This screen looks so familiar.
I miss blogging.
I miss my best friend.
I miss Egyptian Fe-mail.
Dear blog, I am back
Let me dive into your arms again
Hold me ... I want to cry
I do not even know how to start this post for just the thought of someone reading it inhibits me. I need to feel nude, exposed, and vulnerable. I need to let go and let writing heal me. I will pretend that no one is here ... I will pretend that no one will read me ... I will pretend that it's just me and you again my dear blog.
I am socially inept!
I have come to realize that I was not meant to get up-close and personal with other human beings. I dodge social gatherings, weddings, birthdays, and any other event that demands that I be nice and talkative. I had friends but I always felt awkward around them; I do not talk the way they talk ... I do not think the way they think ... I do not want the same things they want ... I have always been a misfit. I am tired of telling the same stories to entertain them and I am sick of listening to theirs ... I would put them on mute and watch them move their heads as their lips open and close ... puppets ... deformed puppets.
It hurt.
I escaped real life and I created my virtual world. Blogging saved me. I met people who were like me. I felt normal. I finally fit. I leaned on blogging and bloggers for support. I just noticed that my best friends are bloggers. Bloggers are not people; they are souls exposed through their words. When I need to feel a human connection I don't call someone up, I visit a blog ... how isolated is that? I finally met people who shared my beliefs. It is funny how bloggers do not ask stupid questions. They do not pry. They are just human beings in need of space. They were not afraid of me.
Bit by bit my old friends began crawling back into my life. I still felt different but I felt special. I knew what they did not know. I have been to places they would never dare explore. I sponged on so many human experiences that their shallowness would never consume me. I did not mind letting them back into my life. I thought I was immune. I thought they could never hurt me.
I thought wrong.
Their poisonous effect spread into my life. I feel drained. What's the antidote to the lies, the fakeness, the games, the silly stories, the stupid jokes, the awkward silence, the holier than though attitude, and the lack of air? I cannot breathe. I began questioning myself again ... I began doubting my strength ... What is wrong with me? Why can't I fit? Why can't I talk to them? Yes ... I know ... they do not speak my language. Damn it!
Crawling back into my blog.
Showing posts with label Egyptian Blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Egyptian Blogger. Show all posts
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Global Voices Online - Roundup
GLOBAL VOICES - MARWA RAKHA
Not Guilty: Egypt's Ferry Disaster
On February 3, 2006 Al-Salam ferry sank in the middle of the Red Sea killing more than 1,000 people who were coming to Safaga, Egypt from Saudi Arabia. The passengers were mainly Egyptian workers in Saudi Arabia, who were returning home on vacation or who were bringing their savings home to retire in their homeland. The Egyptian criminal court has found the owner of a Red Sea ferry and four others not guilty of manslaughter.
The families of the victims as well as Egyptian bloggers were shocked and angered.
Wandering Scarab, in "The Dreaded Ferry" wrote:
Egypt Silences the Voice of Iran
On July 24th, Maggie Michael reported:
Egyptian authorities shut down the Cairo office of an Iranian TV network, a security official said Thursday, as the two nations spar over a film that justifies the killing of former Egyptian President Anwar Sadat by Islamic militants.
Blogger Dina Ayoub in her post Egypt vs Iran takes us back to the time when President Sadat signed the peace treaty with Israel:
Egypt: A Man's Views on Sexual Harassment
Emotional Deficit. For several decades, the Egyptian society was being Islamized, making the chances of having a natural and healthy pre-marriage boy-girl relationship ever diminishing. Marriage itself, it would seem is becoming more unaffordable than ever. The average age for marriage in Egypt for men has consistently increased. It is normal to see someone who is thirty years old who still has a few years to go before he can afford to provide the extensive requirements for marriage. In many cases, a young male in Egypt had to travel to the Gulf and work for a few years "building his fortune" to be able to afford the hefty burdens of marriage. Knowing that boys probably reach puberty at the age of 13 or 14, this means that a male in Egypt will spend some twenty years suffering from this emotional and "physical" deficit.
Mourning A Sexually Harassed Egypt - Part 2
Reuters published survey on sexual harassment in Egypt is still stirring angry responses from Egyptian bloggers.
In her post titled "Shame and Sexual Harassment in Egypt", Mona Eltahawy took a trip back in time and visited her early experiences with sexual harassment:
Mourning a Sexually Harassed Egypt
Dina - now living in Vancouver - remembers what every Egyptian woman identifies with saying
There's this look in an Egyptian man's eyes that makes me want to poke his eyes out, mutilate his body parts, and then kill him. A psychotic, undressing, invasive and violating look. A look so disgusting that it makes me shiver in my own skin, and wish that the earth would just swallow me up to cover me from it. A look so filthy, that you can see the virtual assault on you in his sleazy eyes. I hate that look so much.
The Victimization of Egyptian Women and Children
In a not-so-rare scenario in Egypt, the man has the right to beat his wife and children as much and as severely as he wishes and no criminal charges can be filed against him - unless one of them dies as a result of this beating. Why?
"Because some crazy sadistic men have claimed that this is an authorized tool for disciplining a man's wife and children in Islam! Which is absolutely not true" explains the infuriated Fantasia.
From the Diary of a Sinister Egyptian Spinster
Back in March 2008, Eman Hashim wrote a post [Ar] questioning why do Muslim Egyptian women need a "wakeel" - a man who has to sign her off to her husband. Let me give you a bit more insight here: unlike western cultures where the father gives away the bride as a jest of his approval and blessing, in Islam the marriage is "flawed" if the father, or the uncle if the father is deceased, has to speak on the bride's behalf through out all the paperwork and marriage procedures. Many sheikhs frown upon the thought of a girl - especially one who has never been married before and who is supposedly a virgin - marrying herself away.
Walk Like an Egyptian ... Marry Like an Egyptian
One particular post about Egyptian women getting married to foreign men caught my attention.
In her post about The Whores, Ghawayesh starts by saying:
"Times are changing and many ‘respected' families have come to accept the fact that their daughters can make their own choices of choosing to marry whoever they want, if they EVER CHOOSE to marry, which is also a new trend in Egypt."
"Beware of Egyptian Men," says the Canadian Embassy
Wandering Scarab - an Egyptian girl living in Canada - prior to her last visit to Egypt, decided to visit the Canadian Consulate website to register with the consulate in Egypt just in case her Canadian husband or her baby girl needed assistance with travel or local authorities. What she read on the site was appalling and ended up in her writing this post.
Women, particularly foreign women, are frequently subject to unpleasant male attention, sexual harassment, and verbal abuse. This often takes the form of staring, inappropriate remarks, catcalls, and touching. The Department publishes a booklet entitled Her Own Way: A Woman's Guide to Safe and Successful Travel. Its prime objective is to inform Canadian women and encourage them to travel safely.
Obama's ripple effect on the Egyptian blogosphere - Part 1
Politics is not my thing but this was too good to resist. When I came across Wael Nawara's writings I knew that I stumbled on a goldmine. In his post - Too Secular to Win? - Wael asked four tough questions that left his readers wondering: What is the world coming to? Where is Secular America? When did people stop thinking that a person's religion is their own business? Can Obama, if he ever wins, try to help change that? Help pick our world from these trends of rising religious-mania ... starting with the US? But will he ever win?
Wael started his post by citing an average American woman who was interviewed on CNN saying:
"I do not trust him (Obama) he is a Muslim ..."
Obama's ripple effect on the Egyptian blogosphere - Part 2
Moving from Secularism and diversity to the Rantings of a Sandmonkey on Why Obama will Fail;
"In my house , right now, I have the electoral programs for both Obama and McCain, and reading them has provided me with hours of constant amusement. McCain's program is under the impression that the world is great and everything is fine and dandy, and all we really have to do is to bomb a couple more areas in the world (a bomb here, a couple there) and all will be well with the world again. I personally love it, but that's because I am Pro-Death and would welcome anything that would bring the world's population down a notch, but I doubt the rest of you exactly share my sentiment, so, ehh, yeah, bad electoral program, bad!"
Saturday, June 14, 2008
TALES FROM AN EGYPTIAN HOUSEHOLD - THE MAID
One morning she looked more dead that she usually did. She was a carcass with still tears in her eye sockets.
"What's wrong, Om Essam?"
"Nothing anesa (Miss) Marwa."
I insisted on an answer and between her loud sobs and silent tears, she told me how her husband's illness got worse - I did not know she had a husband - and how their son Saoudy, seemed to be contracting the same illness. She cried as she told me how her husband could had not worked in the last 10 years because he sleeps all the time; how he had unexplained frenzies; how he beat her, and her daughters, whenever he had one of his fits; how he turned into the famous bull in that china shop when he tore, broke, and crushed everything she worked so hard to buy for their home.
"Yesterday, Saoudy was about to throw himself out of the window. He said he did not want to live anymore. His sisters were screaming and wailing. I begged him to come back inside and to remember God. I did not want him to die an atheist. I did not want him to go to hell. The Sheikh in the mosque promised us that we would all go to heaven. He told us that people who lead such a tough life of deprivation would enjoy luxuries that surpass all luxuries in the afterlife. I know that I will go to heaven" said the woman as she wiped her face and reached for the mop.
Read the whole story
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