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Friday, May 11, 2007

Good Riddance!


To: All the Narcist Jerks I know … and to those I do not know
From: Marwa Rakha – on behalf of all women
Subject: I do not love you … I do not even like you


Date: Now and forever
__________________________________________________

Dear Narcist Jerk

Please do not take this letter personally; I neither mean insult nor injury. I am writing to you on behalf of all the females that I know, and those that I do not know. Who? You know who; the doormats. Oh please, do not give me that face!

To be more specific, I am representing the women who stay in relationships with worthless men like your kind self; women who have no demands; who give without expectations; whose return on investment is your humble smirk. Yes, the ones who can do much better but because of some fatal flaw with their self perception, they settle for half the man they deserve. Oops! Did that hurt?

Hold your horses! I am not done yet! I have not even started! Let me remind you of the long list of your offences; falsifying a male ID on the grounds of facial hair and protrusions, theft of their hearts, deception to gain access to their lives, evading liability relating to any of your actions, trespassing to other feminine pastures, assault of their friends, battery of their ego, unlawful wounding of their self-esteem, wounding with intent of their pride, recklessness throughout the relationship, negligence of their needs, intimidation and threats, conspiracy against their peace of mind, and murder of their happily ever after dreams.

If I were to sentence you to prison for all your crimes, I would sentence you to an eternity of loneliness and suffering. I would have you stoned for every tear a woman shed for you. I would have you whipped for every dagger-of-a-word you threw in her heart. Like a plucked chicken, I would toss you in boiling water for every jealous moment you caused her. I would stick an iron rod in each ear that would not listen to her desperate pleas. Should be broken, those fingers that hurt when they promised to heal. Should have been cut …. I will let you figure that one out on your own!

She wanted you strong to protect her not to bully her; handsome to please her sight not to torture her wits; rebellious to support her causes not to offend her logic; imaginative to fly with you not to get caught in your entangled webs; sensitive to understand her not to confuse her; determined to lean on you not to suffer your well-launched attacks; eloquent to appeal to her mind not to flirt with her friends; charming to give her pride not shame.

How could you live with yourself? On a merry-go-round, you sent her heart racing standstill shadows and fighting lost battles. You exhausted her senses on your swing; one day, she touched the stars in the sky, and the next day she licked the dust off the ground. You played her like a ruthless circus trainer; you gave her sugar when she performed tricks for you, and I could hear her trumpet in agony when your sharp metal hook, with the spiked end, tore through her sensitive skin.

What excuses have you to offer? You told her you were confused and depressed. You said you were a mess from within. You pleaded innocent when you were guilty as charged! Did you not ask for her help? Was it not you who needed her support? Were you not the illegitimate child of receding passion? Have you not suffered the withdrawal symptoms of love? Had she not held your hand through your suffering? Was it not for her ears, who would have listened to you? Was it not for her wise words, who would have consoled you?

Now you sit back and judge her? Now you list her faults and flaws? Now you point a finger at her weakness? Today you turn your back to her? Today you no longer want to be with her? Today she repels you when only yesterday she was never close enough? High time you smashed her wise head with your stupid words? Tomorrow you will wake up and forget all about her, and about all your crimes against her? What a pig! What a drag! What a narcist jerk!

Good Riddance

Marwa Rakha

27 comments:

Rafik Nakhla said...

Marwa,
Loneliness is tough sentence, but nerd acting with disregard and dismay to a partner deserves such sentence whether a male or female.
I feel a lot of bitterness in your post... take care

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

i"murder of the happily ever after dreams"

he killed the dreams, the human senses inside, the feelings of life, the good within!!

he took everything ... leaving an empty being ... a ghost.... who is condemned to suffer till the end of time just because she loved.

may i add one more thing!!
i wish you are dead.. no.. that would be a good thing for you ...i better say, i wish you get sick.. i wish you get so humiliated, i wish you are burned alive, to know how it feels to set a woman in emotional fire ...

fire of anger, jealousy, humiliation, controling her fate with a word from your filthy mouth, disable her from her natural powers.

i wish .. i just wish

Marwa Rakha said...

Dearest Dr. Rafik,

It was not me this time ... I just got too involved with a friend and her pain moved my pen.

I am ok:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Oh trapped soul .. your comments are painful ... so painful.

Again you are repeating a chapter in my life ...

I wanted him to be sick ... he had heart failure

I wanted him to suffer ... he lived with wires attached to his heart - the same heart that broke mine

I wanted him to die ... he died

The day I knew of his death, I was so angry ... how could he die and leave me to suffer?

Read Jenny's poison tree 1 & 2

Anonymous said...

Dearest Marwa,

as always ur a true friend, a friend who can feel her friends pain, u felt my pain and hurt almost as i did, u walked me through it, and u freed me from it, i wish one day i can do the same for u.

As for the narcist jerk, u don't have to worry he will not be insulted nor injured, he has no feelings nor sense to feel either, as he told me afterwards "never take anything in life seriously" he was giving me advice!!!!!!
you might have hurt his ego, that's it, because that's what he is full of and that's the only thing he cares about nothing more nothing less. As he personally told u "he felt so stupid", he made a fool out of himself, and he will go on making more of a fool out of it.


Moreover, u don't need to sentence him to anything, what goes around comes around , he will get what he deserves, one day he will pay a very high price for his selfishness, disrespect of values and people, through out my experience in life i have learned that no bad deeds goes unpunished nor good deeds unrewarded one way or another no matter after how long.
Though i like the cutting off part...who knows?

He is a mess from within, u nailed it, he is , he is blind in vision and at heart, senseless, he is absolutely hollow , that's worse than a mess, as i told u he will never be able to tell the difference between Gold and Brass even if it was written all over it with bold letters.

U know what, i have reached a point where i am not even angry at him, i pity him, he really deserves pity.
he will never feel love , will never feel loved, he will live in his lies the ones he says to others and the ones he tells himself , and when it comes to reality he will always be alone and lonely inside out even if he had all the women in the world around him, that deserves pity.

And who cares about him judging, who is he to judge anything or anyone.

As for me, no hurt, no pain, not even any regrets. No regrets for those feelings, because being able to have feelings is a blessing, and it's something to be proud of even if u had them for the undeserved and even if they hurt.
no regrets for the waste of time either I still have lots of better times ahead, I have peace with myself, and that’s something he will never be able to have.he did not kill my dreams, nor my feeling of life, he didn't take everything , i have yet a lot to offer but for those who deserve it.

And he will never forget about me, he will live the rest of his life regretting what he wasted and what his missing.

Yours
Amany

eyad harfoush said...

I guess I know that kind of Narcissist jerks you are talking about. Yet, I do not usually support the view of any relationship between man and woman as a criminal-victim relationship. I think this view is based on our culture that defines the man as the active party who attacks and the woman as the passive party who is cannibalized, in Arabic we have a passive voice to explain the woman role in sexual relation, and this does not exist in Latin or Anglo-Saxon languages. From the perspective of man-woman relationship as a free bilateral consent, I would to comment few points:

“Falsifying a male ID on the grounds of facial hair and protrusions” this is always the problem of ladies who evaluate manhood on the bases of facial hair and protrusions.

“Theft of their hearts, deception to gain access to their lives” hearts are never subject of theft, it is always willingly given, and access is usually voluntarily granted

“Evading liability relating to any of your actions, trespassing to other feminine pastures” this is very true, I agree it as jerk’s exclusive responsibility

“Assault of their friends, battery of their ego, unlawful wounding of their self-esteem, wounding with intent of their pride” this one takes to tango, it takes a man who is not into real love, and a woman who suffers from inferiority disorder to happen, otherwise he can never do it.

“Recklessness throughout the relationship, negligence of their needs, intimidation and threats, conspiracy against their peace of mind, and murder of their happily ever after dreams” this is not limited to men, at least 40% of females do the same behavior in different manners, it is because we are as a society impoverished in the talent of love for complex reasons

Shimaa Gamal said...

Marwa, you spoke of me.
I was the doormat, he was the man who left me with nothing but a paper and a pen and he was my guide in the valley of shadows, the shadow that darkened my life. He was the friend, the father, the lover, the husband, the playboy and the enemy.
I wrote but he never reads. Such jerks never read!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Eyad,

please allow me to answer u on behalf of marwa since i am the case she is talking about, first i hope u read my comment on the post.

1- our culture that defines the man as the active party who attacks and the woman as the passive party who is cannibalized

Well as for this culture, I am sure by now u know that marwa does not adopt such a culture and does not have a typical mentality, that applies to me too that’s why we are good friends.


2- Falsifying a male ID on the grounds of facial hair and protrusions” this is always the problem of ladies who evaluate manhood on the bases of facial hair and protrusions

As far as I got it marwa meant that this was his perception of manhood not mine ( as the lady here)and i assure u this is not at all my perception of men.

3- Theft of their hearts, deception to gain access to their lives” hearts are never subject of theft, it is always willingly given, and access is usually voluntarily granted

I guess u missed the deception part, based on that deception I agree they were willingly given and granted. but they were used and abused and that shouldn't be the case.


4- Assault of their friends, battery of their ego, unlawful wounding of their self-esteem, wounding with intent of their pride” this one takes to tango, it takes a man who is not into real love, and a woman who suffers from inferiority disorder to happen, otherwise he can never do it.

I agree that it took a man who is not in love, but I assure u that I am very far from feeling inferior ( by the way no offence taken) it took a woman who was in love , falsely mislead to believe that he cared , and I agree compromised a lot , but who doesn't when they are in love.


And finally I agree that both men and woman do these things, sometimes women can be just like men as cruel as they are as deceiving as they can be….etc, but marwa here was talking about a specific person a real experience not generally.

Marwa i hope you don't mind me talking on ur behalf, please correct me if I was wrong in any of the above

Amany

eyad harfoush said...

Dear Amany,

First of all, thank you for your civilized way of communication; I am sincerely raising my hat, as this is becoming a rare attitude. Secondly, I apologize as I did not read your previous comment before I post, so I did not understand it as a specific case. Regarding your valuable comments, hereunder my replies:

1- I know Marwa is not adopting such a belief, but it is beyond anyone who lives in our society to exclude its effect on his subconscious mind, we live in a patriarchal society and we all pay more or less price of this. Part of it is tilting our normal vision to emotional relationships, this might not apply to you or Marwa, but still applies to average publics.

2- Good you capitalize on deeper manhood meaning apart from hair n muscles. This decreases the possibilities of agony with men to a good extent

3- Right, when there is a deliberate deception it is an unethical conduct, I wonder why some men and women do it? Everything is available in life, every type of a person, why we should mislead someone if we can find another one who has similar destination like ours? I have no answer, but some people find deception is a smart act and a joy by itself.

4- I agree dear, we compromise a lot when we are haunted with love, yet, I prefer to put a role of “u love me, u love my dog”, it saves a lot as I consider it a red zone

Finally, I want to highlight a great statement I have just read in your last comment “because being able to have feelings is a blessing, and it's something to be proud of even if u had them for the undeserved and even if they hurt”, I really can never agree more. Love is life, even if unilateral, even when desperate, even when rejected, systole and diastole means alive body, love beats mean alive sole

Thanks for your kind reply, Regards

Marwa Rakha said...

I see that this post stirred a lot of emotions:)

Amany,

Your pain reminded me of one of my scars, just as it reminded trapped soul and Shimaa. I am glad I was there for you and I am happy that this jerk is finally out of your life.

Your responses to Eyad are correct, but I will address him separately in another comment.

Stay strong and read the comments of all those people - this time the comments are for you not for me:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello again Eyad:)

I went to bed early last night only to wake up today and find the interesting exchange between you and Amany:)

I will not go into the disgusting details of how our society weighs men and women differently - it is still too early in the morning.

I want to focus my reply on the victim role you mentioned.

I read before that there are three levels of consciousness; to me, by me, and through me.

To me, people feel like victims and everything happens to them is someone else's fault.

By me, people begin assuming responsibility for their actions and the outcomes of their actions. They trust that things happen for a reason and that they have a big role in the decisions that govern their lives.

Through me, is a sublime state of acceptance. People accept whatever fate hands them - willingly and happily.

People like me and Amany, and many others, are mainly in the "by me" phase. We relapse every now and then into the "to me" phase, but we snap out of it and take control of our lives again. There are also those great moments of peace where we are one with God.

We are human, and sometimes we the victims of nothing but our own character and our own flaws. So even if Amany, or I, were willingly victimized, it takes a lot of strength to realize that, shed the old layer of worn out skin, and get a new life.

Now to your points:

“Falsifying a male ID on the grounds of facial hair and protrusions” - those were the assets he flaunted in our faces.

“Theft of their hearts, deception to gain access to their lives” - you give your heart when you know that it will be cherished. But if a person uses deception to get it, then it is nothing but theft.

“Evading liability relating to any of your actions, trespassing to other feminine pastures” - this particular jerk hit on me!

“Assault of their friends, battery of their ego, unlawful wounding of their self-esteem, wounding with intent of their pride” - this one takes a woman who is addicted to a man, and a man who is using that against her.

“Recklessness throughout the relationship, negligence of their needs, intimidation and threats, conspiracy against their peace of mind, and murder of their happily ever after dreams” - I agree, some women do that too. But again this post is about jerks:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Hi again Shimaa,

Congratulations!!! You used the past tense in your comment - this in its own is an achievement!

How about this? Once a doormat, never a doormat again!

Isn't this what life is all about?

This man was generous to leave you your paper and pen - he left you with the best tool to help you through a faster and better recovery.

Writing has the power of detoxifying. In my first article ever I said that I was "vomiting the toxic residues of a relationship that went sour"

It does not matter if he read or not, the most important thing is that you can still write.

Speaking of that, when do I get to see a sample?

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

"And he will never forget about me, he will live the rest of his life regretting what he wasted and what his missing."

yes amany ... he will never forget!!

when the new chick kick his ass, he will remember the woman he abuse, and how she was able to create a whole world for him

and when life treat him badly, he will recall how guilty he is toward someone who only loved...

yeh he will ... hope soon... tomorrow .. no ! NOW
------------------

to eyad

:) you are a man ... how could you tell, you have it all in your hand, so you will never understand!

i remember that one of your major ideas is about the inferiority that is planted in women in eastern countries (ex: egypt) since she is a kid, she is taught to be helpless, depend on the man, follow him, has absolutely no control in anything that is related to any kind of relations between them, even if it is friendship

now u say that u don't believe in victim-criminal relationship... and that love and heart are willingly given !!

you cannot deny that when a man and a woman are in a relation, he always tend to deal with her as a property, a specially owned area, and deal typically on that basis, and when he is done consuming her, he simply let go.

and the old record starts playing: we can better as freinds, it is not meant to be, i cant feel love anymore, something missing bla bla bla

it is in the man'shand, the fate of a heart, the fate of a woman

i don't have a feeling of inferiority specially if i am compared with a man, but i know very well that men has mostly fake feelings of superiority and were taught that they are the masters of our lives

it is a culture thing
a way of life that we have adopted, and even when few refuse it, they were condemned with emotion and life failure

ps: i am not generalizing, i am just highlighting over 70% men's attitude.

eyad harfoush said...

Dear Marwa,
Thanks for the valuable comment, I think we are in consensus, I just wanted to highlight that sometimes we are trapped in the “to me” phase, and obviously you an Amany are too educated to be trapped in this


Dear Trapped soul,

“you are a man ... how could you tell” I am a “male” but the matter of “man” will be according to what you mean, I guess the definition of a “man” is different in my dictionary than yours. And my gender does not affect my abilities to understand people, males and females.

The drawbacks of our patriarchal domination society is still one of my major subjects of interest. But I find it affecting the happiness of the society at all, the dominant males who feel to weak to play this role, and the dominated females who refuse this inferior status. It is a burden on everybody because it is simply against nature.

The roots of this societal issue is religious, Egypt has been a gender equity country during the pagan era before Christianity then Islam, where women became subordinated by power of religion to the hole “male” who was created on his own, while the woman is only a rib turned into flesh and blood to “amuse” him, how can you expect males to be fair while the following words are claimed everywhere to be a “holy hadieth”

ثم يقطع الصــــــــــــــلاة المرأة والحمار والكلب- صحيح مسلم

جاء أن النبي (ص) رأى امرأة فأتى امرأته زينب تدلك قطعة من الجلد فقضى حاجته ثم خرج إلى أصاحبه فقال " إن المرأة تقبل فى صورة شيطان وتدبر فى صورة شيطان فإذا أبصر أحدكم امرأة فليأت أهله فإن ذلك يرد ما بنفسه - صحيح مسلم، كتاب النكاح

ما أفلح قوم ولُّوا أمرهم امرأة- البخارى والترمذى والنسائى والإمام أحمد

الشؤم في ثلاث: الفرس والمرأة والبيت - البخارى: الجزء الرابع ، متفق عليه

للمرأة ستران القبر والزوج. قيل: وأيهما أفضل؟ قال: القبر - الطبراني في المعجم الكبير والصغير

أعدى عدوك زوجتك التي تضاجعك - الطبراني في المعجم الكبير والصغير

وقمت على باب النار فإذا عامة من دخلها النساء – البخارى

المرأة كالضلع: إن أقمتها كسرتها، وإن استمتعت بها استمتعت بها وفيها عوج - البخاري و مسلم

إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فأبت أن تجيء فبات غضبان عليها , لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح - البخاري و مسلم

ما تركت بعدي فتنة أشد على الرجال من النساء - البخاري و مسلم

إن من حق الزوج عل زوجته أن لو سال منخراه دما وقيحا فلحسته ما أدت حقه ولو كان ينبغى لبشر أن يسجد لبشر لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها إذا دخل عليها - رواه البزار

لا تسكنوا نساءكم الغرف ولا تعلموهن الكتاب، واستعينوا عليهن بالعرى وأكثروا لهن من قول "لا" فإن "نعم" تغريهن على المسألة – الحكم

أيما امرأة استعطرت ثم مرت على القوم ليجدوا ريحها فهي زانية - النسائي والحاكم وابن خزيمة وابن حبان في صحيحهما وأبو داود والترمذي

لعن الله الواصلة والمستوصلة - البخاري و مسلم

لعن الله القاشرة والمقشورة - رواه أحمد في مسنده

مثل المرأة الصالحة بين النساء مثل الغراب الأعصم بين مئة غراب - ابن ماجه في الكبير عن أبي أمامة بسند ضعيف

أنه سمع رسول الله (ص) يقول للنساء، وقد اختلطن بالرجال في الطريق "استأخرن فإنه ليس لكن أن تحققن الطريق، عليكن بحافات الطريق"، فكانت المرأة تلتصق بالجدار حتى إن ثوبها ليتعلق بالجدار من لصوقها به - أبي داوود في سننه

As far as these words are treated as holy words, males and females in this land will be emotionally tortured, as far as you are perceived as “3awra” even your voice, no room for feminism and your war is against taboos “trapped soul” not against men. Despite the fact of being male, I started my book “Re-Liberation of Woman- between Devine Justice & Fundamentalist Injustice”, fighting the religious taboos with solid religious proofs.

eyad harfoush said...

Marwa, by the way, there is a special recognition to you in the intro of this book as u inspired the starting sparkle by opening the subjects in a previous post.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Hello again Marwa,
Thank you for your sweet words.
It will be an honour if you had enough time to check a sample of my humble way to detoxify.
http://shimaagamal.blogspot.com

Thank you again

strawberry said...

oh god,how did u know?i was in those shoes for 7 months of life,the only time i ever regreted ever,thanks marwa,of all things u know how to "feel" if u know what i mean

Marwa Rakha said...

yes Strawberry ... I feel you .. I am you ... and you are me .... all women have some things in common and most of these things are the outcome of something a man did.

I hope you have healed

x

MechanicalCrowds said...

ouch!
any proposed solutions?

Fantasia said...

Brilliant post! I wish all those senseless pigs will read it. We should make copies of this letter and send it to all the male residents of Egypt. I like all the adjectives you used and I can add hundreds to them myself.

Marwa Rakha said...

Yes MC .. I would propose, as a start, to send this letter to anyone who is,or suspected to be, a jerk.

Then send it to all girls who accept to be treated like shit, maybe they will get their act together.

Marwa Rakha said...

Dear Fantasia,

Go ahead .. make copies, adjust the adjectives, and send it:)

Glad to have you among my readers:)

Eyad Harfoush said...

Dear Marwa,

Consider writing about the other side of the coin, as there are some jerks, there are always some SHADOW SEEKERS who are the easiest target for these jerks. (shadow comes fro: ضل راجل و لا ضل حيطة

Yasmine said...

Marwa, fellow Campus writer,

This is my first time on your blog, and i'm loving all your entries, but this specific one struck a chord. I sat motionless, speechless and thoughtless for a good 10 minutes after reading it.

Chapeau :)

Marwa Rakha said...

Welcome to my blog Yasmine:) This article touches most women one way or the other. Damn Jerks!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a guy and i confess this has touched a sensitive cord in me...sounds strange but i experienced somewhat similar experiences from women in here.

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Anonymous Guy

I am glad you stopped by ... feelings are universal and genderless ... it is just rare that you would come across a man who would admit to feeling hurt that bad.

I have also discovered that people - men or women - are mean and nasty only when they can ... in other words, they are mean and nasty when the other party allows them.

Women here? Yes I can imagine:)