side of the story. Throughout my life the truth and history have two faces hence it depends on who is writing the actuaries.

Rieka said...

Will those Egyptian men as the target of this posting read and realize their mistakes?

You are the journalist in Egypt, you can tell about this issue on the syndicate of journalist.

Regards

rieka said...

Please raise issue about it in the syndicate of journalist in Cairo now, cause he's there.

(out of record)

Mo'men said...

I'll tackle the issue from a statistical point of view; you took a sample (Egyptian men) out of a population (Men in general) and attributed the "abuse" feature to them. As far as I comprehend; Men in general do change after marriage and a great deal of them are indeed abusive towards the spouses, So it's only fair to say that men are abusive "if you wish to slander/document :P" rather than Egyptian men are abusive.

When you talk about testosterone, it's pretty much universal, when you talk about Egyptians (both genders); it's pretty much dysfunctional.

So you can put it this way; Egyptian men are dysfunctional abusive partners and women are better off without them, cause you don't want both bad traits "Egyptian" and "man" in a person to commit too...

And I'm being sarcastic btw ..

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

i agree with anonymous, we need to hear the other party story

but generally
man superiority is a disease, that can be redeemed by setting basic rules from the very first day of the relationship

if a woman respect herself, the man will respect her

if the woman is independant financially, the man wont dare to use money against her

men 3'er tatwil, what i wanna say is that it is easy to blame men, but i am trying in this phase of my life to understand why they turned to be like this... and to what extent women share in this transformation

my warmest regards to you dear

R.Elgayar said...

Another revealing look at the not so pretty side of Egyptian society. Thank God there are some loving caring Egyptian men who respect women and I know this for sure. But I agree that alot do not. But I also believe Egyptian women are a big part of the problem. They have to stop spoiling their sons and doting on them and raising them with the notion that they are superior to women. They need to raise their daughters to be independent and that their identity doesnt depend on a man. Women looking for a husband need to quit being so shallow and instead of worrying about some big fancy wedding the guy probably cant afford, they need to be more concerned about his character and morals, not just his money. And when they are married, the women should have some self respect and not allow themselves to be treated like door matts and walked all over. And again back to the mothers, the mothers have got to stop telling their daughters they have to respect the men who treat them this way and it is the daughter's fault for this behavior. This mentality will never change until women stop perpetuating this shit and accepting this abusive behavior as proof of a good strong man in control. And it will never change as long as women continue to critize and label other women who think this abuse is wrong and evil, as loose immoral women who dont appreciate good strong Egyptian men.

ياسمين شعيتو said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marwa Rakha said...

Guys & Girls I am sorry but I will refrain from commenting on this post at all ... I will try to be as objective and as removed as possible ... Those of you who know me in person or who have been reading my blog posts for long know exactly where I stand.

VanillaBullshit said...

I think your blog amounts to little more than self-aggrandizement.

I know all too well about the sad state of egyptian men and the way they treat their spouses, however, egyptian women are really nothing to write home about, they are afflicted with the same social malaise as their male counterparts.

Let's take you for example, someone who beleives herself to be superior because she has "white" skin, sorry to burst your bubble but you're just one among millions of ethnocentric egyptian women who believe themselves to be superior based on fair skin.

Jefferey Dahmer had fair skin too, he also killed people and ate them, but you can overlook that since he's so shiny & white, hence superior to "disgusting brown people".

So you take one bad example and paint millions of egyptian men with the same brush; let's apply your logic to the other side of the coin:

Do not get involved with egyptioan women.

Egyptian women will not be satisfied with you, an egyptian man, unless you relenquish complete control over to the little harpy bitch and put your balls in her purse.

She cares only about status, wealth and being a "social butterfly" i.e. she needs to be the center of attention all the time.

Egyptian women will try to make their egyptian spouses into their sons, because that's what their mothers told them; upon first meeting, an egyptian woman will always seek out her egyptian man's female relatives, and they will form an axis of pure fucking evil against said man, trading secrets on how to manipulate him, what makes him angry, how to really wind him up.

This goes on throughout the entire relationship, the man's mother taking a strange woman's side over her own son.

The misandry & subtle hatred in your posts is not unfamiliar, the barely contained venom reeks thru most of what you spout.

I'm torn between thinking, well, like millions of others she's a product of her environment; but then I think, I've met people who have been here all their lives but they're not this narrow-minded...

Today's "marwa-logic" lesson has been brought to you by the letter R for Retard and the letter M for Misandrist.

BTW, there are currently two poets online, you & my dick, and you sure as shit ain't no Mary Shelley.

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello again Vanilla BS ... I am flattered!!! You absolutely hate my blogs yet you keep coming back ..emmm ... I guess I should say thank you.

Thank you also for the eidts you sent (I will disregard the rape message though)

I will also not comment about your very own typos here because the content of your message is quite valuable.

Speaking of which ... I do consider myself superior but not because of my fair skin - not sure where you got that idea.

Narrow-minded? me? maybe ... but narrow-minded is certainly a person who would let his "dick" sign such an odd comment.

VanillaBullshit said...

I've been reading for a few months and made two comments. That hardly constitutes hatred, or flattery for that matter. Hatred requires alot of effort & is completely counterproductive.

:)

I'm curious, please share, why you think you're superior?


You're welcome for the 'eidts' :D

Marwa Rakha said...

:) Vanilla BS ... how did you make my face do that? A smile and a smirk at the same time ... I am scaring the cats!

I will tell you why I am superior if you tell me why your comments are super aggressive - with the exception of that one?:) Quid pro quo, deal?

VanillaBullshit said...

No, no deal.

Using your own logic, you owe me for two lengthy comments that you had apprently nothing to say about, save for "the content is quite valuble".

I was interested in getting some feedback, of which you provided none.

You probably thought no one would challenge the things you say here, didn't you?

You mentioned somethng about "heated debate" did you not? Yes, you did.

Back to why you think you're superior.

Nice try, Hannibelle, it's your move.

Marwa Rakha said...

The comments were about "me" not about my "logic":) This is why you did not get the "heated debate":)

Ask me a direct question about my stance and you "might" get an argument ... ask me a personal question ... you get a question in return:)

PS I like you:)

vanillabullshit said...

How about you dispense with the bum-fluffery and give me some direct feedback on what I said about Egyptian women?

Marwa Rakha said...

Ok .. let's see ... you wrote: "Egyptian women will not be satisfied with you, an Egyptian man, unless you relinquish complete control over to the little harpy bitch and put your balls in her purse.

She cares only about status, wealth and being a "social butterfly" i.e. she needs to be the center of attention all the time.

Egyptian women will try to make their Egyptian spouses into their sons, because that's what their mothers told them; upon first meeting, an Egyptian woman will always seek out her Egyptian man's female relatives, and they will form an axis of pure fucking evil against said man, trading secrets on how to manipulate him, what makes him angry, how to really wind him up.

This goes on throughout the entire relationship, the man's mother taking a strange woman's side over her own son."

I am not very fond of most Egyptian women ... so I will have to agree with you that many Egyptian women have turned into evil manipulative bitches who are after the money and the package of a man ... not after a person.

In one of my posts "women are like ducks" .. I talked about that into more detail.

The thing is .. the women you dislike were created by mothers who were married to the type of men that I dislike ...

Those mothers have suffered all sorts of humiliation be it betrayal or emotional abuse to the extent of giving birth to a poisoned breed of "ducks" & "dicks"

Such mothers taught their girls to hunt a man's purse ... to chain his balls ... to mess up his brains ... and that is the only survival strategy they know.

Those girls were trained to lie because they were taught that men do not appreciate the truth.

They were trained to fake "everything" because being genuine does not earn them any bonus points.

They were taught the laws of domestic espionage to keep the man leached.

Yes .. you are right .. there are lots of those ... but go back to the beginning of my comment to remember where they came from.

vanillabullshit said...

Thank you, finally some truth!

"Domestic Espionage"

I like this phrase, I'm gonna steal it.

I disagree tho as to 'where they came from' - this is purely a chicken & the egg argument; how far do we have to go back to determine the very first emotionally abusive individual who suppressed their offspring and started this big ball of complete emotional dysfuntion rolling?

I'd like to go back in time and murder the dildo that instituted all this patriarchal horseshit, it's achieved nothing productive, not only that, it's causing people to tighten thier grip on religion even more. They see this as being pious, but due to the fact that being genuine is not rewarded as you so astutely pointed out, they end up sprinkling everything they do with big doses of hypocrisy, lies & heresy.

What we end up with is a pathetic facade, a cosmetic display of piousness, which is anything but deep down inside.

Suffice to say that today, the role of "religion" serves only to perpetuate the misogynistic ideals of a bunch of old eunuchs, these men have been rendered handicapped due to a lack of testicular fortitude prerequisite for embracing women, rather than oppress them, and integrating them into society fully, socially, politically, economically, sexually (!!!), they're the other half of society for fuck's sake, and look where we stand today.

Men stand with their dicks in their hand, waving it around like a baton at any random woman. The women however have their claws poised and ready to grab onto the next available pair of balls that presents itself, most likely one of the aforementioned men who neglected the old adage, careful what you wish for.

vanillabullshit said...

And for god's sake, it's "over & out"!

How can you say "out", as in you're signing off, then say "over" thereby confusing the crap out of the person on the other end?!


I couldn't resist.

Marwa Rakha said...

I will reply to the "out and over" part first:)

Think of me ... think of my character ... of my writings .... It would make sense to you why it has to be "out" before it is "over"

Marwa Rakha said...

So now Vanilla BS you are dragging me into an argument about religion ... emmm .... this is too hard to resist ... well all I could tell you is that I have been on that front and I fully understand and relate to what you are saying.

I have another post about questioning the teachings of religion "in the absence of light darkness prevails" ...

We are in 3eid now ... I am sure that Om essam and Om Mo'men would rather take a few hundred pounds than a sac of meat .... but because people always neglect the essence and stick to the face value of things, we are where we are now.

Do us both a favor and leave that box of worms closed

vanillabullshit said...

No, I don't get what you mean but anyway, that was just me being sarcastic coz that's what I do.

So religion has been flogged to death and then some, fine, we can move past that since we see eye to eye, somewhat.

You get me all revved up and then say keep that can o'worms closed, ok fine, then how about an answer to your grandiose, self-proclaimed superiority?

Lay it on me your highness.

Anonymous said...

its all about islam , the source of all evils, "AGAIN as usual"!!!!!

Marwa Rakha said...

Not really anonymous ... There is nothing wrong with God or his words ... it is the faulty human being who is to blame ... Islam did not say any of the crap that we have to go through now

Snowlion said...

Vanilla, I can't say why SHE thinks so, but i would say that Marwa is superior because quite simply, anyone who is being observant, who is analyzing, maintaining awareness in the face of difficult issues, and willing to communicate about them truthfully, IS superior.

Sad to say, and i don't particularly like the labels, but objectively, people who are hiding, denying, and avoiding such crucial and pervasive issues as these, are acting in an 'inferior' way.

If you think that speaking your truth, being willing to engage with hateful aggressive types in the name of dialogue, and working hard to point out unwelcome realities requires bravery and principles, as i do, perhaps you could acknowledge that being constructive in this way DOES make someone superior to those who stubbornly and purposely remain blind.

It takes courage to shine light in the dark. If you would emerge from your reflexive aggressiveness and contribute to productive analysis, you would realize this. Instead, all you do is confirm the bullshit Egyptian women have to put up with when finally speaking the truth. Why not try wielding that light yourself? And no, personal attacks don't count.

Marwa Rakha said...

Thank you snowlion

Anonymous said...

Hiya all.
well not my views here but more to the fact my experience which I find most blogs are indeed.
I met my 'love' online..actually a dating site yes..I hear you all sigh already..
Just to clarify I am a qualified practising doctor in australia and ex model so I am not one to have issues in meeting or dating men. Of course he is Egyptian and was working in Saudi Arabia at the time. I speak Arabic as I worked in Riyadh for 8 years in medical so was more than enthusiastic to continue a conversation with Mohamed to attach me to the reminaisance of my past time there. Well we grew very attached and after only two months he proposed theough only interent remembering we had never met. I agreed after too many wines perhaps and flew to cairo four months later. Well just to finish the fairytale, we have been now married for two years, he is the most beautiful awesome man I have ever met, he showers me with love and gifts, never speaks a harsh work or criticises me and allows me my freedom to be me. He and I are never apart for longer than a day and cherish each other so much. And yes...I am 45 and he is 28..love can happen even in the greyest form of doubt.

Anonymous said...

I am in the worst dilemma ever. My sister, a Singapore Muslim was married to an American who converted for her. She was a normal person, but in the last 3 months, she decided to embrace Islam in depth. She joined IslamOnline website and made contact with many other men from Middle East, especially a particular one from EGYPT. He claimed to be a good guidance and he offered to help her to learn more about Islam, being her husband for life. And that with his proper guidance, she will head to heaven.

This is unbelievable, when she told us two days ago, she is divorcing her current husband to be with this man who she knew for just 2 months ONLINE. She seemed completely brainwashed and was even willing to ignore my parents request not to. She insisted on flying to EGYPT straight from USA and marry this man, whom we don't even know his name.

We are worried sick for her safety. My mother was going literally crazy. We persuaded her to come to Singapore first to get some counselling. It was a hard job to get her agreeement to do so. She is on flight as I am typing this, and will be seeing her in SG this Saturday. She already told us in 2 weeks time, she will depart for EGYPT to marry this man. We are hoping if this is the last 2 weeks we have left with her, we hope the counselling will change her mind.

She was married to the perfect husband for 4 years. Its tragic to hear she is ending it for a man who uses religion to brainwash her completely. We don't know what he has up his sleeves, but we are not surprised if he is a human trafficker after young beautiful woman such as my sister.

We are losing our sanity. We are hoping she will regain sense whilst she is in Singapore.

Anonymous said...

I had experienced the same and even worse one with an Egyptian man. And Yes, He was also from an educated and rich family. I am so thankfull that I and my son are away from him right now. I am trying not to look back but be happy that I have a son and will be able to raise him as a good man, respectful to everybody. Well, I wont get into detail here but I am sure not every Egyptian man are the same but I am also sure that MOST OF THEM ARE LIKE THIS. JUST BE CAREFULL!

Anonymous said...

I met my Egyptian husband 4 years ago in Cairo, at the time I was working and living there. We got married after six months and as soon as I put my signature on the marriage contract, he changed overnight. There was no partnership, no sharing, no transparency etc. More often than not, I spent evenings and weekends on my own, trying to hold down a full time job and being responsible for the household and the bills. I wasn't allowed to question him, if I did that, he would just sulk and not talk to me, sometimes for weeks on end. My husband always seemed to have money problems. He manipulated me into giving up everything I liked about my life in Cairo. After a year of being married we went to Europe on holidays. He wanted to go to a casino, I went along and he lost a big amount of money. After I gave him a hard time about it, he did not talk to me for 3 days. He cut the holidays short due to a claimed sudden death of a family member.
Eventually I moved back to the UK and after several months he followed me. As soon as he arrived I got an email from his employer in Egypt saying that he had embezzled money from them. Within days, he would revert to his old lifestyle, stay out all night and attend casinos. He lost thousands, leaving me to cope with the stress of paying all the bills on my own and having a very demanding job with a heavy travel schedule. After a couple of months I told him to leave the house. He refused and in the end I had him removed by the police. He went into counseling for the gambling and landed himself a full time job. We got back together again after three months and yet again, he screwed it up. This is where I am at today. I don't know how to get rid of him, he refuses to leave the house and every time I dare to say anything against him, he becomes abusive and manipulative. There is no communication and no accountability. He hides everything including his mobile phone and bank statements. I just want my old life back, I was happy and balanced before I met him. I learned the hard way, a leopard does not change his spots.

mary said...

Being from Canada I have to really wonder why I thought that seeing, talking to, being around, dating or marrying an Egyptian man would be so easy and wonderful. I read how everything from head to toe and front to back of both female and male are sadly torn apart and flipped inside out to discriminate against them. Being of First nations native and Irish decent I can understand the differences in everything from culture to color of everything. For me there was much more to try to understand as I was adopted by white American army vets of Veitnam. adding their culture and beliefs to the already confusing and frustration culture mess I was this issue of Egyptian people is unbelievable.I am so glad that I stepped back and did some research on these people first before becoming involved with a man in this country. My life is complicated enough having three different people and cultures in my family that dont like each other as well as many of the same culture not liking half breeds. and I thought my head was twisted up.

Chalk Eaters said...

I do not feel sorry for the stupid low self esteem western White women who converted to Islam for a man. The convert's will not be Muslim's for long. True Egyptians are people of color. They prefer full figured women and will never see pale faced PINK SKIN women as beautiful. These Muslim bastards hate us because of our freedom. They come from a country where sex is not a choice nor is it freely practiced. Dating is not allowed. Many Egyptian men marry their first cousin in an arranged marriage. They do not like outsider's. So if you marry one, don't expect to meet his family because it's not happening. I love my western culture and won't give up my freedom so fast!

Ps. You better take an HIV/AIDS test fast because 85% of Egyptian men have engaged in homosexual activity.

maichel said...

very nice post

Finding The Right Partner and Finding True Love

Zack said...

The article might be a little too harsh on Egyptian men. I am an Egyptian and am happily married to a European.I love her so much and I thank God for blessing me with her. We have been married for almost 7 years now and I think these were the best years of my life. I have a lot of Egyptian friends who are happily married to Americans and Europeans. I cannot deny that there are very bad examples of Egyptian men out there. I hope that those bad Egyptian husbands would start learning about the duties of the husband in Islam and use the example of the Prophet Muhammad as a role model.

Among the most impressive verses in the Quran about marriage is the following.

“And among His signs is this: That He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest, peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect.” (Quran 30:2 1).

Prophet Muhammad. (P) said:

The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family.

The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)

Behold, many women came to Muhammad’s wives complaining against their husbands (because they beat them) – those (husbands) are not the best of you.

Women are a blessing from God and they should be treated with utmost respect and reverence. I can't imagine my life without the influence of the great women who contributed to it; my mother, my aunt, my grandma, my sister and my lovely wife, God bless them all.

tybullard said...

Regardless of the arguements everyone is having on this blog...the real fact is...it is not just Egyptian men doing this...it is all abusive man in many ethnic groups. I am a muli-cultural American with American Indian, African American and "the always white is right" running through my veins. I have family members at our reunions of all races and some are married to foreigners. I am currently engaged to an Egyptian man. What I want to say is after being married twice to American men and never being abused by either of them...I have witnessed the same abuse and superiority that you speak of but it is with American men and their inferior American wives and girlfriends...white, black, indian, latinos, etc. It is simply unfair to say that this behavior only applies to one culture. When you get as old as I am and have seen the things I have, and dealt with as many races....then I think you can have a pretty accurate opinion on just one culture. From reading your blog and your comments...I do not see where you can correctly base this unfounded fact that women need to be aware of EGYPTIAN MEN. Women need to be aware of ALL ABUSIVE MEN, should have been the topic. It sounds like you have been hurt and now dispies Egyptian men because of your past pain...regardless if you are of the same race or not. People are people...it does not matter where they come from or how they were raised. If you live your life according to these factors...then the world would be seriously "F"d up. If this is the case...I would hate everyone in this world that do not look like me...brown skinned, with dark eyes and long wavy hair. And I suspect that I would hate and castrate all men because I was a victim of sexual abuse. My point is...just because you see something, or experienced something bad, or was taught something wrong...it does not dictate the person that you become as an adult. You make that decision regardless of upbringing and culture. It is just wrong to put all these beautiful, wonderful and loving men in the same box with a few bad ones and close the lid on them. We keep the good apples and throw the bad ones out. It is seriously RE-RE (that's retarded 2xs) to toss the whole lot.

Excuse the typos and mispelled words please...it is not important to me...my point is. Peace

Oscar said...

Interesting article but i really don't like the Post subject relation ship warning If sandy field in her relation, So i think there are a reason whether from her or him . Your hands finger aren't the same, How did u know that all egyption men are bad to be involved . how did u know that all of other relationship between Egyption and foreigner didn't work and ended by divorce , about me , in my opinion , i know that the problem in the foreign Woman , not from the man side , but i can't say that all women are the same . So you have to say that just for your near friend to advice you , or to just comfurt , not in public to describe in wrong way .

many Thanx

Oscar said...

Interesting article but i really don't like the Post subject relation ship warning If sandy field in her relation, So i think there are a reason whether from her or him . Your hands finger aren't the same, How did u know that all egyption men are bad to be involved . how did u know that all of other relationship between Egyption and foreigner didn't work and ended by divorce , about me , in my opinion , i know that the problem in the foreign Woman , not from the man side , but i can't say that all women are the same . So you have to say that just for your near friend to advice you , or to just Comfort ur self, not in public to describe in wrong way .

many Thanx

Oscar said...

Interesting article but i really don't like the Post subject relation ship warning If sandy field in her relation, So i think there are a reason whether from her or him . Your hands finger aren't the same, How did u know that all egyption men are bad to be involved . how did u know that all of other relationship between Egyption and foreigner didn't work and ended by divorce , about me , in my opinion , i know that the problem in the foreign Woman , not from the man side , but i can't say that all women are the same . So you have to say that just for your near friend to advice you , or to just Comfort ur self, not in public to describe in wrong way .

many Thanx

SamiJ said...

I feel bad for Sandy and wonder myself about Arab men in general. Then again, I also see two sides to the story as some people have posted. I am American and I have yet to meet an American man that is committed and loving. American men do the same exact thing and this country when a woman gets beat she gets a retraining order from the court. Americans also know that restraining order is about as strong as the paper it's written on. What I'm getting at is that men/women are just that men/women. We are not perfect and we all do wrong things. Some of us don't. There are so many factors that play into all of this. My arab (palestinian) claimed to be a Muslim (which I am) and loving and kind. Now, we are divorced. I found out he is a liar, cheater, user, self-centered, emotionless man. He pays child support to not get deported but never comes to see his son. Sounds like many American dead beat parents to me. It is hard to take a culture and bubble them in one group. Sometimes we women have a hard time discerning things when we are in love (men too). It is better to be objective and not hopeless. I wish Sandy all the luck in her future.

SamiJ said...

I feel bad for Sandy and wonder myself about Arab men in general. Then again, I also see two sides to the story as some people have posted. I am American and I have yet to meet an American man that is committed and loving. American men do the same exact thing and this country when a woman gets beat she gets a retraining order from the court. Americans also know that restraining order is about as strong as the paper it's written on. What I'm getting at is that men/women are just that men/women. We are not perfect and we all do wrong things. Some of us don't. There are so many factors that play into all of this. My arab (palestinian) claimed to be a Muslim (which I am) and loving and kind. Now, we are divorced. I found out he is a liar, cheater, user, self-centered, emotionless man. He pays child support to not get deported but never comes to see his son. Sounds like many American dead beat parents to me. It is hard to take a culture and bubble them in one group. Sometimes we women have a hard time discerning things when we are in love (men too). It is better to be objective and not hopeless. I wish Sandy all the luck in her future.

CWKhalil said...

I think you, stating that all Egyptian men are exactly the same is incorrect. There are abusive Egyptian men, and there are men who would never raise a hand on their woman. You cant say all Egyptian men are the same, because if all Egyptian men are the same, then all Egyptian women are the same, and since you fall into that category, then one can assume you are the typical "lying, selfish, drama queen who has no independence, no self esteem, and believes that a man is superior to her, and that her husband can't cook, clean, help with the house work, or the kids, cause hey, he's the man" right?? You might want to rethink your perspective on this. Egyptian men aren't the only men capable of spousal violence, negligence, and change after marriage. And if one must "Stay away" from those men, then I believe it's best to stay away from all men, cause there's a possibility that all of them are exactly the same in other societies as well.

keesh said...

All relationships need a little pick-me-up sometimes--even the best of them. If you feel like your relationship isn’t quite what it used to be, there are some things you can do to improve it and keep your fire burning.

kelly6726 said...

my first husband was egyptian do not under any circumstances get involved with a man from egypt they are abusive and hurtful

kelly6726 said...

do not trust egyptians i am divorced from one the are abusive and hurtful

Mohaly said...

You know what is worse than being a woman harassed or abused by Egyptian Man?!
The worse is being an Egyptian man with a totally different way of thinking who is being attacked by Egyptian men and considered "soft" for defending women, and at the same time being feared by foreign women because he is an "Egyptian Man"!!

Clo clo said...

I think that they become abusive when envious and jealous friends , family and society dictates them that they should not marry a foreigner or a woman that smokes cigarettes or wear certain clothes... men are a scarce commodity in egypt and a source of revenue (etc) for most egyptian females (pushed by their families). Men become so easily influenced and manipulated that they start hating the woman they re with. just because his friends and relatives had another option in mind for him that suit "them" better. As much as women are victims, these men are victims too but harder to understand it. They also suffer from "image" and the "others" syndrome. Only a very confident, strong and REAL man can actually overcome this & be with the woman he really loves and be happy.

jm mesina said...

Hi everyone...I felt so sad about Sandy's experience to an egyptian man. I myself also had almost similar experience of Sandy. I am an asian woman working in middle east. A decent and educated woman like me got trapped by this magical spell of this quite deceiving egytpian man who is my colleague in the company im working with. It was 2008 and i was new in that country. I was 23 years old that time and he was 24 years old. He is so very nice guy and very attractive. He is like a boy next door type. He showed me the best treatment ever that every woman dreams to be treated. A red rose everyday and a passionate text messages that made me fall into his dangerous spell. After 3 months of dating he started to open up about marriage. In our culture marriage proposal means forever and to be committed with someone forever. Without thinking twice i accepted his proposal. Though many of my friends and even my mom told me not to get involve with egyptian men. They are wife beaters. And they like to manipulate and control there woman. I ignore there advices and still continue to marry him. OMG! Months after our marriage he became a MONSTER a BEAST. A Horror i can tell. So possessive and negative thinker.Always he thinks im flirting with other men. I got so suffocated and try to ger reid of him. A battered wife. He dont accept his own mistakes he thinks what he think and do is all ryt! That time converted to his same relgion and even study there religion. And even veiled myself. He even deleted my relatives and friends numbers in my phone, only he left his number and my moms number. I even agreed to divert all calls and messages to his phone. A psychopath i can describe him. Every 3 minutes i need to miscall him. If i fail to do that he will get as mad as u can imagine. After his last beating on me. I decided to get the police involved. And do my medical exam for evidence for his brutal beating. And ask my rights and divorce. He dont accept my request for divorce. He told his egyptian friends different story. A story full of lies about me. And he ask me to put down the police case.But i was so hard at him and he left the country went back to his home. Such a coward! :(

jm mesina said...

Hi everyone...I felt so sad about Sandy's experience to an egyptian man. I myself also had almost similar experience of Sandy. I am an asian woman working in middle east. A decent and educated woman like me got trapped by this magical spell of this quite deceiving egytpian man who is my colleague in the company im working with. It was 2008 and i was new in that country. I was 23 years old that time and he was 24 years old. He is so very nice guy and very attractive. He is like a boy next door type. He showed me the best treatment ever that every woman dreams to be treated. A red rose everyday and a passionate text messages that made me fall into his dangerous spell. After 3 months of dating he started to open up about marriage. In our culture marriage proposal means forever and to be committed with someone forever. Without thinking twice i accepted his proposal. Though many of my friends and even my mom told me not to get involve with egyptian men. They are wife beaters. And they like to manipulate and control there woman. I ignore there advices and still continue to marry him. OMG! Months after our marriage he became a MONSTER a BEAST. A Horror i can tell. So possessive and negative thinker.Always he thinks im flirting with other men. I got so suffocated and try to ger reid of him. A battered wife. He dont accept his own mistakes he thinks what he think and do is all ryt! That time converted to his same relgion and even study there religion. And even veiled myself. He even deleted my relatives and friends numbers in my phone, only he left his number and my moms number. I even agreed to divert all calls and messages to his phone. A psychopath i can describe him. Every 3 minutes i need to miscall him. If i fail to do that he will get as mad as u can imagine. After his last beating on me. I decided to get the police involved. And do my medical exam for evidence for his brutal beating. And ask my rights and divorce. He dont accept my request for divorce. He told his egyptian friends different story. A story full of lies about me. And he ask me to put down the police case.But i was so hard at him and he left the country went back to his home. Such a coward! :(