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Monday, June 11, 2007

The Beauty & The Geek


If the producers of The Beauty and The Geek wanted to torture someone who thinks of herself as a beauty by having her date any of those plain geeks on the show, then I would have made an excellent candidate. I am quite certain that those girls do not care about the geeks; they are in it for the money or the fame. I am also positive that they do not continue to date them once the cameras are off. With a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek they send them off with their goddess-like smiles. Bottom line, the geeks are nice but they are not dating material! I cannot date Winnie the Pooh!

On her show, Ricki Lake invited some girls who were “single by choice” and asked them about their physical requirements in a man. They all seemed to judge a book by its cover and have lost plenty of good guys to a fixation on physical attractiveness. Ricki told them that she had what they were looking for but the name of the game is a blindfolded date dare; the girls will go on a literally blind date! I admit that my eyes have always deceived me into choosing the jerk over the geek but what am I supposed to do? Keep the blindfold on to maintain the chemistry?

So what is it that attracts me to, or repels me from, a man? I tossed away the character nonsense, the vision and mission clichés, and, by digging deeper into the layers of my Freudian heaven of a psyche, I narrowed it down to attractiveness! Yes! The attractiveness of a man is directly proportionate to my being attracted to him. Through extensive research Dallas Barabasz-Lynn has been able to discern the inner structure of attraction. The Ladder Theory claimed that 50% of a woman’s attraction to a man depends on physical attraction, 20% on competition, 20% on novelty, and 10% on other things. Power and money were categorized separately; the amount of money, and the degree of power, required to get a woman’s attention change according to her age. At the age of 16 a gift and a love note would have done the trick. As of the age of 25, a woman’s definition of the richest and the most powerful man changes with her exposure and demands.

In all my happy articles and sweet dreams I envisioned myself with the tall dark and handsome prince; the captivating gaze, the broad shoulders, the flawless smile, the husky voice, and hard in the right places - muscular that is. I have a soft spot for long soft hair, breath-freshener, clean laundry, and perfume. I also spot check nails and hands for cleanliness. Jerks who met these criteria made a doormat out of the little princess’s heart – yours truly!

Good guys who, in my eyes, had a weight or a shape issue were discarded immediately. Those who looked anything less than perfect were tormented to fit a mold that damaged me more than it hurt them. Those who were eager to please, I labeled as geeks, and those who accepted my inner or outer deformities, I crucified on the basis of their own scars and frailties.

The Ladder Theory pointed out how gals like me are attracted to competition; by competition, Lynn meant disinterest. The attractiveness of a man is by far stronger if he has other interests in life than making us happy. We are more tempted to pursue those who run away from us. “Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.” says Lynn.

What about novelty? Who wants an ordinary guy with a normal life and a normal job? – boring … yuckkkkkk! “Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work like most people because they have lots of money” says Lynn. I will add to that a few disorders that spice up the appeal of novelty: workaholic, alcoholic, manic depressive, obsessive compulsive, hypochondriac, malingerer, and chronic liar – yes, I have seen it all!

Moral of the story, if you are attractive, rich, powerful, novel, and show no interest in her, she is almost guaranteed to want to get intimate with you. Bonus points for destroying her self esteem, flirting with her friends, cheating on her, and being always late, forgetful, noncommittal, manipulative, and controlling – Isn’t this the definition of the Alfa male? Isn’t that the man who had the lion’s share of my verbal, visual, and written curses?

“So Beauty, why complain now of being painfully single, when you detest the jerks you have created and reject the geeks you have attracted?” – asked the voice of reason that I so often silence!

23 comments:

askandarani said...

La la la la, cant belive it, u cant date pooh. This raise lots of question marks!!!!!???

its my fav charachter, which raises question marks on me as well. Anyways, u left me with a broken heart.

Anonymous said...

enty bet2ooly eih? wala fahem 7agah.... 7awly te2ooly kalam ma32ool shewaya....

Anonymous said...

I agree to a certain extent but I believe that for a women to be too blind to a man who is a normal everyday working man, and who earns the little bit of "getting by" money he has, she has to be a women who thinks too high of herself. Why does a woman have to sacrifice being happy for a man who will be able to buy her all the things of her desire. I believe that even a beautiful woman in order to be happy must realize that life is about compromise. Start compromising your views ladies because the way you think of men is the way men think of women and if you're not up to par then you'll be sleeping alone forever. Maybe we all just need to watch "rThe Beauty and The Beast" again.

Eyad Harfoush said...

Dear Marwa,
Great the moments of enlightenment, when we face ourselves with the big fact; if we have a chronic problem, then most propable reason is we create it unconciously. Very few of us who can face themeselves. Liked much the word "detest the jerks you had and rejected the geeks you attrackted"

Anonymous said...

Hello there!
It's getting even more and more interesting as we dig in from facebook into this young lady's blog-spot. Yes, I'm that same guy - and I'm wondering how I never managed to bump into you out there in the real world.

I only had a chance to read your "Beauty & the Geek" - and let me tell you I am fascinated - and it's not about what you said, but about the perfection of your writing. I do agree with most of what you wrote though, but I wont go there just now.

I've bookmarked you, and I'll be visiting your page(s) whenever I can. And hey, listen... when you get curious enough; give me a sign:)

Mo

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Askandarani ... see? this is exactly the point:) I love Pooh ..... as a friend!!!

Marwa Rakha said...

Ya anonymous who does not understand anything ... leave a name next time!

Marwa Rakha said...

Hey Anonymous who believes in compromise ... please help .... how do people compromise? How is it done?

Marwa Rakha said...

Thanks Eyad .... as usual supportive, analytical, and understanding:)

Eyad Harfoush said...

Marwa, by the way, why the choice is basically done between jerks and geeks? Normal men do exist as well, I meant average in different aspects and above average in some. Right? why not to be the good exit from your maze?

Marwa Rakha said...

Mo ... emmmm .... I am glad you like my writing:) Please stop by more often ...

A sign ... well I am curious BUT experience taught me to enjoy it as long as it lasts ...

I am not in a hurry:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Normal? Oh No Eyad .... Normal will not do ... Normal will not understand me nor accept me or even stimulate my mind

the others said...

well me..im just a simple guy, sooooo..what can i say? i think your a hot looking lady Ms.Rakha! have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

Hey:)
I definitely will be coming here more often (Here I am today!?)
You know - actually I had decided I was leaving yesterday after I read that first article... and the next thing I knew I had finished almost every single article on the page. Let me tell you, I am not really that much of a reader - so, yes you're definitely good!
Somewhere in your postings I gathered you go to Alexandria every week? Parents live there? You write in a couple of magazines... freelancer? but I also figured you "decided not to show up at work that one morning" - so you do have a full time job?
Tonight I'll probably go to "Jenny's" blog spot and read some over there before I go to bed.

So till then...

Mo

Anonymous said...

I find it funny that you felt the need to immediately resort to insulting me and the tell me that I am the one who doesn't understand anything, but you don't understand something that comes with growing, and maturing...compromise. For some reason after reading many of your blogs I understand now, why you are single.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I forgot my name. This is Nicki

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Nicki ... If you look at the sequence of the comments on this post, you will find that the first one is by Askandarani, and I replied to his comment by name.

The second comment is by an anonymous person, who did not leave a name, and wrote to me in Arabic that he does not understand anything. I replied to him asking for a name.

The third comment was left by you, and you talked about compromise. I responded to you separately asking you to tell me how it is done.

I am not in the business of insulting anyone Nicki.

Marwa Rakha said...

The Others (Joe)

Simple is genius Joe, I wish you well:)

Marwa Rakha said...

Hey Mo:)

What made you consider leaving after reading my post? I guess it was my shallow streak:) I admit ... it is there:)

So you read most of my posts on this blog ... emmmm THAT should have scared you away!

I used to go to Alex once a week because I used to teach in the Marine Academy ... got too hectic .. I stopped.

Yes, I free lance for some magazines.

I wrote a post where I was finally divorced! This was the day I resigned from my full time job. I am startign full time again on July 15.

For now I teach in AUC, free lance write, free lance train, and TV.

Jenny? Ok ... be warned:)

Anonymous said...

Hello yafandem:)
No. I don't think you are shallow. On the contrary, I like the way you try to go into the depth of things. I don't necessarily agree with you on everything - but I like that you at least make an analysis and not deal with only face value.
The reason I was leaving was that I was exhausted. I needed some sleep, but I couldn't go until I had gone through the posting.
Yes, some of what you wrote should scare most people off, and that makes you special. You seem to be a tough young lady, but I have my doubts about that. What I do know, is that you are not the young lady we run into around the block. You have got one hell of head on your shoulders, and I would like to enjoy communicating with that head. Guess what: you are not the only person around here that likes challenges:)
I'll have to go now, but I'll check back in an hour or two. Theres a note I'll send you on facebook in a little while, so I want you to check there too... please?:)

Mo

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your total disdain for my chosen life style.

I am a geek. I choose not to dress well, even tough I can afford the best clothes and cars. I am not particularly handsome nor do I regret that God gave me more brains than looks. I would never trade my brains for looks.

You must know that you are loosing on a lot. Many geeks are brainy and that is what makes men advance in this new world of information.

Men that have used their brains more than their muscles are the new alpha males. It is just that some unevloved females have just not found out yet. Evolution will follow the new realities of the world.

Next time when you see a geek here are 3 thoughts that might you help to evolve into this century.

1-Imagine he could be the next bill gates.
2-Know for sure that he will work harder to please you and tolerate you in a bad hair day or when you hit old age.
3-Know that bigger brains are more powerful than muscles, for that just imagine all the muscular, handsome but poor men working for the brainy geeks.

If you meet a handsome late century style alpha male think these 3 toughts and you may be turned off.

1-Imagine him being yelled at by his geek boss.
2-Imagine that both your lives depended on him using his brain instead of his charm.
3-Imagine all the STDs that he could have from playing around with all the Stupid Girls that never knew the value of protection.

Anonymous said...

Next time when you see a geek here are 3 thoughts that might you help to evolve into this century.

1-Imagine he could be the next bill gates.
2-Know for sure that he will work harder to please you and tolerate you in a bad hair day or when you hit old age.
3-Imagine all the STD he could have from fooling all the stupid girls into bed ( being fooled easily i guess they did not have the brain power to realise that protection is a must )

Marwa Rakha said...

Hello Mr. Future Bill Gates,

I guess you also go by the name Dragos ..

I am not attacking you ... This whole article is a confession ... I sort of incriminated myself ... It is a character flaw ... my character flaw

"Jerks who met these criteria made a doormat out of the little princess’s heart – yours truly!

Moral of the story, if you are attractive, rich, powerful, novel, and show no interest in her, she is almost guaranteed to want to get intimate with you. Bonus points for destroying her self esteem, flirting with her friends, cheating on her, and being always late, forgetful, noncommittal, manipulative, and controlling – Isn’t this the definition of the Alfa male? Isn’t that the man who had the lion’s share of my verbal, visual, and written curses?

“So Beauty, why complain now of being painfully single, when you detest the jerks you have created and reject the geeks you have attracted?” – asked the voice of reason that I so often silence!"